To be completely honest, I am as embarrassed as I have ever been to be posting this blog January 1, 2010. I could take the comfortable, treacherous, option of wallowing in frozen inertia and self-hate, but what would that accomplish? Here I am, Jan.1st, 5 lbs. lighter than I was last Jan. 1st, having gained back most of what I lost last year! I am not about to make promises. Apart from the power of God to change me, I have no hope of keeping promises. I have proven that once more. But, this is NOT me feeling sorry for myself. This is me sucking it up, getting back up on my chubby feet, and starting all over again! What else can I do? Give up? Read my lips. NEVER! To give up is to accept the fact that I will be following my dad on a short trip to the grave. My family deserves more from me than that! To give up is to toss aside the Ultimate power of the Holy Spirit, who raised Jesus Christ from the dead. Can He not raise me, too....regardless of how much I weigh.
I am finished eating my sorrow. I am finished eating my pain. I am finished burying my feelings under mounds of my own flesh! My Heavenly Father is able to understand my brokenness, The Great Comforter can soothe my pain, He can cope with the waves of emotion that I think I hold at bay, but really just stuff! The truth is, I am a mess on my own. I need redemption....every day. I am no different than you, however. We are all broken, and we all need redemption--every day.
Goals will follow. I need the structure. I'm not making any promises this year...only setting goals. I am starting this year, humbled by the last, hopeful for the future, because of Jesus and His love for me!
Friday, January 01, 2010
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