God is helping me!

I was able to fast today, and I don't mind mentioning it, because, although I asked God to help me with my fast, I am not doing it for completely spiritual reasons. Since I began this year that I've dedicated to losing 100 lbs., I have studied a really good book on fasting, God's Chosen Fast. It was given to me by good friends who lived on Andrews AFB when we were stationed on Bolling. I've noticed that book several times over the years, and, even though I have fasted, I never read the book until this year. According to the author and the scriptures, there are many reasons for fasting: health reasons (it is really very good for your health and healing, to draw closer to God, to petition God, as a group a fast for deliverance for a nation, a church, a people etc., for revelation, for personal sanctity, to change God's mind, and to buffet the body. This time I am doing it for health reasons and to buffet my body--because I've been doing the bad kind of buffetting.

Conner is feeling a little better today, but he didn't sleep much all day long. I'm used to him taking a long morning nap and a short afternoon nap. I took care of him a little longer today, because Cam picked him up instead of me driving him home. He got sleepy right before she got home! I still got a lot done, in between picking Conner up and putting him back on his quilt where his toys are, putting him in and out of his bouncy chair, rocking him, trying him in his crib, where all he did was play with his feet and hands and throwing his pacifier out of his crib! I think I burned a lot of calories taking care of Little Man today. While I was carrying him upstairs, he decided to turn upside down so that he could see the light in the foyer as we walked up the stairs! Luckily I had a good hold on him, but I don't think I can carry anything else up the stairs when I am carrying Conner.

My future daughter in law, Elise, graduated formally today. She actually graduated in January, but her ceremony was today. Don took off work to go to her graduation.
She has a history degree and will eventually teach high school history, I think. Right now she is working as an accountant.

Hubby Don's twin brother, Ron, and his family are coming through tomorrow night. Chris, our oldest, is playing in a concert at Bull Run Park, and then everyone is coming to our house for Mexican food, that I am preparing.I am looking forward to getting together with my family, because we were away on Mother's Day, and we haven't all been together in a long time.

I'll be blogging daily from now on....as I work on losing the other 78 lbs. that I am determined to lose this year. Thanks for your prayers.

Coming Clean

I have been blowing my diet for weeks, and I don't seem to be able to stop myself. I
spent a long time tonight asking God to help me, and I feel much calmer about it now.
So I am going to fast for a couple of days, because that helps me get things in the right perspective and begin my food program all over again on Sat. morning.

God is so much better able to handle all of the things that I am worried about than I am, including my food issues. Don and I went away for the weekend, and we had so much fun. Sunday we went to church in Hendersonville, NC, and we enjoyed the worship service, but I missed my boys. After that we went to the North Carolina Arboretum and walked for several miles. Also, before church I worked out in the hotel pool. But I ate badly all day....and all day Monday...and all day Tuesday....and all day today. It's like I'm blowing my diet just to blow it. So I'm mad at myself, and that's not a good thing either. I'm being honest, because
this is a vicious cycle that can go on for months if I let it. And I made a committment to lose 100 lbs. this year. I can still do it....God and I can still do it...if I don't waste anymore time. Pray for me, if you're reading this. I'm feeling despair over the fact that I'm losing my focus.

On the positive side, I've been doing a great job with my house, Conner, and I've been writing and painting. I'm writing devotionals and Bible studies while I'm working on a big project. I'm really trying to write for a living, and I'm learning great things through all of the resources I got at the Christian Writer's conference.

Little Man has a cold, and we aren't liking that! He's not been sick yet. I spent a lot of the morning suctioning out his nose. I forgot how much babies hate that. He kept batting my hand away and giving me his scrunchy face. He's still moving all over the place and playing with his toys, his feet, his hands and my face! :) So I guess he's not too sick.

Pray for my brother, who has been sick, my neighbor Barbara, who has an impossible situation, and my son Nathan, who is working on some hard issues in his life...he is doing well, though. I'll let you know how the fasting and the new committment goes. Feel free to ask.

My Baby Brother....and Switching gears

My brother, Greg, sent me some great pictures of him and his wife Denise and my nephew Ansel. They live in Colorado in a really great area. I think they are at a meeting for Democrats here...they are delegates for the Democratic party in Colorado.
I love my brother's smile. He looks a lot like my dad did when he was younger...and my son Don looks a lot like Greg did when he was younger. People say we look alike, too, and I agree somewhat. (Poor guy!) :) Ansel looks a lot like Greg, too, but I can also see his mom in him.

Don is taking me to Asheville, North Carolina for a short little weekend away for Mother's Day. We have been thinking of retiring there someday, so we decided to go down and check out housing prices and other things about the area. Don traveled there with the AF, and he tells me that if we visit there, I will want to move there. I'm not so sure. I think it would take a really special place to make me want to move away from Little Man. Speaking of Conner, he will be 8 months old on May 11. It's hard to believe. He is rolling all over the place and sitting up to play...still a little wobbly. He will be pulling up and crawling soon I think. Then I'll really be busy.

Our weekend was wonderful. Defining Moments was the best ever because of the stories that were shared and the diversity of the performances. I feel very lucky to be part of a church that allows its members to use their talents to serve God in such creative ways. There were lots of visitors there, and I only heard positive comments from all of them. Our neighbor came and really enjoyed it...Don and I considered that a real compliment because he is the Creative minister at New Life Christian church. He said it was very inspiring. We were encouraged to see him there--Lisa, his wife was in Louisville at her neice's graduation. Our friend Christine was there too. She said it was uplifting to her as well.

NOW...back to my diet. Ugh! I have been doing awesome...until this weekend. I ate badly Sat. night after Defining Moments, because I didn't eat lunch--I was at the ER all afternoon. (I thought I had blood poisoning from having an infected foot. I didn't, but they gave me a strong antibiotic. I'm doing better.) Yesterday I did pretty well, but today I did awful....because Don worked late and I didn't really eat dinner, so I just snacked. The main thing is that I need to get back to taking care of myself. I've been dealing with some pretty hard issues that have taken away my focus on myself, but now I have to get back to self discipline. I have three friends out there who have been encouraging me to write in my blog again, so I am. Tomorrow I am beginning a walking challenge on Sparkpeople.com. I am going to walk 6 miles a day for a month. I also intend to stay in the lower part of my calorie range for the whole month. Hold me accountable my friends!

Yesterday's blog--Grace and Lisa

Yesterday I was having a sad day. I like ironing when I am sad--there is something soothing in smoothing out the wrinkles of my husband's shirts when I can't smooth out the wrinkles in my life. I decided to call Grace when I was ironing and found out she may not be living near me much longer. That's all it took to make me cry. Luckily Little Man was busy bouncing his bouncy seat and didn't pay any attention to Grandma's tears. Why do I always feel guilty when someone moves out of my life? I think of all the times I was too preoccupied in my own life to get together with Grace...and now I may not have the opportunity much longer. Grace is one of the most creative and intelligent person I have ever known who also possesses a great humility. Most people with her skills, knowledge and beautiful home might be a little proud, but not Grace. She is hospitable, kind, and she is interested in the lives and marriages of others. I love that about her and Roland. She is a great wife, mother and friend. I will miss her and Roland.

I worked every moment yesterday when I wasn't taking care of Conner. Lisa rode with me as I took Conner home, and then she called me last night to see if I wanted to go help her clean offices, which is her part time job. I've been looking for ways to earn extra money, and I always have fun with Lisa, so I went to clean with Lisa last night after I washed up our dinner dishes. Don gave me his blessing, because I was in my processing mode, and all he really wanted to do was click through the channels with his new giant remote that our son gave him for his birthday and maybe play wii....basically not process with me. Lisa and I had fun, and we got a lot of cleaning done really fast. She said that it usually takes longer with a new person, but we finished ontime, and I vacuumed more offices than I needed to vacuum. It was an hour's worth of work, and I made $30--not bad. I actually like cleaning, and as you can see it burns a LOT of calories. Today I hope to do some writing.

A Kindred Heart

Now I know why we need such a diverse body of believers! I am finding fellowship with a woman with whom I have never spoken, but who could, if I could speak to her, completely understand the grief my heart feels over my son Nathan, who has moved far from us, although he lives just a block away. Ruth Graham, Billy Graham's wife, wrote a beautiful book that reads like a balm to a hurting parent's heart, PRODIGALS AND THOSE WHO LOVE THEM. I wrote away for this book months ago, and had only given it a cursory glance here and there before two weeks ago. Ruth Graham uses scriptures, her own reflections and beautiful poetry to express the agony she went through as several of her own children went through pretty long prodigal seasons. This one I really relate to:

Had I Been Joseph's Mother
Had I been Joseph's mother
I'd have prayed
protection from his brothers
"God, keep him safe.
He is so young, so different from
the others."
Mercifully,
she never knew
there would be slavery
and prison, too.

Had I been Moses' mother
I'd have wept
to keep my little son:
praying she might forget
the babe drawn from the water
of the Nile.
Had I not kept
him for her
nursing him the while,
was he not mine?
--and she
but Pharaoh's daughter

Had I been Daniel's mother
I should have pled
"Give victory!
--this Babylonian horde
godless and cruel--
Don't let him be a captive
--better dead.
Almighty Lord!"

Had I been Mary,
Oh, had I been she
I would have cried
as never mother cried
"Anything, O God,
Anything...
but crucified>'

With such prayers importunate
my finite wisdom would assail
Infinite Wisdom.
God, how fortunate
Infinite Wisdom
should prevail.

By Ruth Graham

A Much Better Day

I got so much done around the house today that I counted the hours I cleaned house as exercise. I cleaned every minute I wasn't holding or caring for Conner, which was about 3 hours. I cleaned the carpets downstairs and got caught up with the laundry,dusted the piano and other furniture and cleaned bathrooms. Tomorrow and Thursday I want to work outside.

I hope everyone got their taxes done. Don did ours a week ago, and this year all of our sons did their own, so I didn't have to think about taxes today.

Tomorrow I am going to finish up my housework and write for three hours, if all goes as planned. Conner is enjoying his new mobility and plays a lot on his own now. But he still loves being in Grandma's lap.

Today was a much better day.

Beginning Again

Today is our son Steve's birthday. I didn't get to talk to him, because of his work schedule, but both Don and I left messages on his phone. We are getting together on Friday night for birthday cake for hubby Don and Steve. 27 years ago, I had a precious, sweet little baby boy! He has been easily pleased and very caring towards other people all of these years. I am thankful to know Steve as a man...he is the kind of person I would want for a friend if he wasn't my son.

I had a pretty low day today--I knew it was coming, and I decided to give in to it--for a day. It's one thing to be broken hearted for myself--but it's another thing to see my husband and our whole family broken-hearted. I'm sure Nathan is broken-hearted too, even though no one has heard from him. We have always been a unit....even after we went into different units, especially the brothers. I have always wondered about Jesus saying, "Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted." I have thought a lot about that statement. There is an implication there that we have a choice whether or not we mourn. Maybe denial is a refusal to mourn--"everything is oookay". And when we are in denial, it's not like we don't know there is a problem--we just are not mourning, so we can't be comforted. Today I didn't want to get out of bed. Don had to work, and I don't watch Little Man on Mondays, so I stayed in bed until almost 9. Then I got up and made coffee for son Don who goes to work at 10. (He and I stayed up talking from 1 until 3 this morning...a really good, meaningful conversation.) Anyway, after I finished making the coffee, I went back to bed and stayed there all morning. I can't remember the last time I did that....and I cried out to God. All of the rest of the day I felt sad, but better. Tonight I feel comforted, and Don does too...God is answering prayers. Chris has been so supportive even though he and his brothers are sad about Nathan, too, and Chris and Cameron have been having some of their own stress. I was expecting to see Nathan today--he hasn't picked up his tax forms from here. But I didn't go looking for him...he's a man, and they are his taxes. (Boy, is he going to be mad at himself if he misses out on his tax rebate.)
Tomorrow is a new day...I am beginning again with my daily self-discipline. I actually have been keeping up with most of it this past week...I've been doing my Bible study and prayer, and I've been exercising most days. I have also been doing fairly well with calories. Today, I didn't count calories or exercise. I decided making the bed, picking up and washing the clothes is good enough for today. I put the trash out for Don, since he had to work late. He appreciated that. I got almost everything I needed to do for tomorrow done this afternoon, and I decided to stay up a little late and write in my blog. For a while, I am going to focus on my daily discipline in my blog. I have heard that when we are going through trials, we should rely on our daily routine to feel more normal. Also, I am going to try hard not to be a burden to my loved ones. God can sustain me and meet my needs.

Still needing prayers

My friends Diane and Chris Sterritt have gone to be with their daughter, Jenn, who fell off of her bicycle at college and broke her jaw in several places. Jenn is a sweet, smart, beautiful girl...and I love her. (I'd love her even if she was surly, not so smart and not so beautiful.) Please pray for Jenn, for Diane and Chris and for Sarah. Pray for their safe return from Nashville, too. Sometimes life gets really hard!

Pray for our youngest son, Nathan, too. He is living on his own now, and his whole family loves and misses him....and we are all concerned for him and his well-being.

Please pray for our whole family. We have a lot to be thankful for, with our little Conner and knowing that Cameron is okay. But we are still concerned for Cameron's health....I want her to start feeling like her old self again. Don and I are having a hard time with all of the stress, but we are dealing with it as a team, relying on God to help us. But we're still upset. Pray that we maintain our discipline and that we not worry. Thanks, friends for your prayers.

Cream Tea with Lisa, Hazel and Conner

It was a beautiful day today, and Conner and I visited our neighbor Hazel with Lisa, my next door neighbor for "cream tea". Hazel is from England, and we love teasing her about it. Lisa and I dressed up and I put on some fancy winter gloves, and we both wore long dresses. Hazel got a kick out of us. She lost her sweet husband, Bob, who was the handyman servant of God in our neighborhood (suddenly, last fall).

I'm cutting this short, because I'm exhausted and I have art class tomorrow. Have a great weekend.

Family Time

I know I haven't blogged in a long time, but we've been having several things in our family that have taken priority. We found out that my daughter-in-law is okay...she has Bell's Palsey, which is not serious, but the symptoms look like other things, like a brain tumor, which is what we were all concerned about. She had an MRI last Friday, and we found out Tuesday she is okay. That is a huge relief to us all...especially Chris and Cameron.

Our son Nathan moved out on his own over the weekend, which is something he has been wanting to do for a long time. We are praying that he will be able to thrive on his own and that he will be blessed by our Heavenly Father, as he turns to Him for guidance. We will miss him living with us.

Some really great news is that our son Don and his beautiful fiance Elise Swenson are getting married September 27th at our church building. We are all excited and are looking forward to their wedding very much.

Don Sr. has been doing automatic weapons training, hand to hand combat training, counter terrorism training and shotgun training for his new position. I was really nice to him this week! :) Both Don Sr. and Don Jr. have birthdays this week: Sr. 53, Jr. 24! Son Steve's birthday is Monday....he is going to be 27. He got to sit in 1st row at a Caps game--I think it is Caps....one of those pro games, anyway...I'm sure basketball. Can you tell I do water aerobics and watch Dancing with the Stars?

Needing Prayers

We had a pretty rough weekend. The Christian Writers' conference was wonderful. We have a lot going on at home with our family right now. We would appreciate your prayers.

A Little "Under the Weather"

I have been away from my computer this week, because I have had some problems with my right hand--I have been having a lupus flare up, and for a couple of days, I couldn't use my right hand, because all of the joints were so painful. I didn't really calculate my calories and I didn't exercise except for walking on Tue afternoon, but today I got back into the swing of things. My hand is still a little sore, but I can use it again.

I had a lot of fun on April Fool's day! I was able to trick: hubby Don,son Nathan, my daughter in law,Cam, my friends Lisa,Lynn, Cynthia and Lisa's daughter, London.
I'm too tired to write about them all, but there was a lot of laughing.

My daughter in law is on my mind tonight. She is having an MRI tomorrow. I'm praying for her...she's been having some confusing symptoms. I think she's okay, but I'm still praying for her. She's more like a daughter to me....we all really love her and need her to be her spunky healthy self! Her mom is on my mind, too. She had a car accident. We were really glad she wasn't injured, but so sorry she messed up her car.

I navigated my way to Ft. Belvoir and got groceries tonight...to my own peril. At one point, people were whizzing by me so fast that I put on my hazard lights. I didn't really feel like going there but Lisa and I are going to Baltimore for the Christian Writers' conference tomorrow night, and I didn't want to leave Don with no healthy food at home. I'll write more next week...have a good weekend.

Running Errands....Spending time with Don....

Don and I spent the whole day out today, running errands. It was our last Monday off together for some time. He went to do his PT for his new job site and found out that he will be doing a 3 week training course beginning next Monday. I don't like it when our schedule changes. I like my schedule ruts. At least we will have Sat. off together, but this Sat. my friend, Lisa, and I are going to a Christian Writers' conference in Baltimore. Conner's other grandmother will swap her Monday for my Friday, and Lisa and I will leave early for Baltimore. Both of us have signed up for a 15 minute consultation with a writer/instructor in addition to all of the classes. I am hoping that both of us will end up getting some of our writing published. I'm planning on bringing some of my poetry and some other writing I've been doing. Either way, I think we will have fun and learn a lot. We have gone on a couple of trips together, and we always have a good time. This time Lisa won't be speaking, so we won't have to do anything but talk and have fun on the way there.

I didn't focus enough on my food today, as you can see from my calories....I was surprised how they added up. I didn't overeat volume wise or eat emotionally....we just ate breakfast out....and had nuts instead of lunch. Nuts add up!

Wonderful Day

I woke up at 5 AM and went to the pool this morning....it was great! There were only 3 people when I got there at 6 AM. I worked out for an hour, did some shopping for Bible class, got a coffee and picked Don up early for church. I like being up for a long time before church...my mind was really ready for worship. I think I'm going to do that more often.

Bible class was a lot of fun--think about 20 kids, half boys who are each others' friends! My partner was out, and it took two moms to take her place! Mary Jane is good with keeping the classroom calm--I missed her, but the moms did great. We had a lot to do, and it all got done! Prayer circles was a big group, too. We all had been praying for Bob, so everyone was a little sad. We talked about Heaven though. That's what we talked about in Bible class too. I love kids! They are so honest.

We took our son Steve out to lunch, because we were picking up Don's car from him--his is in the shop. I love spending individual time with our kids. I'm going to quit early tonight....I want time with Don.

Not my will...

God is always faithful...ready to keep His promise to draw near to us as we draw near to Him. That is what I have discovered time and time again. In the past, I could accomplish some things on my own without leaning on His strength, but now, unless I am walking in constant acknowledgement of my need of Him, then whatever I am doing feels fake, like just going through the motions . I am not satisfied with going through the motions of life anymore...even for one day. I think that is where boredom orginates....in a refusal to draw nearer to God each day...at least in my life. I am not willing to settle for half of an effort in my spiritual life, and I refuse to live a boring existance into my old age. As Romans 12 says, our spiritual form of worship is offering our bodies as a living sacrifice daily, and God promises to renew our minds. We can constantly be renewed until we pass on into our new lives, so boredom should never be an issue....neither should bondage to any earthly thing.

Today in part of my Bible study, I read: "Come all you who are thirsty, come to the waters, and you who have no money, come buy and eat! Come buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear, and come to Me, hear Me, that your soul may live. I will make an everlasting covenant with you, my faithful love promised to David...Seek the Lord while He may be found, call on Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and He will have mercy on him and to our God, for He will freely pardon.
For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from Heaven and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed to the sower and bread for the eater, so is My word that goes out from My mouth; It will not return to Me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." Isaiah 55
I am asking God to keep it forever in my mind that only He can supply my needs. No matter what it is I think I want or need at any given moment, what satisfies me is being in close fellowship with Him. Worrying certainly doesn't help me or anyone else. I had a much better day today.

Still Blowing It.....

Hey, friends, I need both your prayers and your admonitions! For the past two days, I have been blowing my diet--after having such a victory last week. I know exactly what the problem is. I haven't been having my time with God this week, and I've been worrying about some family problems going on.
That combination--not drawing near to God and not giving Him my worries--is what gets me off track every time I am doing well with my self discipline. I am repenting now. I will, from this moment on, give my worries over to God and stop stress eating. I am dedicating the next three days to Him--redirecting my life back into His care and putting my Bible study back into top priority. Check in tomorrow night....I will be back on track with my calories and exercise, as long as God is back in control of me. And I'm not missing any more posts.

Learning Manners and Tummy Time with Grandma

Conner and I had a busy day today. He was happy to see me and gave me his sweetest "Goodmorning, Grandma!" smile. He was happily playing in his little seat with his dangly toys when his tummy decided, "IT IS TIME!" I, being the experienced grandmother that I am, have the timing down! In less than two minutes, I had mixed up a bottle of formula, mixed it with some cereal and fruit and had spooned in the first bite. Conner tasted it with a grimace and let me know he preferred bananas to applesauce...oh, well! Then he did a growl/yell at me because I wasn't spooning fast enough for the Little Prince! I stopped spooning and made my "No-No!" face and said, "Say bite, please, Grandma!" Conner gave me his cutest cereal-all-over-the-face smile, and he had me! But neither did he growl at me anymore....of course I was scooping it in pretty quickly!

Then we did "tummy-time"! (which he hates!) When my kiddos were babies, it was okay to put them down on their tummies to sleep. Not so anymore--evidently all of the kids over say, 25 years old, should have not made it to two years old, because they slept on their tummies. As a result of the new sleeping rules, Conner loves his back and hates his tummy. I want him to learn to roll, and the doctor recommends tummy time. We should call it screaming on his tummy time....with Grandma turning him over and over like a little pancake, clapping her hands like a dummy, and saying with animation, "Yea! Conner!!!" Finally I gave up and took a folding clothes break, leaving him hollering on his tummy. Conner got quiet, so I peeked around the corner to see him on his BACK, playing with his feet contentedly!
Yea! Conner! SO like a Grandma, I wanted to SEE him do it, so I turned him back over! BIG MISTAKE! Tummy time was over--until tomorrow!

Sanity returned today....and I walked even though I'm having a lupus flare up.
Now I know why I was so tired yesterday. I'm going to bed early...

Momentary Loss of Sanity

I blew it tonight....I wasn't myself all day. I was worn out from the weekend, but I still got caught up with the laundry and cleaned two out of three levels of our townhouse. But just before I left the house to take Conner home, Don got mad at me because I didn't call him at work to give him an important phone message--he usually calls me a lot during the day, so I thought he would today as well. Conner was extra fussy, so I didn't notice he didn't call me until he walked through the door. Evidently he had been checking his cell phone all day to see if he had received any messages. And I didn't remember my son had paid me some money he owed me and argued the point with him for a bit, too, before remembering...and had to apologize. I don't mind apologizing to my son....but I've been trying to hold him accountable, so that was a bit sticky.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I had planned to walk, but it was too cold and windy. So I came home to warm up and go to water aerobics, but when I walked up the stairs--Don was teaching downstairs--there was the big Easter basket that was meant for all of my grown children and daughter in law, fiance and girlfriend . Of course, they didn't take to THEIR homes any little chocolate eggs--they left them for the boys who live here! Right! Anyway, I kind of went crazy for a few minutes! So I'm mad at myself now. If I stop now, I won't gain any weight back, so I'm announcing that I am stopping....NOW! I'm watching the Biggest Loser and then going to bed. Check in on me tomorrow!

Our old dog....and another flat tire!

Today Don took Charlie to be groomed and the two of us went to pick him up. He's getting really old. Most of the hair he has now is gray, but he still loves looking out the window. He climbs as high up as he can get and sticks his head way out the window. Now that the kids are moving out, getting married, etc., Charlie values all of the attention Don and I give him. He's always loved anyone who will pay attention to him....and we all love him. He's 13 years old, but he still acts like a puppy.

Don and I went to Bull Run Park and walked, and Don played Frisbee golf. I had ANOTHER flat tire yesterday on the way to church. Again, I didn't feel it. I thought the alignment was off on my car. That is the fourth flat I've had since summer. This time dry rot caused the flat, and my tires were supposed to be new--they have tread still. So Goodyear replaced it free of charge! I'm just thankful I wasn't out with Little Man when I had the flat. Don and I went to pick up Steve for church in Sterling yesterday, because the clutch is out on his car. I knew the car wasn't handling right, but I didn't know the tire was flat. Someone on the shuttle told me. So we rode home with Chris and Cam after church and then took Don's car back to change the tire.

Don didn't get to go to the graveside service for Bob Saturday, so I took him over to see the grave. I loved it that Bob chose to be buried in a plain casket with a cross on top. That says everything about what Bob valued in life, I think.

Three Days and God's Grace

I believe this past weekend will end up being a defining moment in many people's lives. I know it was in mine. I have been profoudly affected by Bob's life....and by Tresa's faith, love and strength. And I know that God is the One to be praised for those things. Bob's life was celebrated even as all of our hearts were broken by his loss and the loss for Tresa and their children. Bob's and Tresa's family anf friends, our church family and Bob's FBI family joined together to give praise and glory to God, who worked mightily in Bob's life--as He wants to do in all of our lives. That is what Bob wanted. I will never forget Bob's life or his funeral for the rest of my life.

God and I had an experience together this weekend....I have been dealing with many things...and in the three days I spent with God in prayer, in study and in praise, God put me in a place of peace and confidence in His love and in His willingness to work in me and in my family. He is taking my burdens from Me, and I want to thank Him and praise Him for that.

Also, I'm still in awe at the demonstrations of God's love in the entire weekend. Darla Robinson came home from her mother's funeral and immediately gave herself in service in Bob's funeral. She is God's servant. Lisa Girourard gave herself in every aspect of planning and serving during the entire process of preparing for Bob's funeral. Cindy Jeter, Teresa McCain, Lynn Belknap,Ellyn Sergio,Lisa Bosley, Bruce Black, Angelia Hennesey and others gave endlessly and tirelessly to make everything happen--when they were exhausted, hurting emotionally and sick (in Bruce's case) and in extreme pain (in Lisa's case). People traveled from all over the world to be here. Bruce Chadwick used the "gift" of his progressive and physically debilitating illness to minister to our brother, who had to face his own physical debilitation unexpectedly. Bruce knows what it is like to want to run and be active but instead have to be helpless when your body goes through a sudden decline. Only Bruce could befriend Bob in that way. I am in awe. This love does not happen outside of Christ. I am in awe of my Heavenly Father and His love for us--that He loved us so much that He gave His only Son--so that we might not perish but have everlasting life....as Bruce spoke about Sunday. I was sitting with my dear family--with two missing, one because he was at his own church with his fiance and one because he didn't want to be there--and I was surrounded by the love of my family and the love of God and the love of my church, knowing that my Heavenly Father, the Creator of everything, loved all of us so much that He gave His ONLY Son...so that we could be with Him forever. How could I ever ask for more?

Focusing on Him for three days

I want to let you know, I won't be blogging until Sunday. I have been praying and I am convinced that I need to take the next three days and dedicate my time to God, praying for Bob's family, and praying for my own. I'm also going to be praying for our church family. The point is, I believe God is leading me to take the focus off of myself for the next three days and focus on Him--relying on Him, and praying.
I will be holding myself to my committment with my eating and exercise, and I will let you know on Sunday night if I honored that. I just am not going to spend time on the computer doing this until Sunday night. God bless you all, and I hope everyone has a blessed and special Easter, especially those who I won't be seeing to spend the holiday with. God bless you, and thank you for reading my blog and encouraging me. You'll never know what it means to know you are out there in cyberspace helping me change something, with the help of God, that has been holding me back for a lifetime. Jerri

When it rains......

It was really good to be with our church family tonight. It was so good to come in on a Wed. night and see so many there, on purpose, to help get things ready for two funerals and Easter. Bruce's choice of songs and scripture for the devotional were perfect, and everyone was so warm and loving, helpful to each other. That's the way families are supposed to be--pulling together, being there for each other. It's always been that way with our church family. I don't know what we would ever have done without it. I don't know what people do without that kind of love and caring on a large scale. We should never take it for granted.

On a pathetic note, today I was standing in the checkout line at the commissary at Ft. Belvoir when I noticed a book: The Complete Idot's Guide to Healthy Relationships! Alrighty then.......have we stooped SO low as a culture....that we need the advice of a self-proclaimed "complete idiot"? Uh, I guess I'm the idiot....rereading the title....the book is written FOR the complete idiot, who wants to have a healthy relationship! OH! Alrighty then..... No, I didn't buy the book! (I was re-reading the title in my brain--I'm not a COMPLETE idiot!)

Pray for Don to get the right job for him--evidently the financial analyst 2 job wasn't the right one. They want to submit him on some more jobs, but as of right now, Don is planning to transfer over as a security officer. He has to train on automatic weapons and some others. He may have to work a night shift again for a while, but he will retain his seniority. Also, pray about another decision we have to make....when it rains, it pours...literally, I guess,judging by today. The rain felt right with everything going on.

He cares!

Okay, so this is the reason I write my blog....and I'm not going to make excuses. I didn't even try with my diet after about three today. It started with two pieces of left over carrot cake with Don, which didn't put me over by much, but then I ate meat at dinner (I've been eating a vegetarian diet) and I didn't exercise. I also ate rice and green beans (not much and only half of a pork chop.) But later I ate cashews and five crackers and two slices of cheese. It is 1:50 in the morning, and I'm stopping....and I'm not starting to eat like that tomorrow. It doesn't help that I'm feeling really down today for several reasons, but I've already proven to myself that food doesn't really help. I also have been avoiding my Bible all day. I'm not mad at God, but I just don't want to go there. Which means I need to. So I am. I'll post again tonight. If anyone else is feeling sad and down, let's all draw near to God so that He will draw near to us. He is the only answer, and He cares.

Goodbye for Now......

Probably by the time I wrote my blog last night, our dear brother, Bob Roth, had gone to be with God. I didn't find out until this afternoon, but I woke up during the night several times last night and prayed for Bob and Tresa. I know why Paul's friends cried when they realized they wouldn't see his face again. I feel that way about Bob. The last time I got to talk to him was at the elders' reception. He was hopeful that he would make it then. He said that the doctors couldn't find any cancer in his body at that time, and he was resting on that. I told him I was glad to hear he was "resting". I had been waiting to talk to him, because so many people were around him. I'm glad I was able to talk to him again, because I won't get to see his face again until I get to Heaven. I'm sure there will be a crowd around him there too! :)

I remember a lot of things about Bob. I remember him being a teen worker when my boys were teenagers. I remember his testimony about how he used to be an unbeliever and then how he came to faith....his intellectual approach to accepting the gospel. I remember his classes on Christian evidences and The Case for Christ that my son and my husband took together. I remember how brilliantly he shared his faith in God.
I remember he and Tresa taking the youth skiing the first time our oldest son ever went skiing. They came up and told me about their experience with Chris. What they told me didn't surprise me at all.... They said Chris went on the beginner's slope only one time and then took the expert slope the next time. They skiid down after him...and found one ski in one snow bank, one ski in another, hat and gloves and then Chris, slumped in the snow under a tree. They got him all together and brought him home, just a little sore.

I remember the year Bob and Karin Kerby were chosen by the youth group to speak at the senior banquet. I remember Bob talking about his relationship with Tresa and how much they loved each other, and how they had waited a long time for their marriage. He encouraged the seniors to wait for marriage and to marry a person who loved God first. For years I watched Bob and Tresa bring their babies into worship, and I have always loved seeing them become great parents. When I was first finding out I have lupus, Bob asked me every week how I was doing, and he told me that he and his daughter were praying for me. I knew they were, too.

Then I decided Bob was an angel one day when he and Tresa rescued me and my kids off of 66, when I had a flat tire and couldn't get the lug nuts off of our van on the way home from Camp WAMAVA. Tresa took a few of the kids home and Bob waited with me and the boys until the tire was changed and rode back to Centreville with us. He warned me about how dangerous it was to be broken down on the side of the road.

Then, on 9/11, Bob was a comfort to our congregation. Seeing him calmly sitting in worship with his family, made us feel safer. I looked for them every Sunday.

Throughout his ordeal with cancer, Bob has been faithful, wanting to glorify God with what he was experiencing. He has been an example of courage and faithfulness, and so has Tresa. His children have a legacy of faith that they will be able to remember throughout their life. We need to be there for them and Tresa, as Bob has always been there for our children and our congregation.

We have a great cloud of witnesses, as my friend Becky has said. Bill Edwards, Helen Baither,Chris Baither, Margie Hampton, Betty Bridges,Sarah Bergquist, Dave Callerman, Carmello Caffi, Tim Keesling....and others whose faces I can see in my mind....and now our brother Bob Roth....all spending time with Moses, and David, and Paul, and Peter....and Jesus. It is amazing...sad for everyone today....but awesome for Bob! Let's pray and be there for Tresa and the children.

A Sad Day...with hope for eternity...

Today was a sad day for us at church. The focus was on worship and Heaven, but all of us were thinking and praying for Bob, Tresa and the children. One of their children is in my Bible class, and we talked about the resurrection of Christ in class. We talked a lot about eternal life. We hope that our lesson was comforting to our little friend. The children were all talking and praying about Bob in Prayer Circles too. Little Brennan Schwamb asked us to pray for his sister, and he told me something technical that was wrong with her lungs. I said, "That must be scarey." He answered, "It is until you get used to it!" (Brennan is in the 1st grade.) I am amazed at how children can word things simply and efficiently when we adults struggle to express ourselves.....of such is the kingdom of Heaven.

Then, tonight, we heard Darla Robinson's mom died. It was expected, but it never really is when your mom dies. Pray for Darla, too.

Bob is now in the hospital in hospice care. Pray for all involved--that God will be glorified. That is Bob's and Tresa's wish.

Cooking and Conner

Today I cooked all day getting ready for a get together at our friends Grace and Roland's house. I love going to their house, because it is so warm and friendly, relaxed and cozy. I love getting together with them and the Kerns who were in our original small group. Now we only meet once in a while, but whenever we do, it's great. Tonight we brought Conner with us, because we had agreed to watch him this evening for Chris and Cameron while they went over to friends' house. We all passed him around. He loved it. Now it's Spring break, so I won't see them until next Sunday for Easter. That's weird. I'm used to seeing them most days.

I'm going to turn my house upside down, then turn it inside out and then back rightsid in and upside right....and then baby proof it and paint it--all in one week.

The only exercise I got today was cooking and carrying Conner around. I need to do more tomorrow...I missed two days of exercise. I ate well though.

Still praying for Bob and Tresa and their kids. Bob's port came loose, so they had to take him to the doctor yesterday. That's the last thing I heard.

Have a blessed Lord's Day tomorrow.

Don and I took Conner home and then spent some time with Chris and Cameron. We really enjoyed that time with them. They are really enjoying being Conner's mom and dad. It's a great thing to see your kids grow up and be good parents. I'm really tired, so I'm going to bed early again tonight.

Last Night's Post

I didn't post last night, because I needed to spend some time with Don and didn't want to be on the computer. He's supportive and patient with me being occupied with my weight loss efforts, and he's even changed his diet, but sometimes he needs his wife's attention. Go figure! :)

I did a killer water aerobics work-out last night. It was good, but I was really tired afterward and I had to eat dinner. I still ate the right type of food, but I have been skipping dinner to make my morning blood sugars lower. Well, when I woke up this morning, my blood sugar was lower than it has ever been in the morning! So I may do like I did last night and eat a small supper after exercising at night.

Don and I have been praying about so many intensly important needs lately....in our family and in our church family. The most important has been concerning Bob and Tresa and their children. I don't know how to talk about them apart from praying....thank God that this life is just a shadow of the life to come. This life can be so painful for everyone....and joyful.

Speaking of joyful, our Little Man is 6 months old, and he is so sweet! (Not to sound like an old repetitive Grandma....or maybe that IS the point.) He has been on his little rainbow quilt on the floor behind me rolling around on his back holding onto his little red socks and crowing, "BABABABABABABA!" Now he's starting to fuss! Gotta go!

Shoes and Grandma's hands

Today was an awesome day with Little Man. He was adorable, as usual. He was smiley and "talkative". His new words are, "BA BA BA BA BA BA" when he's playing "MA MA MA MA MA MA" when he's hungry, I think. And "NA NA NA NA NA NA"! Of course, I could choose to interpret the "NANA" as Grandma, loosely translated! :) Whatever he is saying, it is cute as anything and makes me want to "eat him up"! He likes to stand up (with my support) and so I sit in my rocking chair with him standing on my lap, singing "Wipe out" while Conner "Grandma surfs!" I rocked him and sang to him a long time this morning, and then I put him down in his crib/play pen with his toys while I made lunch. He was "BA_BA_BAing" and then I didn't hear him anymore, so I went to check on him and found him fast asleep! (Usually during the day he sleeps in my arms--my earlier report that he mostly sleeps with Chris and Cam was erroneous--he mostly naps with Cam during the day but sleeps entirely on his own in his own little crib at night.) I cleaned the entire second level while he slept and got two loads of laundry washed. He woke up and went back to his "BA BA BA"game, and didn't even cry! So I went to get him, change him and feed him. He was happy the whole day today....he's usually happy, but doesn't usually sleep on his own. I was proud of him.

Another funny thing he did was notice Granddad's really white, velcro, (nerdy) new Dr. Scholl's shoes--he knows they're nerdy. They are only for walking comfortably.
Conner was staring at Don's shoes, looked over at my shoes and then looked at his feet over and over again. He was figuring SOMETHING out! :) He also looked at my hands and then his hands over and over today. I imagine he was thinking "Old Hands!" "New Hands!" I remember my grandmother's hands. She worked hard in her garden and her house, and she had "no nonsense" nails and wrinkled hands. I think I have my grandmother's hands these days. I remember my "new" hands....just seems like yesterday (but it wasn't). I need to post pictures. Don says he has a book to show me how to download from our camera. I promise they are coming.

God made us family!

It is such a blessing to be part of God's family at Fairfax. Everyone who has emailed me or spoken to me on the phone says the same thing....Bob and Tresa and their children are on their minds, in their hearts and in their prayers all day long.
The first time I realized the bond that God creates in the hearts of people who love Him and give their lives to Him was when Don and I had our oldest child. We didn't think anyone knew much about what we were going through. I had to be hospitalized twice--the second time for 12 days, and we had no medical insurance. I had worked to pay the few days I was supposed to be in the hospital for--and then I went into premature labor, and had to be hospitalized early. Then I had pre eclampsia and ended up having an emergency C section after a long labor. There were doctors everywhere that we owed, and we had only been married 15 months--and were college students. We didn't tell anyone...but the church gave us a wonderful baby shower, the college students collected money for a money tree, and at Christmas when Chris was a couple of months old, some of our friends came in with bags and bags of groceries, baby supplies and gifts from anonymous friends who signed the card "Santa Clause!" We were so shocked that we were speechless (NOT normal for me!) and both of us cried. The same type of thing happened when Don was critically ill twice in one year back in 1999 and 2000. In between those times countless things were done for us...and we are just one family! I'm just sharing this to say that we are family to one another, and we aren't the ones who decide to be family. It is a miraculous heart change that happens when we become children of our Heavenly Father.
That is why we are filled with sadness and burdened by the suffering of those we love. We can mourn with those who mourn, and we can rejoice with those who rejoice--as they enter the eternity we have been promised--because Our Father creates love for one another in our hearts. Praise our loving Heavenly Father, who is love Himself.

Blessed be the tie that binds.....and Dizzy Day

It was gratifying to receive so many prayers concerning our brother Bob in my email today. It solidified in my heart that we are truly a family in Christ. We are so different in so many ways, but we all have the same Heavenly Father and He binds us together in ways that no man made institution could ever do. That alone could convince me that God is who He says He is. God is love. We humans cannot manufacture what He has put into our hearts...the bond He creates is stronger than any bonds mankind creates.

I am sure that anyone who is reading my blog who knows Bob and Tresa Roth have been in prayer today for them. Don and I are praying for them whenever we get the chance. God is love, and I am praying that He fills their hearts and minds with Him and His love....that casts out all fear.

I had a very sudden drop in blood pressure today which made me wake up extremely dizzy....and I stayed that way until late afternoon. My blood pressure was 122/55, which is really low for me. I think it was the result of me exercising so much and not eating dinner last night, and not drinking enough water with my evening medicine.
I have been skipping dinner because of a book I have been reading about curing diabetes, written by a doctor who has a clinic out in Oklahoma. My morning blood sugars, which are normally my highest, have been going down, but the dizziness this morning made me rethink my plan. I had a bowl of soup and a salad and a piece of whole grain bread for dinner tonight, and I feel much better. I also may need to cut out one of my blood pressure pills. I'm going to talk to my doctor about that.
I'd like to come off of all of my medicine, but it's going to take time.

Our dear brother.....

I can't write about anything but our dear friend and brother Bob, his beautiful, sweet wife Tresa and their five adorable children. I just found out, as many people did, in church this morning that Bob is in hospice care right now. I know Bob and Tresa are trusting God. I know that without anyone telling me, and I don't get to talk to them that often. It's just always been obvious to me by the life they live among us. They are quiet servants, giants in faith. I do not understand many many things in life, and I don't understand what is happening to Bob--maybe biologically--but not in any other way. I just know this. Bob and Tresa have always trusted God with their lives, and they are trusting Him now. How can we do otherwise in the face of such faith and in light of what God has already done, I cannot comprehend.

How do we pray for Bob? I think we pray as we always have for him--that God will be glorified and that He will comfort Bob and Tresa and the children (their family, too). We pray and we serve as much as we can, if not the Roths right now, we serve anyone who is in our lives. How do we talk about such suffering and maybe tragedy?
With hope, like the Bible says, knowing that a better life in Heaven awaits us all.

Loss is the part of this life that makes us long for Heaven. While we are here, let's remind each other that our hope is in Jesus Christ. That is what Bob and Tresa have been doing all along! Having said all of that....I still don't understand.

Last Art Class....

We finished our final project in art class today, and I am happy to say our instructor decided to form an intermediate oil/acrylic painting class out of our class, because so many of us were interested in it. I am just not ready to paint nudes yet So, I'm going to intermediate oil painting class.
I came home right after class, and Don and I met at the library and then we walked two miles together after that. We were going to go to a movie, but when we came home to drop off his car, we noticed no one was home, and home was cozy, so we stayed home and watched Annie Hall. Neither of us had ever seen it, as unbelievable as that is! We laughed a LOT!

All in all, it's been a great day! I'm going to spend my break actually painting what I want to paint--probably our house! :)

Friends

I'm doing much better after a couple of bumpy days this week. I had a great talk with my buddy, Lisa. She and I have some of the same issues;although, she is tall thin and beautiful--and a very good public speaker. But we share some common human frailties, or rather the willingness to admit the frailties that everyone has, to each other. I think being able to share the good and the not so good, not to mention the ridiculous and the hilarious things that happen in life is what makes a good friend. I'm thankful God moved Lisa and Tim next door to us! It is so NOT a coincidence that they are our neighbors. When Sharon and Gary moved out I prayed that God would send us neighbors who would either be Christians or who we could influence for Christ. Not only are they Christians, but Tim is a minister at New Life Christian church, and Lisa is a very talented writer and public speaker. Tim is an artist and a comedien, and all of their kids are talented in music and drama. Our son goes to church with them, and their sons and mine are friends....and we have all had a profound effect on each others' lives. It's never by coincidence or human effort that such things happen...I am thankful God blessed our families with each other.

I need to get to bed early so that I feel well enough to go to my last art class tomorrow. Have a great weekend!

Dealing with things.....

Hopefully I am over the insanity of the past couple of days. I'd like to blame it on my cold, but I'm pretty sure that only caused the fatigue I've been having. I am definitely an emotional eater, and I've always thought that--but only when I'm really trying to live my committment am I certain of it.

Having realized that, I have been working on the many things that were on my mind this week. I can talk about a few of them here. Don's job is changing. We won't really know how much until right before their contract is due to end or be renewed.
Rumor has it that someone else got the bid, but other rumors have it that his company has retained the contract. Stressful not to know.... Also, Don has been hired by a sub contractor and now the prime contractor for a job he REALLY wants , but we have been waiting for over a week to hear if they will hire him. Some other people were submitted as well. We have been praying about this for a long time, and we know God has our best interest at heart, so we are both reminding each other to trust God, because He has always led us in the best direction.

I miss having my boys at church with us. There are a lot of factors that go into this, but having Conner with us at church last week made me realize how much I miss seeing all of my family together at worship. They all have their own reasons for worshipping elsewhere or not worshipping right now. I have a lot of feelings about that, too, but I respect their right to decide. But as a mom, I miss my family being together worshipping God on Sundays. Last Sunday, as I held Conner up so he could see what was going on, it was "deja-vu all over again"! How many times did I do that with my baby boys over the years? I always loved having them with me in church. I was and am so proud of my 4 boys--how many people can say they have 4 boys? :)Sundays were always special days, and even when Don would go away on trips with the band, as long as everyone was well, the boys and I made our pilgrimage down 295 and the Baltimore-Washington parkway from Bolling AFB to University Park Church of Christ three times a week...and then, after we moved here, to Fairfax. Sometimes I was up and down so many times with one boy or another that I wondered if I did any good at all coming to church, and many times older women told me how great a job I was doing and how wonderful it was that I showed up to worship God--that I was making a lasting impression on my boys. I hope so. I know many times I was frantically looking around for keys or shoes at the last minute.....hurrying everyone up, stressed. I wonder how pleasant that was for the boys, especially the older ones? Later, when I first got sick with lupus and didn't feel like going to church on Wed. nights, I would end up going anyway, because one or more of the boys would say, "We HAVE to go to church! We have agape group!" I think mothers everywhere must ask themselves what they could have done better and they may have mental lists like I do. I just pray that God's loving grace erases any negative influence we have had on them and that they remember the fun times we had driving down 295 singing at the top of our lungs! But, hey, that could be one of the not-so-good memories with me singing! :) Anyway,today I'm completely ready to keep going with my program--God's grace is awesome! I want to prove to everyone who knows I depend on Him to help me, that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength! Pray for me!

Malfunctions

I couldn't blog yesterday, because several things went wrong. First of all, my computer kept getting knocked offline. I thought something was wrong with it, but I think it was my Cox Internet service, because our phone kept crackling all day, and today my computer is working fine. Also, all of the fatigue and joint pain I've been having is because I was coming down with something. I started feeling sick last night and by bedtime I realized I have a virus of some sort. Anyway, I didn't calculate calories or exercise yesterday, but I am today. I'll post again tonight.

The good news is I am having a good day with eating and may do some exercise this evening if I feel better, even if it's just walking.

Tomorrow is a new day!

For anyone who is watching my blog, I did horribly today! I had a great day until after I dropped off Conner, and I came home tired--I was tired all day and instead of resting I kept pushing myself to get more done! I was very hungry and my blood sugar was low. I didn't think, or calculate, I just ate a snack and then another....I ate as I made dinner and I ate dinner! I'm also too tired to exercise, so I'm not. I'll start over tomorrow. It was officially my worst day on (off) of my program! I'm not going to kick myself over it, but neither am I going to repeat it.

Spring is Coming!

Don and I walked in the park today, and it was such a beautiful day! We walked to get away from the phone and to exercise. Actually before we walked, Don played frisbee golf while I did my Bible study and had my time with God. It was nice to do that outside today. I do feel that I am becoming more dependent on God and less dependent on myself. I still ate too many calories today, because we went out to eat and I didn't follow my Sparkpeople for lunch and dinner. It's really not worth it to eat out anymore. Everything is always more fattening than when we prepare it at home. I made Don and me some healthy popcorn last night that Don liked as well as unhealthy. I used a little olive oil and butter flavored powder to season it. Don is going to let me start counting his calories and exercise on Sparkpeople. He doesn't want me sharing about it on my blog....so that's all I'm going to say about that! I will tell you that Don can drop 20 lbs. just by deciding to--just about that fast. I like it that he can do that as much as it frustrates me, because I want him to be around for a long time.

Today was a really great day at worship, made even more so by the fact that Conner joined us for worship service. It required quite a bit of scrambling on my part, though, because Don was singing with the miced singers, so I did all of the running around with my Big Little Man myself during church, that is. I was WORN OUT by the time we finished lunch--there is a reason that young people have babies and not us old fogies! I teach Bible class and have a prayer circle, so I had to leave services early to plug Conner into the baby security system. I have to admit it was easier leaving him in cradle roll knowing I was the only one who could pick him up! And it was obvious that he was well loved while he was there! He loved seeing other babies, and was looking every which direction as we carried him around to see whose new face was going to pop into view next. It was wonderful to Don and me to have our church family loving on our grandson. It makes us know that we are in the right place--where our family can give and receive the love of Christ!

Don and I planned to go to our small group today, but after we dropped off Conner, we went back home and went to sleep and didn't even wake up until 5:30. I have been sleep deprived for several days, so I know why I slept so soundly. We'll have to catch next month's pot luck. Don and I walked for three miles after our nap, but I was still worn out.

Denise Manahan was honored at church today, which was well deserved. She has done so much to feed the hungry in our community and has been very resourceful, using our teens to serve the needy. Giving purpose to our youth and everyone else is a great gift.

It was also wonderful to get to meet Becky Sundling, Grace and Roland's daughter. I have been wanting to meet her for a long time. She is just beautiful....like her mom...and obviously a sweet person like her parents. It was great to meet Becky.

I hope you all have a great week! Thanks for reading my blog and encouraging me! :)

A Fun Day

Today was my second day following the Spark People plan, and I didn't find it hard at all! And another good thing was my blood sugar reading was excellent tonight--lower than it has been in a very long time.

Art class was lots of fun, and it seems like this class has passed more quickly than the last one. My last class is next week. After that I think I am going to take a figure painting class with my same teacher. She suggested that I take that class. I still am not sure about it, because it cuts into my time with Don in the afternoon, but if he gets his job, then he will be off all day on Saturday anyway.

A surprising thing was that there was a St.Patrick's Day parade in Old Town Alexandria today, so I had a lot of company walking today. I hope there are muscles that get a good work out when dodging people. I got an excellent book on diabetes and an Eric Carle book to read to Conner. The diabetes book I heard about on my way to art class this morning on 91.9 radio, a show called Break Away that I listen to every week. Today they were talking about a book called The Diabetes Miracle Cure...Curing Diabetes in 30 Days. It's about the best possible diet and exercise for diabetes. Speaking of that I need to get to bed. We are taking Conner to church with us tomorrow.

Submitting

I have always had a stubborn streak in me. I think I can do things my way better, and this is true especially about losing weight. Except that I obviously can't do it my way and progress.(Or why do I NEED to lose 100 lbs?) So I have decided to submit to the expertise of the people who design the diet on Sparkpeople. I am going to do it their way and see if I might build enough success that I don't rationalize my way out of believing I can reach my goal this year.

Today I cooked by the recipes on my Spark Nutrition page, and I ate what was on my program and stayed within my calories for the day. I think this will be good for me spiritually as well. it frees my mind up to think about other things, and I don't even have to write a grocery list. I made a chicken/asparagus salad tonight with mashed potatoes and vegetables....sounds gross but it was good. The chicken/asparagus salad had curry and yogurt in it. The recipe was on Sparkpeople. Don loved it, so I think we'll be doing dinners this way. Maybe both of us will get healthier.

My Bible study was on I Cor. 9 about giving today. I'll write about it tomorrow...it was an enlightening study.

The Prime contractor submitted Don to the gov. for consideration, along with some other people, so we'll see. We should find out next week.....exercise in patience!
Pray for the right thing to happen......have a blessed weekend. See some of you Sunday!

Preparing for March

Okay, I've decided I'm stupid about calories, and I THOUGHT I was so smart! I have been happily typing in 3 oatmeal cookies from McDonalds about twice a week and they've been popping up as 189 calories on my sparkpeople website, and today I discovered they are over 200 calories apiece! We won't even talk about the Macadamia nut cookies from Subway! I had those today with my dinner, and let's just say, without them, I would have been under my calorie limit for the day! SO I've decided to let Sparkpeople plan my meals for me and see if I lose any more than the 2 lbs. I lost in Feb., when my goal was 10! I've lost 14 lbs. total, which isn't bad, but I can do better, and I will. Actually, I feel pretty good about getting in reality about my calories and about giving the responsibility of planning my meals to the professionals. That way I won't start telling myself silly things like I must be different from the rest of the world and unable to lose large amounts of weight. As much as I have been working out, I should have at least lost 10 lbs. in Feb. I'm sure it was because of mistakes like I made with the cookies. I just typed in "oatmeal cookies" NOT McDonald's oatmeal cookies. Today I noticed they had Subway cookies specified, so I typed them in and was shocked--AFTER I had eaten them. The sad thing is I did really well all day long, and even on dinner. I just really underestimated the calories in those cookies. I eat an ounce of mac. nuts every so often, and they are 170 calories....and good for you....not to mention good!

Anyone out there who will pray for us, we really would appreciate prayers. Don really wants a job that he applied for a while back. We thought they had hired someone else, but tonight when I checked email, there was an email from the contact with the subject matter "Great news" and it said "Don, call me as soon as possible."
So we are hoping this is a yes answer to our prayer about Don's job. He also applied for a job in DC that paid a LOT more, but this is the one that he wanted, because it's closer to home. Both of us were hesitant for him to apply for the one in DC, but the recruiter really wanted him to apply. So he did, and he got down to the last 3 candidates, but Don thinks they hired someone else. We were both kind of relieved. This one is a longer contract plus it is so close to home that Don could ride his bike there.

Also, please pray that I will stick with the Spark plan. People have lost hundreds of lbs. with this plan. I really want to lose my 10 lbs. for March and the six I didn't lose for Feb. in March.

I had a great Bible study today....kind of an epiphany for me. I was reading a scripture that said, "The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of Heaven and earth and does not live in temples made by hands. And He is not served by human hands, as if He needed anything, because He himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. (From Acts 17) I was puzzling over this scripture--if God doesn't need us to serve Him, then why does He keep us here after baptism--serving Him? Then I realized something probably everyone else already knows, but it was an epiphany for me....He wants us to serve Him, because WE need to serve Him. Because that is the only way we can partake of Christ's nature and become like Him...relate to Him as a brother....and relate to God as children...is by becoming a servant like Jesus. Simple and I'm sure I should have known this already...but enlightening to me. God could raise up stones from the ground to proclaim His name, but He uses us so that we can have a relationship with Him and Jesus....I think. What does anyone else think about that? (I'm assuming people are reading my blog, but Mike Miller does that....so I decided to take a chance.) Actually, people keep telling me they are reading my blog, and I really appreciate knowing you're out there, whether or not you leave comments. It keeps me honest. (Okay, I have been eating McDonald's oatmeal cookies more than twice a week....)

Bed Time...

I'm really tired, and my computer, both my PC and my laptop, are SLOW even though we have high speed internet, so I am not going to write much. I had a really good workout and did okay with my eating. I met a new young woman at water aerobics tonight, named Agnes, from Hungary....no, I'm not hungry....you get the idea. She is really nice and seemed to be looking for a friend. She may be someone God sent my way. She is the same age as Chris and Cam. Conner is teething and not feeling very well. I held him a lot today too, but that was okay....I don't mind snuggling up with a cute little baby. Don's off tomorrow, so we both will get to snuggle up with him. I'm going to bed.

Happy Birthday, Cameron!

I did badly with my eating today, and it was unintentional. It's easy to see why I am overweight. I didn't calculate calories until dinner time. I ate all healthy food, but just too much, even though I didn't think I had overeaten. I was really hungry today for some reason. I need to count as I go. I was also tired all day long, and sometimes I eat too much when I am tired. I haven't had a day to rest for quite some time. I think if I got enough rest, I wouldn't have days where I overeat.
Or maybe I would....it's the same problem of thoughtless eating. In this case, I wasn't eating in between meals, but I didn't figure out my calories before eating my meals. I need to be intentional about keeping on top of my calories all day long.

Conner was fussy quite a bit today. He was fine as long as I was holding him......hmmmm....I put him down for a moment so that I could go to the bathroom, and he thew a FIT! His face turned purple he was so mad! I just kind of stared at him, trying to figure out the change. Cameron told me that his new thing is that he won't sleep unless he is in bed with them. Ohhhhhh.....that explains it.

Speaking of Cameron...today was her birthday! She is a wonderful daughter in law, a wonderful wife to my son and an awesome mommy to our grandson! I am thankful God brought such a wonderful woman into our family! I know Christopher is, too. Happy Birthday, Cam!

A Funday Monday with Hubby

Don and I had one of our best funday Mondays ever! Don needed to get his contacts from Walter Reed, and neither of us wanted to drive all of the way over there, so we decided to take the metro together. Don left me at Metro Center and got on the Red Line to go to Walter Reed, and I got off the Smithsonian stop to go to the National Gallery of Art. I went to the French exhibit and spent several hours there while I waited for Don to join me. I really had a wonderful time, talking to people whether they liked it or not. :) Art really fascinates me! I learn almost as much from looking at paintings as I do from my art class! I am so thankful God has given me this opportunity at this time in my life--Don has developed more of an interest in art, too, because I'm so interested in learning more about it. He lets me go on and on about it, and it was his idea to go to the National Gallery of Art today. That's what I love about Don--he's always involved in what I do or what the boys do! He thinks about ways he can help us. He's a great husband and a great father....just a great person in general.

After we met up and finished at the museum,we watched the ice skaters, and then we walked to Union Station and had dinner. Then we rode the Metro back to Vienna and came home. Both of us are really tired, but we had a really fun day--we laughed a lot, and talked a lot. We hope to do it again soon. I only saw about a tenth of the museum.

A Wonderful Day of Worship and Praise

Today was an awesome day! It was a family celebration today at worship service as new elders were installed. I knew God was at work when the announcement was made that Rick Baither, Paul Wert and Jeff Robertson would be our new elders. I know Rick and Paul very well,and their faith and love for God have been obvious over the years, and, listening to them speak today, it was obvious that Jeff and his wife Phyliss love the Lord, too. Worship services were uplifting and there was a feeling of close family unity like I felt several years ago....a feeling of new beginning. Sometimes we need those.

Don sang with the singers today, and I sat beside him, trying to aim my voice away from the mic. Sometimes amplifying my voice is not a good idea. I have been hoarse for several weeks now....something to do with lupus I think.

Nancy, Rick Baither's sister, and Brandon, Rick's son were there today at the celebration. I used to hang out with both of them before Rick's mom died. Helen was one of my mentors in life. I still think of things that she told me when I was going through a really hard time in life. I think of Rick and Nancy as my brother and sister even more, because Helen was like a mom to me. I'm sure she and her husband Chris are in Heaven, very proud of Rick...and Nancy for that matter. Both of them are reflections of the love Chris and Helen had for the Lord.

Don and I joined the small group at the building tonight. We have been trying to decide what we were going to do for a while now. For some time we thought we might join our neighbors at New Life Christian church, because our son worships there, and that church does outreach in our neighborhood. We thought we might be more effective in outreach closer to home, perhaps encouraging our other sons to attend there as well. But Fairfax is more than the church where we worship--it is our family. We could never walk away and not know about our Fairfax family week by week.

Also, I really appreciate the leadership that we have at Fairfax. It is obvious by the things that they do and say, the countless meetings and prayer sessions, and the earnestness of their desire to please God in dealing with problems among us, that our leaders are seeking truth and wisdom. It makes me feel secure seeing their self discipline and their humility--it gives me condfidence that I can follow them as they follow Christ. Don and I both feel very resolute in our decision to stay where we are and to serve the Lord in whatever way He gives us at Fairfax. We think, as in Acts 18, God has decided the time that we should live in and the exact location where He would use us in His service. That is exciting, because God only knows what He will do in our lives next!

I got the chance to talk with Bob Roth, our friend who has multiple myeloma. I am always so amazed and inspired by his faith. Bob and Tresa have been my heroes for a long time, even though they are about ten years younger than Don and I are. Their faith and love for God during such an enormous trial even as they are raising their 5 beautiful children....and the love of their families for them...all of it has touched my heart....and has strengthened my faith and cemented my belief that we "can do all things through Christ who gives us strength."

I was way too tired to exercise today. We stayed late at church and then went back for small group....and closed up the building, so I'm just going to do an extra hard workout tomorrow. I did okay with food...didn't eat at the reception....just talked. :)

Okay I'm not even saying WHAT I ate to get my calories up to 1932 today! I didn't overeat--I just ate stupid food! I had lunch out fast food--NEVER a good idea. I was hungry and didn't feel like having a salad. I should have had a sandwich BEFORE heading to the commissary, but I ended up going through a VERY BAD drive through. Other than that I had a great day and will have a great evening with hubby as soon as I get off the computer and go downstairs. Does it count that I was very good at dinner time? (With a smarter lunch, I would have had under 1500 calories.) Oh well, it was good--stupid but good. Better tomorrow!

By the way, art class was awesome! We are doing a painting that will have me up at night thinking about it. We have a full color palette, and every single object in the still life is a different shade of white!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! But we all had fun
beating our heads against our easels! :)

Day Off--but not really!

I had a really good day with my program, because I accomplished a lot on my "day off". School was cancelled, so Cam took care of Conner. I missed him, but I got a lot done. I got a lot of things done, and I spent a lot of time on my Sparkpeople website. It is so helpful, because it teaches you correct ways to take care of your health. I am doing so much better. It also has motivational strategies and meal planning. There are support groups for everything imaginable and it's just plain fun. I love it. Thanks Cam and Jaime for letting me know about the site. For those of you who are interested, it is a free weight loss website. You go to Sparkpeople.com and just sign up.

I really respect something Jaime said on her Sparkpage. She said that she really wants to be intentional and responsible about healthy eating and exercise. I was thinking about the idea of being intentional. I think that fits into what I have discovered about the problems I have had with thougtless eating. God is intentional. He intentionally loves us, He planned for us--all the way to planning to send His Son because He knew we would sin and not be able to keep the law. I also want to be intentional....not only with responsible health habits, but also with reaching out to people and loving others. Intent is a powerful thing....it has to do with will....in the case of Christians, surrendering our will intentionally.
I am going to ask God to show me where in my life I need to be more intentional....and less thoughtful. Tomorrow is ART DAY--yippeee! Have a great weekend! :)

A great day! Thank You!

Well, today was a fantastic day calorie wise and just in general. Conner and I went to pick up my medicine and then went by the church and visited with my old coworkers at Stepping Stones Preschool, where I worked for the past 8 years until I decided to stay home with Little Man. I saw a lot of my old students, too, and got to see friends in the office. I miss everyone, but I love what I'm doing.

I took Conner home and bathed him, just in case any flu germs were on him. Then Lisa came over and we listened to New Life Live....part of it. While I took Conner home, I talked to Grace on the phone, and after I took him home, I went to water aerobics and worked out really well. As you can see, my calories were way down. I think part of the reason is I avoided eating carbs, and I wasn't hungry. I am going to try that for a while. My blood sugar was great too!

Check out Sparkpeople.com anyone who might be interested in a fantastic site for resources to help you meet health/weight loss goals. I'm loving it!

Let My yes be YES! and my no be NO!

Matthew 5:33 33"Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.' 34But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; 35or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. 36And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

Half of my Bible study this morning was a meditation on this verse. I talk BIG. I always mean what I say, but sometimes I'm all talk and no consistant action. I want the year I hope that I am blessed by God to devote to this life long problem I have had with weight--I want this year to be about me saying "Yes." to God and "No!" to sin....wherever I see the need to say "Yes,Lord." and "NO!"to sin. That's all I'm going to say about that, because any more than that could be coming from the evil one! :)


38"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'[g] 39But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

Do not resist an evil person.....I remember only a few times in my life when I have come across someone who I thought was truly evil. One time there was a visitor in our home when Chris was a baby. He came to stay with us until he could find a job, and I came around the corner one day to see about Chris, who was crying, and found this evil person with his hand raised to strike my baby! He was about a foot taller than I was and a big muscular guy. I think I literally grew a foot and a half, and I know my whole countenance said "ATTACK!" not merely "resist" I told him that he'd better NEVER raise his hand to my child again, and he LAUGHED at me! Don and I told him to leave our home and never come back. I don't think that is what that verse is talking about. I think it's saying that we have something to offer the evil people in the world.....and we should use our material goods to willingness to serve to take the power out of the hands of evil people. If I willingly give up something to someone who demands it from me, then not only am I being meek, but I am saying that even the evil person is worthy of being loved. What I took away from this study today, though, was that I shouldn't judge with whom I will and will not share my faith. I have a tendency to shy away from certain kinds of people....I really am afraid of really assertive, people who appear derisive about Christians, especially if I sense a bad temper brewing underneath a facade of confidence. I know I'm being cryptic, but God and I know what I'm working on. Jesus doesn't want us to shrink away from evil, he doesn't want us to be afraid, and if we obey Jesus and don't resist evil people when they need our help, or demand it, then we can show them that God loves them. Love is more powerful than evil, because God is love.

What does this have to do with my weight? Fear has been a big part of my life. And I've always thought about myself as needing to be big to protect myself from evil people who might come along. But it's a paradox, because my weight prevents me from running away as fast as I might if I wasn't heavy. From a very young age, I went through scenarios in which I might be threatened with harm by someone intimidating and scarey and tried to come up with strategies to avoid being hurt or killed--and to protect my brother. I grew up knowing the world was a scarey place, and it took me a long time to realize that just because you hear about harm coming to someone, doesn't mean that me or someone I love will become a victim. And also, I'm really not powerful enough or smart enough to anticipate coming into contact with evil and preventing myself or others from being hurt or killed. I have dealt with that knowledge by just trusting God to protect me, but then bad things happen to people who love God, too. So, it was kind of a relief to see what Jesus had to say....about not resisting evil people. I don't think he meant for us to allow harm to come to ourselves or others if we can prevent it, but we don't have to be live in fear. Anyway, that's what I got out of those verses.

Back on track!

Well, today was completely different, because I apent my time with God today! I was starting to flake out about going to the gym and already setting myself to waste the
day, and I sat myself down and had my Bible study and prayer, asking for God's help.
He strengthened my resolve and, I went to aqua conditioning tonight which is a really tough class that burns many many calories. We never stop moving the entire class. I'm falling asleep as I type though, so this will be short. I'll write more tomorrow.

Still Floundering

I'm still floundering around with my diet. I didn't even track my food today, but I was busy doing a home project all day. I didn't exercise either. I told Don to kick me out of the house tomorrow night if I haven't exercised by the time water aerobics class starts at 7. I've been doing Spring cleaning all weekend, but I'm not using that as my excuse....except I didn't eat breakfast until 12 noon today, because I was cleaning out our bedroom drawers and closets. Bad planning on my part. And I made Mexican cassarole for dinner, which I'm not sure how to count. I imagine I didn't go over by much, but Don is waiting for me to watch a movie with him, so I'm just skipping calculating tonight. I will be back on track tomorrow.

Time to Regroup

I'm still having problems with finding time to exercise, so I'm going to have to go back to my original committment to exercise every day no matter what. I have to do the same thing with my Bible study. I have been getting a lot done around the house and with my painting and writing, and of course, during the week, I spend most of my day taking care of Conner. But I am making a promise to myself that beginning tomorrow I will exercise at least 6 days a week, no excuses, and I will spend my best time with God every day.

Having said all of that, I had another stressful day today. Tomorrow I am promising myself to exercise and do my Bible study and just relax the rest of the day....doing something to renew my energy. I am kind of weary, and that's a sign I'm trying to accomplish too many things at once, and relying too much on myself. Time to regroup.

Looking forward to Sunday

I had a really good art class today, and then I went grocery shopping, and my day kind of went downhill from there. It wasn't any one thing, but just a lot of small stressful events that added up to a stressed out Jerri. Thankfully, I didn't eat over it....just talked it out, and I'm finishing up the day well under 1500 calories. I didn't get to exercise, and that would have helped the stress, but it didn't happen. I also didn't have my Bible study, which also would have helped. I am going to bed and study my Bible....and get 8 hours of sleep, hopefully, which I haven't done all week. Tomorrow is a new day--and Sunday!

Baby Handprint and Footprint Hearts

Conner and I had a busy day today. I cleaned and cleaned, moving Little Man around from room to room with me. As long as I kept talking to him, he was happy. He dosed but not for long. He was happy all day. I took a picture of him in a cute little outfit I bought him for Valentine's Day, and I'm determined to download my softwear and get some pictures online. I'll have to make a promise or it won't happen. I'll promise by Monday, I will post some pictures.

Conner and I made Valentines for his mommy and daddy. By the way, it is a LOT harder to make tempera paint hand and footprints on a 5 month old than it is on a 4-5 yr. old! His little hands still want to be fists. I kind of pried open the fingers, painted on the tempera paint, tackling his arm with one hand and pressing it to the card BEFORE he could get a fistful of tempera paint in his little mouth. Then I washed the hand and started over with the other one. For the footprints, I stripped him down to his diaper and sat him in his baby bathtub. I painted his feet, one at a time, and then pressed the card to his feet, one at a time. I made one card (with the hands) for Mommy and the other (with the two feet) for Daddy. Then I traced my own hands on the front and back of a card and drew a heart in the middle with a picture of Conner on the heart....my card to Conner. Whew! I should have burned more than 1200 calories on THAT project. I'm going to bed! Tomorrow is Art Day! :)

Happy Valentine's Day

I hope you had a nice Valentine's Day. I did. I got to take care of my Little Man all day and then go out to dinner with my Big Man tonight. I really appreciated Don taking me out for dinner, considering he taught until 7:45 and has to get up at 5:30 tomorrow morning! He gave me a dozen pink roses and a BIG heart shaped balloon and a beautiful card. I bought him a new dress ( for me) and a new nightgown (for me) and some sugar free Weight Watchers chocolates (for him) and some other personal items (for him), and 3 cards. We had a wonderful time. We went to Eggstravaganza and had a Valentine's special....we both had chicken Chesapeake, which was a chicken breast with crab and a delicious sauce and noodles. This time we DID have calamari, and we shared a dessert (cherry cheesecake); although, I only had a few bites and left the rest for Don. I don't feel bad about it at all....I think I ate around 2500 calories for the day, but I will make up for it tomorrow. I would have exercised, but my side was still hurting today and I still didn't feel well. Also, Little Man wanted to be entertained all day long and a friend of mine decided to come see us this afternoon, so I was kind of rushing around all day. Nathan was home, because he got shocked at work yesterday with 277 volts! His arm was sore, and he had a migrane. He woke us up at 3 this morning, and I was wanting to take him to the ER, but he didn't think he needed to go. (Did I mention that I really don't like my son working with electricity...he's in the electrical union as an apprentice.) Since I was up for about an hour giving Nathan medicine for his migrane, I was really glad I went to sleep before 9 last night. Also, our little poodle, Charlie, got sick today, too....ugh! That's all I have to say about that.

Our son, Don, bought some beautiful flowers for his beautiful fiance, Elise, and some candy. Then our son Nathan bought some flowers for his beautiful girlfriend, Katie. It was kind of fun tonight--I usually buy candy for the boys, too, but they all had girls to take out...so I was able to give Don all of my attention. I did buy a cute little outfit for Little Man and he and I are going to do something special for his mommy and daddy tomorrow. There was definitely romance in the air at our house tonight--and after shave! :) Back on the horse tomorrow with the diet and exercise! Check in and see if I keep my promise!

REALLY Tired Tonight

I was too tired again tonight to go to water aerobics. I'm thinking I may be having a lupus flare up. I did do some aerobic dancing today, but it wasn't long enough. I usually have plenty of energy to exercise at night, so I'm not sure what is wrong.
I'm going to bed early.

Don bought me roses and a BIG heart shaped balloon for Valentines day....and some chocolate-cherry Diet Dr. Pepper. He is really sweet to me. I'll check in tomorrow night.

"OPEN THE EYES OF MY HEART, LORD" :O

I JUST got home from dropping off Little Man, and it's 8:02. There were six cars upside down in a ditch between Centreville and Gainesville, and police cars and ambulances everywhere. Don told me to go home on 66, and there were accidents there too! I felt like kissing the ground when I got home, but it was too icy! :) Chris and Cam wanted me to turn around and go back home and they were going to come pick up Conner, but I couldn't figure out how to do that with the BAD traffic , so I just kept on going down the road. Hopefully schools will at least be delayed tomorrow morning. All of my family is safe, so far, so I'm going to cozy up with Don and watch The Biggest Loser--if he will watch it with me. He hates the music to that show.

Pray for Don....people are wanting to interview him all over the place, but we still don't know what is happening with the other contract, and that's the one he really wants. He told me yesterday that he will probably take the first job he's got a solid offer for, because we've been praying so much about this. I'm sure the right one will come along.

I had a really good Bible study last night, and it was several hours long, because I did my Ladies' class lessons too, and then I didn't end up going to Ladies' class. I had to pick up medicine in Fairfax, and I wanted to vote. I was a little nervous about driving Conner around in the ice, but he slept like a baby. But then he was wide awake and wanting to be entertained ALL DAY LONG! I kept moving him from one apparatus to another....from his bouncy seat with a mobile, to his exercise mat with a lot of toys that I just bought him last night, to his crib with a mobile and some stuffed animals, to his swing, then to Uncle Don who came home from work, and then Granddad who came home from work....and finally I gave in and camped out on the couch with him on my lap, and played. That was more fun than vacuuming and doing laundry anyway! I sure hope he's not getting spoiled! I guess that is what Grammies are for! He was great during our marathon commute home tonight. I always turn up 91.9 and we "sing" all the way to Gainesville. I don't know--maybe he was playing like he was asleep in hopes that Grandma would STOP singing. Well, I'd better go downstairs with Don. I didn't get to do H20 aerobics tonight because of the ice, but I want to do some kind of exercise, and Don was glad I was home, so I don't want to be on the computer. Stay safe!

A new day.....

I had a better day with eating today, but I still need to get back on track with my focus. I didn't do my Bible study first thing this morning, but I'm going to do it before I go to bed tonight. I do much better if I work out in the morning and do my Bible study first thing. On Don's day off, I usually sleep in a little and don't get to my reg. routine until later in the day. I don't think that's a bad thing, but I really have to put a lot of effort into eating properly when I'm not in my regular routine.

Today we bought Don a suit for his interview this week with a company that has offered him a really good position. The job is in DC, but the pay is really good. Everything is going to have to really be good for Don to be willing to commute into DC. I personally hope that the other job goes through. Don really hates commuting, and since his retirement, he's only had to drive 15 minutes away. I'd rather he make less money and be happy with his schedule. Pray that the right thing happens.

Les, Don's older brother, let us know that his great grandson was taken to the hospital with 106 temp today. He is back home now. He has the flu. They put him on ice in the ER and got his temp back down. Les' son Leslie Jr. is going back to Iraq with his company heading up a project there. Pray for Leslie's safety and for Les' great grandson, Ethan.

I'm going downstairs to finish my workout and Bible study. Tomorrow I plan to start the day out with both of those things. Thanks for your prayers and encouragement.

Poor Planning....and Thoughtlessness

I did some thoughtless eating today, and it set me up for too many calories. I ate half a bagel for breakfast, and although it was whole grain, it is too many carbs for my morning. Then I ate high fiber crackers at Bible Class when I gave snack to the kids--using up more calories. Then we went out for lunch, and my calories were okay....but a little on the high side for lunch. Then I kept eating here and there, and here I am. I have been cleaning all evening, and I am about to go downstairs and do some kind of exercise. I am tempted to just do it over tomorrow, but I don't want to do that, because that attitude is too easy to repeat. I also am going to do my Bible study along with my Lose It for Life book. That always inspires me.

I was kind of feeling bad about some of the talking I did about my "weight loss program" today at church. I spoke to a couple of friends who have weight concerns and told them what I was doing, without really listening to them and without saying how much God has been helping me. I was pretty thoughtless in my talking about it, too. (Thoughtlessness and not being careful to give God the credit for what He has been changing in my life also sets me up to mess up my own discipline.) It wasn't very loving of me to talk about myself when my sisters were going through their own struggles not only with weight but bigger issues. God is absolutely the only reason I have been able to stick to my program, and I need to acknowledge Him every time someone says a kind word to me. My Bible study with my kindergarteners this morning was from Jesus' Sermon on the Mount where He said, "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt has lost its saltiness what is it good for? It is only good to be thrown on the ground and trampled under foot.....You are the light of the world.....let your light so shine before men that they may see your good deeds and give glory to your Father in Heaven." I need to keep that verse before me. God is my Strength. Tomorrow will be a better day, as long as I give it to Him.

A Nice Saturday....Again

Today was a fun day at art class, and I did a really interesting painting. I also spoke with an artist about using limited color palettes for quite some time. I went for a walk at Meadowlarke,which was fun. I did great with my eating, and went to a really bad movie with Don...I chose it....we had to walk out, because it was terribly violent. I thought it was a scarey murder mystery with Diane Lang, who I like, but it was sadistic and horrible (Untraceable), so we left and went to see The Eye, which was okay...still scarey but we could watch it. I am starting to think most movies aren't worth seeing. Maybe I'm getting old.
I also got my hair cut--Don likes it but thinks it's too short. I do too, but I still like it. The boys are away, so I'm outta here....going to spend time with hubby.