Submitting

I have always had a stubborn streak in me. I think I can do things my way better, and this is true especially about losing weight. Except that I obviously can't do it my way and progress.(Or why do I NEED to lose 100 lbs?) So I have decided to submit to the expertise of the people who design the diet on Sparkpeople. I am going to do it their way and see if I might build enough success that I don't rationalize my way out of believing I can reach my goal this year.

Today I cooked by the recipes on my Spark Nutrition page, and I ate what was on my program and stayed within my calories for the day. I think this will be good for me spiritually as well. it frees my mind up to think about other things, and I don't even have to write a grocery list. I made a chicken/asparagus salad tonight with mashed potatoes and vegetables....sounds gross but it was good. The chicken/asparagus salad had curry and yogurt in it. The recipe was on Sparkpeople. Don loved it, so I think we'll be doing dinners this way. Maybe both of us will get healthier.

My Bible study was on I Cor. 9 about giving today. I'll write about it tomorrow...it was an enlightening study.

The Prime contractor submitted Don to the gov. for consideration, along with some other people, so we'll see. We should find out next week.....exercise in patience!
Pray for the right thing to happen......have a blessed weekend. See some of you Sunday!

Preparing for March

Okay, I've decided I'm stupid about calories, and I THOUGHT I was so smart! I have been happily typing in 3 oatmeal cookies from McDonalds about twice a week and they've been popping up as 189 calories on my sparkpeople website, and today I discovered they are over 200 calories apiece! We won't even talk about the Macadamia nut cookies from Subway! I had those today with my dinner, and let's just say, without them, I would have been under my calorie limit for the day! SO I've decided to let Sparkpeople plan my meals for me and see if I lose any more than the 2 lbs. I lost in Feb., when my goal was 10! I've lost 14 lbs. total, which isn't bad, but I can do better, and I will. Actually, I feel pretty good about getting in reality about my calories and about giving the responsibility of planning my meals to the professionals. That way I won't start telling myself silly things like I must be different from the rest of the world and unable to lose large amounts of weight. As much as I have been working out, I should have at least lost 10 lbs. in Feb. I'm sure it was because of mistakes like I made with the cookies. I just typed in "oatmeal cookies" NOT McDonald's oatmeal cookies. Today I noticed they had Subway cookies specified, so I typed them in and was shocked--AFTER I had eaten them. The sad thing is I did really well all day long, and even on dinner. I just really underestimated the calories in those cookies. I eat an ounce of mac. nuts every so often, and they are 170 calories....and good for you....not to mention good!

Anyone out there who will pray for us, we really would appreciate prayers. Don really wants a job that he applied for a while back. We thought they had hired someone else, but tonight when I checked email, there was an email from the contact with the subject matter "Great news" and it said "Don, call me as soon as possible."
So we are hoping this is a yes answer to our prayer about Don's job. He also applied for a job in DC that paid a LOT more, but this is the one that he wanted, because it's closer to home. Both of us were hesitant for him to apply for the one in DC, but the recruiter really wanted him to apply. So he did, and he got down to the last 3 candidates, but Don thinks they hired someone else. We were both kind of relieved. This one is a longer contract plus it is so close to home that Don could ride his bike there.

Also, please pray that I will stick with the Spark plan. People have lost hundreds of lbs. with this plan. I really want to lose my 10 lbs. for March and the six I didn't lose for Feb. in March.

I had a great Bible study today....kind of an epiphany for me. I was reading a scripture that said, "The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of Heaven and earth and does not live in temples made by hands. And He is not served by human hands, as if He needed anything, because He himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. (From Acts 17) I was puzzling over this scripture--if God doesn't need us to serve Him, then why does He keep us here after baptism--serving Him? Then I realized something probably everyone else already knows, but it was an epiphany for me....He wants us to serve Him, because WE need to serve Him. Because that is the only way we can partake of Christ's nature and become like Him...relate to Him as a brother....and relate to God as children...is by becoming a servant like Jesus. Simple and I'm sure I should have known this already...but enlightening to me. God could raise up stones from the ground to proclaim His name, but He uses us so that we can have a relationship with Him and Jesus....I think. What does anyone else think about that? (I'm assuming people are reading my blog, but Mike Miller does that....so I decided to take a chance.) Actually, people keep telling me they are reading my blog, and I really appreciate knowing you're out there, whether or not you leave comments. It keeps me honest. (Okay, I have been eating McDonald's oatmeal cookies more than twice a week....)

Bed Time...

I'm really tired, and my computer, both my PC and my laptop, are SLOW even though we have high speed internet, so I am not going to write much. I had a really good workout and did okay with my eating. I met a new young woman at water aerobics tonight, named Agnes, from Hungary....no, I'm not hungry....you get the idea. She is really nice and seemed to be looking for a friend. She may be someone God sent my way. She is the same age as Chris and Cam. Conner is teething and not feeling very well. I held him a lot today too, but that was okay....I don't mind snuggling up with a cute little baby. Don's off tomorrow, so we both will get to snuggle up with him. I'm going to bed.

Happy Birthday, Cameron!

I did badly with my eating today, and it was unintentional. It's easy to see why I am overweight. I didn't calculate calories until dinner time. I ate all healthy food, but just too much, even though I didn't think I had overeaten. I was really hungry today for some reason. I need to count as I go. I was also tired all day long, and sometimes I eat too much when I am tired. I haven't had a day to rest for quite some time. I think if I got enough rest, I wouldn't have days where I overeat.
Or maybe I would....it's the same problem of thoughtless eating. In this case, I wasn't eating in between meals, but I didn't figure out my calories before eating my meals. I need to be intentional about keeping on top of my calories all day long.

Conner was fussy quite a bit today. He was fine as long as I was holding him......hmmmm....I put him down for a moment so that I could go to the bathroom, and he thew a FIT! His face turned purple he was so mad! I just kind of stared at him, trying to figure out the change. Cameron told me that his new thing is that he won't sleep unless he is in bed with them. Ohhhhhh.....that explains it.

Speaking of Cameron...today was her birthday! She is a wonderful daughter in law, a wonderful wife to my son and an awesome mommy to our grandson! I am thankful God brought such a wonderful woman into our family! I know Christopher is, too. Happy Birthday, Cam!

A Funday Monday with Hubby

Don and I had one of our best funday Mondays ever! Don needed to get his contacts from Walter Reed, and neither of us wanted to drive all of the way over there, so we decided to take the metro together. Don left me at Metro Center and got on the Red Line to go to Walter Reed, and I got off the Smithsonian stop to go to the National Gallery of Art. I went to the French exhibit and spent several hours there while I waited for Don to join me. I really had a wonderful time, talking to people whether they liked it or not. :) Art really fascinates me! I learn almost as much from looking at paintings as I do from my art class! I am so thankful God has given me this opportunity at this time in my life--Don has developed more of an interest in art, too, because I'm so interested in learning more about it. He lets me go on and on about it, and it was his idea to go to the National Gallery of Art today. That's what I love about Don--he's always involved in what I do or what the boys do! He thinks about ways he can help us. He's a great husband and a great father....just a great person in general.

After we met up and finished at the museum,we watched the ice skaters, and then we walked to Union Station and had dinner. Then we rode the Metro back to Vienna and came home. Both of us are really tired, but we had a really fun day--we laughed a lot, and talked a lot. We hope to do it again soon. I only saw about a tenth of the museum.

A Wonderful Day of Worship and Praise

Today was an awesome day! It was a family celebration today at worship service as new elders were installed. I knew God was at work when the announcement was made that Rick Baither, Paul Wert and Jeff Robertson would be our new elders. I know Rick and Paul very well,and their faith and love for God have been obvious over the years, and, listening to them speak today, it was obvious that Jeff and his wife Phyliss love the Lord, too. Worship services were uplifting and there was a feeling of close family unity like I felt several years ago....a feeling of new beginning. Sometimes we need those.

Don sang with the singers today, and I sat beside him, trying to aim my voice away from the mic. Sometimes amplifying my voice is not a good idea. I have been hoarse for several weeks now....something to do with lupus I think.

Nancy, Rick Baither's sister, and Brandon, Rick's son were there today at the celebration. I used to hang out with both of them before Rick's mom died. Helen was one of my mentors in life. I still think of things that she told me when I was going through a really hard time in life. I think of Rick and Nancy as my brother and sister even more, because Helen was like a mom to me. I'm sure she and her husband Chris are in Heaven, very proud of Rick...and Nancy for that matter. Both of them are reflections of the love Chris and Helen had for the Lord.

Don and I joined the small group at the building tonight. We have been trying to decide what we were going to do for a while now. For some time we thought we might join our neighbors at New Life Christian church, because our son worships there, and that church does outreach in our neighborhood. We thought we might be more effective in outreach closer to home, perhaps encouraging our other sons to attend there as well. But Fairfax is more than the church where we worship--it is our family. We could never walk away and not know about our Fairfax family week by week.

Also, I really appreciate the leadership that we have at Fairfax. It is obvious by the things that they do and say, the countless meetings and prayer sessions, and the earnestness of their desire to please God in dealing with problems among us, that our leaders are seeking truth and wisdom. It makes me feel secure seeing their self discipline and their humility--it gives me condfidence that I can follow them as they follow Christ. Don and I both feel very resolute in our decision to stay where we are and to serve the Lord in whatever way He gives us at Fairfax. We think, as in Acts 18, God has decided the time that we should live in and the exact location where He would use us in His service. That is exciting, because God only knows what He will do in our lives next!

I got the chance to talk with Bob Roth, our friend who has multiple myeloma. I am always so amazed and inspired by his faith. Bob and Tresa have been my heroes for a long time, even though they are about ten years younger than Don and I are. Their faith and love for God during such an enormous trial even as they are raising their 5 beautiful children....and the love of their families for them...all of it has touched my heart....and has strengthened my faith and cemented my belief that we "can do all things through Christ who gives us strength."

I was way too tired to exercise today. We stayed late at church and then went back for small group....and closed up the building, so I'm just going to do an extra hard workout tomorrow. I did okay with food...didn't eat at the reception....just talked. :)

Okay I'm not even saying WHAT I ate to get my calories up to 1932 today! I didn't overeat--I just ate stupid food! I had lunch out fast food--NEVER a good idea. I was hungry and didn't feel like having a salad. I should have had a sandwich BEFORE heading to the commissary, but I ended up going through a VERY BAD drive through. Other than that I had a great day and will have a great evening with hubby as soon as I get off the computer and go downstairs. Does it count that I was very good at dinner time? (With a smarter lunch, I would have had under 1500 calories.) Oh well, it was good--stupid but good. Better tomorrow!

By the way, art class was awesome! We are doing a painting that will have me up at night thinking about it. We have a full color palette, and every single object in the still life is a different shade of white!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! But we all had fun
beating our heads against our easels! :)

Day Off--but not really!

I had a really good day with my program, because I accomplished a lot on my "day off". School was cancelled, so Cam took care of Conner. I missed him, but I got a lot done. I got a lot of things done, and I spent a lot of time on my Sparkpeople website. It is so helpful, because it teaches you correct ways to take care of your health. I am doing so much better. It also has motivational strategies and meal planning. There are support groups for everything imaginable and it's just plain fun. I love it. Thanks Cam and Jaime for letting me know about the site. For those of you who are interested, it is a free weight loss website. You go to Sparkpeople.com and just sign up.

I really respect something Jaime said on her Sparkpage. She said that she really wants to be intentional and responsible about healthy eating and exercise. I was thinking about the idea of being intentional. I think that fits into what I have discovered about the problems I have had with thougtless eating. God is intentional. He intentionally loves us, He planned for us--all the way to planning to send His Son because He knew we would sin and not be able to keep the law. I also want to be intentional....not only with responsible health habits, but also with reaching out to people and loving others. Intent is a powerful thing....it has to do with will....in the case of Christians, surrendering our will intentionally.
I am going to ask God to show me where in my life I need to be more intentional....and less thoughtful. Tomorrow is ART DAY--yippeee! Have a great weekend! :)

A great day! Thank You!

Well, today was a fantastic day calorie wise and just in general. Conner and I went to pick up my medicine and then went by the church and visited with my old coworkers at Stepping Stones Preschool, where I worked for the past 8 years until I decided to stay home with Little Man. I saw a lot of my old students, too, and got to see friends in the office. I miss everyone, but I love what I'm doing.

I took Conner home and bathed him, just in case any flu germs were on him. Then Lisa came over and we listened to New Life Live....part of it. While I took Conner home, I talked to Grace on the phone, and after I took him home, I went to water aerobics and worked out really well. As you can see, my calories were way down. I think part of the reason is I avoided eating carbs, and I wasn't hungry. I am going to try that for a while. My blood sugar was great too!

Check out Sparkpeople.com anyone who might be interested in a fantastic site for resources to help you meet health/weight loss goals. I'm loving it!

Let My yes be YES! and my no be NO!

Matthew 5:33 33"Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.' 34But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; 35or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. 36And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

Half of my Bible study this morning was a meditation on this verse. I talk BIG. I always mean what I say, but sometimes I'm all talk and no consistant action. I want the year I hope that I am blessed by God to devote to this life long problem I have had with weight--I want this year to be about me saying "Yes." to God and "No!" to sin....wherever I see the need to say "Yes,Lord." and "NO!"to sin. That's all I'm going to say about that, because any more than that could be coming from the evil one! :)


38"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'[g] 39But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

Do not resist an evil person.....I remember only a few times in my life when I have come across someone who I thought was truly evil. One time there was a visitor in our home when Chris was a baby. He came to stay with us until he could find a job, and I came around the corner one day to see about Chris, who was crying, and found this evil person with his hand raised to strike my baby! He was about a foot taller than I was and a big muscular guy. I think I literally grew a foot and a half, and I know my whole countenance said "ATTACK!" not merely "resist" I told him that he'd better NEVER raise his hand to my child again, and he LAUGHED at me! Don and I told him to leave our home and never come back. I don't think that is what that verse is talking about. I think it's saying that we have something to offer the evil people in the world.....and we should use our material goods to willingness to serve to take the power out of the hands of evil people. If I willingly give up something to someone who demands it from me, then not only am I being meek, but I am saying that even the evil person is worthy of being loved. What I took away from this study today, though, was that I shouldn't judge with whom I will and will not share my faith. I have a tendency to shy away from certain kinds of people....I really am afraid of really assertive, people who appear derisive about Christians, especially if I sense a bad temper brewing underneath a facade of confidence. I know I'm being cryptic, but God and I know what I'm working on. Jesus doesn't want us to shrink away from evil, he doesn't want us to be afraid, and if we obey Jesus and don't resist evil people when they need our help, or demand it, then we can show them that God loves them. Love is more powerful than evil, because God is love.

What does this have to do with my weight? Fear has been a big part of my life. And I've always thought about myself as needing to be big to protect myself from evil people who might come along. But it's a paradox, because my weight prevents me from running away as fast as I might if I wasn't heavy. From a very young age, I went through scenarios in which I might be threatened with harm by someone intimidating and scarey and tried to come up with strategies to avoid being hurt or killed--and to protect my brother. I grew up knowing the world was a scarey place, and it took me a long time to realize that just because you hear about harm coming to someone, doesn't mean that me or someone I love will become a victim. And also, I'm really not powerful enough or smart enough to anticipate coming into contact with evil and preventing myself or others from being hurt or killed. I have dealt with that knowledge by just trusting God to protect me, but then bad things happen to people who love God, too. So, it was kind of a relief to see what Jesus had to say....about not resisting evil people. I don't think he meant for us to allow harm to come to ourselves or others if we can prevent it, but we don't have to be live in fear. Anyway, that's what I got out of those verses.

Back on track!

Well, today was completely different, because I apent my time with God today! I was starting to flake out about going to the gym and already setting myself to waste the
day, and I sat myself down and had my Bible study and prayer, asking for God's help.
He strengthened my resolve and, I went to aqua conditioning tonight which is a really tough class that burns many many calories. We never stop moving the entire class. I'm falling asleep as I type though, so this will be short. I'll write more tomorrow.

Still Floundering

I'm still floundering around with my diet. I didn't even track my food today, but I was busy doing a home project all day. I didn't exercise either. I told Don to kick me out of the house tomorrow night if I haven't exercised by the time water aerobics class starts at 7. I've been doing Spring cleaning all weekend, but I'm not using that as my excuse....except I didn't eat breakfast until 12 noon today, because I was cleaning out our bedroom drawers and closets. Bad planning on my part. And I made Mexican cassarole for dinner, which I'm not sure how to count. I imagine I didn't go over by much, but Don is waiting for me to watch a movie with him, so I'm just skipping calculating tonight. I will be back on track tomorrow.

Time to Regroup

I'm still having problems with finding time to exercise, so I'm going to have to go back to my original committment to exercise every day no matter what. I have to do the same thing with my Bible study. I have been getting a lot done around the house and with my painting and writing, and of course, during the week, I spend most of my day taking care of Conner. But I am making a promise to myself that beginning tomorrow I will exercise at least 6 days a week, no excuses, and I will spend my best time with God every day.

Having said all of that, I had another stressful day today. Tomorrow I am promising myself to exercise and do my Bible study and just relax the rest of the day....doing something to renew my energy. I am kind of weary, and that's a sign I'm trying to accomplish too many things at once, and relying too much on myself. Time to regroup.

Looking forward to Sunday

I had a really good art class today, and then I went grocery shopping, and my day kind of went downhill from there. It wasn't any one thing, but just a lot of small stressful events that added up to a stressed out Jerri. Thankfully, I didn't eat over it....just talked it out, and I'm finishing up the day well under 1500 calories. I didn't get to exercise, and that would have helped the stress, but it didn't happen. I also didn't have my Bible study, which also would have helped. I am going to bed and study my Bible....and get 8 hours of sleep, hopefully, which I haven't done all week. Tomorrow is a new day--and Sunday!

Baby Handprint and Footprint Hearts

Conner and I had a busy day today. I cleaned and cleaned, moving Little Man around from room to room with me. As long as I kept talking to him, he was happy. He dosed but not for long. He was happy all day. I took a picture of him in a cute little outfit I bought him for Valentine's Day, and I'm determined to download my softwear and get some pictures online. I'll have to make a promise or it won't happen. I'll promise by Monday, I will post some pictures.

Conner and I made Valentines for his mommy and daddy. By the way, it is a LOT harder to make tempera paint hand and footprints on a 5 month old than it is on a 4-5 yr. old! His little hands still want to be fists. I kind of pried open the fingers, painted on the tempera paint, tackling his arm with one hand and pressing it to the card BEFORE he could get a fistful of tempera paint in his little mouth. Then I washed the hand and started over with the other one. For the footprints, I stripped him down to his diaper and sat him in his baby bathtub. I painted his feet, one at a time, and then pressed the card to his feet, one at a time. I made one card (with the hands) for Mommy and the other (with the two feet) for Daddy. Then I traced my own hands on the front and back of a card and drew a heart in the middle with a picture of Conner on the heart....my card to Conner. Whew! I should have burned more than 1200 calories on THAT project. I'm going to bed! Tomorrow is Art Day! :)

Happy Valentine's Day

I hope you had a nice Valentine's Day. I did. I got to take care of my Little Man all day and then go out to dinner with my Big Man tonight. I really appreciated Don taking me out for dinner, considering he taught until 7:45 and has to get up at 5:30 tomorrow morning! He gave me a dozen pink roses and a BIG heart shaped balloon and a beautiful card. I bought him a new dress ( for me) and a new nightgown (for me) and some sugar free Weight Watchers chocolates (for him) and some other personal items (for him), and 3 cards. We had a wonderful time. We went to Eggstravaganza and had a Valentine's special....we both had chicken Chesapeake, which was a chicken breast with crab and a delicious sauce and noodles. This time we DID have calamari, and we shared a dessert (cherry cheesecake); although, I only had a few bites and left the rest for Don. I don't feel bad about it at all....I think I ate around 2500 calories for the day, but I will make up for it tomorrow. I would have exercised, but my side was still hurting today and I still didn't feel well. Also, Little Man wanted to be entertained all day long and a friend of mine decided to come see us this afternoon, so I was kind of rushing around all day. Nathan was home, because he got shocked at work yesterday with 277 volts! His arm was sore, and he had a migrane. He woke us up at 3 this morning, and I was wanting to take him to the ER, but he didn't think he needed to go. (Did I mention that I really don't like my son working with electricity...he's in the electrical union as an apprentice.) Since I was up for about an hour giving Nathan medicine for his migrane, I was really glad I went to sleep before 9 last night. Also, our little poodle, Charlie, got sick today, too....ugh! That's all I have to say about that.

Our son, Don, bought some beautiful flowers for his beautiful fiance, Elise, and some candy. Then our son Nathan bought some flowers for his beautiful girlfriend, Katie. It was kind of fun tonight--I usually buy candy for the boys, too, but they all had girls to take out...so I was able to give Don all of my attention. I did buy a cute little outfit for Little Man and he and I are going to do something special for his mommy and daddy tomorrow. There was definitely romance in the air at our house tonight--and after shave! :) Back on the horse tomorrow with the diet and exercise! Check in and see if I keep my promise!

REALLY Tired Tonight

I was too tired again tonight to go to water aerobics. I'm thinking I may be having a lupus flare up. I did do some aerobic dancing today, but it wasn't long enough. I usually have plenty of energy to exercise at night, so I'm not sure what is wrong.
I'm going to bed early.

Don bought me roses and a BIG heart shaped balloon for Valentines day....and some chocolate-cherry Diet Dr. Pepper. He is really sweet to me. I'll check in tomorrow night.

"OPEN THE EYES OF MY HEART, LORD" :O

I JUST got home from dropping off Little Man, and it's 8:02. There were six cars upside down in a ditch between Centreville and Gainesville, and police cars and ambulances everywhere. Don told me to go home on 66, and there were accidents there too! I felt like kissing the ground when I got home, but it was too icy! :) Chris and Cam wanted me to turn around and go back home and they were going to come pick up Conner, but I couldn't figure out how to do that with the BAD traffic , so I just kept on going down the road. Hopefully schools will at least be delayed tomorrow morning. All of my family is safe, so far, so I'm going to cozy up with Don and watch The Biggest Loser--if he will watch it with me. He hates the music to that show.

Pray for Don....people are wanting to interview him all over the place, but we still don't know what is happening with the other contract, and that's the one he really wants. He told me yesterday that he will probably take the first job he's got a solid offer for, because we've been praying so much about this. I'm sure the right one will come along.

I had a really good Bible study last night, and it was several hours long, because I did my Ladies' class lessons too, and then I didn't end up going to Ladies' class. I had to pick up medicine in Fairfax, and I wanted to vote. I was a little nervous about driving Conner around in the ice, but he slept like a baby. But then he was wide awake and wanting to be entertained ALL DAY LONG! I kept moving him from one apparatus to another....from his bouncy seat with a mobile, to his exercise mat with a lot of toys that I just bought him last night, to his crib with a mobile and some stuffed animals, to his swing, then to Uncle Don who came home from work, and then Granddad who came home from work....and finally I gave in and camped out on the couch with him on my lap, and played. That was more fun than vacuuming and doing laundry anyway! I sure hope he's not getting spoiled! I guess that is what Grammies are for! He was great during our marathon commute home tonight. I always turn up 91.9 and we "sing" all the way to Gainesville. I don't know--maybe he was playing like he was asleep in hopes that Grandma would STOP singing. Well, I'd better go downstairs with Don. I didn't get to do H20 aerobics tonight because of the ice, but I want to do some kind of exercise, and Don was glad I was home, so I don't want to be on the computer. Stay safe!

A new day.....

I had a better day with eating today, but I still need to get back on track with my focus. I didn't do my Bible study first thing this morning, but I'm going to do it before I go to bed tonight. I do much better if I work out in the morning and do my Bible study first thing. On Don's day off, I usually sleep in a little and don't get to my reg. routine until later in the day. I don't think that's a bad thing, but I really have to put a lot of effort into eating properly when I'm not in my regular routine.

Today we bought Don a suit for his interview this week with a company that has offered him a really good position. The job is in DC, but the pay is really good. Everything is going to have to really be good for Don to be willing to commute into DC. I personally hope that the other job goes through. Don really hates commuting, and since his retirement, he's only had to drive 15 minutes away. I'd rather he make less money and be happy with his schedule. Pray that the right thing happens.

Les, Don's older brother, let us know that his great grandson was taken to the hospital with 106 temp today. He is back home now. He has the flu. They put him on ice in the ER and got his temp back down. Les' son Leslie Jr. is going back to Iraq with his company heading up a project there. Pray for Leslie's safety and for Les' great grandson, Ethan.

I'm going downstairs to finish my workout and Bible study. Tomorrow I plan to start the day out with both of those things. Thanks for your prayers and encouragement.

Poor Planning....and Thoughtlessness

I did some thoughtless eating today, and it set me up for too many calories. I ate half a bagel for breakfast, and although it was whole grain, it is too many carbs for my morning. Then I ate high fiber crackers at Bible Class when I gave snack to the kids--using up more calories. Then we went out for lunch, and my calories were okay....but a little on the high side for lunch. Then I kept eating here and there, and here I am. I have been cleaning all evening, and I am about to go downstairs and do some kind of exercise. I am tempted to just do it over tomorrow, but I don't want to do that, because that attitude is too easy to repeat. I also am going to do my Bible study along with my Lose It for Life book. That always inspires me.

I was kind of feeling bad about some of the talking I did about my "weight loss program" today at church. I spoke to a couple of friends who have weight concerns and told them what I was doing, without really listening to them and without saying how much God has been helping me. I was pretty thoughtless in my talking about it, too. (Thoughtlessness and not being careful to give God the credit for what He has been changing in my life also sets me up to mess up my own discipline.) It wasn't very loving of me to talk about myself when my sisters were going through their own struggles not only with weight but bigger issues. God is absolutely the only reason I have been able to stick to my program, and I need to acknowledge Him every time someone says a kind word to me. My Bible study with my kindergarteners this morning was from Jesus' Sermon on the Mount where He said, "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt has lost its saltiness what is it good for? It is only good to be thrown on the ground and trampled under foot.....You are the light of the world.....let your light so shine before men that they may see your good deeds and give glory to your Father in Heaven." I need to keep that verse before me. God is my Strength. Tomorrow will be a better day, as long as I give it to Him.

A Nice Saturday....Again

Today was a fun day at art class, and I did a really interesting painting. I also spoke with an artist about using limited color palettes for quite some time. I went for a walk at Meadowlarke,which was fun. I did great with my eating, and went to a really bad movie with Don...I chose it....we had to walk out, because it was terribly violent. I thought it was a scarey murder mystery with Diane Lang, who I like, but it was sadistic and horrible (Untraceable), so we left and went to see The Eye, which was okay...still scarey but we could watch it. I am starting to think most movies aren't worth seeing. Maybe I'm getting old.
I also got my hair cut--Don likes it but thinks it's too short. I do too, but I still like it. The boys are away, so I'm outta here....going to spend time with hubby.

.....of rejoicing it will beee!

WHAT A DAY.... Every time I say, "What a DAY!" Don always follows it with, "of rejoicing it will be!" I did have one of those days, though! First off, my sons were off from work getting ready for their annual Polar Bear Camping trip. For some reason it is a manly thing they do every winter....proving to themselves that they can sleep in sleeping bags and a tent in the middle of winter. Don't ask me why, they say I wouldn't understand...it's a guy thing. All I can say is it will be a LONG time before Cameron and I allow Little Man to join the Big Men for this ritual! :) But ummmmm...driving around with Grandma can be just as risky, it turns out..... Mary Jane McGiboney and I were doing a meal thing today for the Roths, and we were driving down a fairly smooth looking road, when I said, "Boy, this road must have a rough surface....do you hear that?" Mary Jane said she was thinking the same thing!
I said, "It can't be a flat tire, because the car is running so smoothly. I would know if I had a flat tire." Mary Jane said that maybe I should pull over and check. So I saw what looked like a gas station and pulled over. It was flatter than any pancake I've ever seen. The nicest men in what turned out to be a truck station, changed my tire for me. I had a huge stroller, several empty glass dishes and other misc. unnecessary things in the back of my car BUT NO JACK! AND NO TIRE IRON! Oh, yeah, did I mention that the last time I had a flat, Nathan rescued me and changed my tire....I guess my jack is now in his car! Anyway, the men had a big jack, and they graciously changed my tire, exclaiming a LOT over how cute Conner is! (My baby
babe magnet, uh, not that these guys were "babes"....but they WERE nice. One of them has a granddaughter Conner's age. We compared notes. The other one lives in Chris and Cameron's neighborhood. My mom told me I shouldn't talk to people....I hope she's wrong.) Anyway, we were back on the road in no time. (The funny thing is that, a long time ago, our friends, Bob and Tresa Roth, rescued me and a car full of kids coming back from Camp WAMAVA when I had a flat tire. They must think we get tires from the junk yard!) I forgot to mention to Mary Jane that after we dropped the food off, we still had to drop off Conner with Cameron. I also forgot that since Chris is on the Polar Bear trip, we would be dropping Little Man off later than usual. Mary Jane won't want to make an adventurous trip with me again! We actually had a lot of fun, and Conner was an angel. Keep praying for Bob, Tresa and the children. They are an amazing and wonderful family.

Also pray for my neighbor, Serge. He has some serious health issues, and today he was taken by ambulance to the hospital. I don't have any other details, but I'll let you know. He is elderly with a drinking problem...and his daughter and her husband have moved in with him.

Don and I are praying about this coming week. He has several opportunities that have come up, one of them really good--for jobs. This week is the week we will have a good idea which job he will have. Pray that God allows us to know the best choice we can make. We have been praying, and it seems like a lot of doors are opening for both of us.

I actually did well with my eating today. The 144 extra calories came from me probably overestimating my sampling what I was cooking today. I am counting every bite I take, because I really want to meet my Feb. goal.

My Salty Day with the Babe Magnet

Today was a really fun day with Conner, and I had a really good day with God. My Bible study was pretty normal....I am still reading and studying the Sermon on the Mount, and I read the part today about salt and light. I thought about what makes me
"salty", and no, I don't mean potato chips! When I know I am trying to please God instead of myself, and when I know that I'm not relying on my own "goodness" but totally relying on God to make something good out of me, then I really feel free to be who God made me. I'm really bland when I'm just going through the motions, trying to look good for those around me....doing the bare minimum. I can't even stand myself on those days, and I can imagine how God feels about that version of me.
Today I felt really free...and kind of "salty". A huge burden is lifted off of me when I'm not worrying about whether or not I am going to submit (there is that word again) to what God wants me to do. My stubborness only succeeds in taking away any freedom God wants to give me. When I am making excuses, I am a slave of my own making. Often I try to explain away why it is I am not doing the thing I know God wants me to do. I'm not just talking about being disciplined with my eating and exercise. I am talking about whatever it is that God has expected for me to do. I'll use food as an example, since disciplining myself in that area is what I'm committed to now. When I am eating sensibly, I don't worry about food, but I do enjoy it more. I don't really enjoy food much when I'm overeating or eating badly. I might enjoy the first bite or two, but I can enjoy that and not overeat. I HATE the way I feel when I've overeaten or eaten something that's bad for me. I hate mistrust that I feel for myself. When I am being thoughtful, planning my meals and eating healthy and sensibly and exercising, I feel free to enjoy other things more. Today I was rocking Conner after his morning bottle, and he was giving me little baby kisses, and I told myself that I had lots of things to do. But then, I said to myself, "No! He's not going to be little like this forever, I am going to enjoy rocking him for as long as we both want. I rocked him and sang to him, and he "sang" with me, and we really enjoyed ourselves. Then I bundled him up and took him on a four mile walk in his very sheltered stroller. We stopped at Starbucks and I had a cup of coffee, and Conner had a bottle. I talked to him and enjoyed him and I didn't care if people thought I was a little nuts talking to a four month old. People didn't. They stopped and talked to him too! (Conner's a babe magnet!) My point is, that it's much better to give up excuses for not submitting to God and just submit. I think I was a little "salty" today! Praise God, not me! :)

Giving Up.....whatever!

Believe it or not, after my last sign off last night, I was still hungry! I didn't eat any more, but it finally occurred to me that I wasn't hungry--I was REALLY thirsty! I drank some Crystal Light, and the "hunger" vanished. I think I was really dehydrated after that huge workout, and I didn't drink any water! I made sure I stayed hydrated today, and I had no problem staying under 1500 calories. That may be a consistent problem for me, because I make coffee and drink Diet Dr. Pepper pretty often. I've cut my Starbucks consumption down to just Saturday mornings at art class to save money, but I make coffee every morning. I drink that and a glass of skim milk, and then I'll drink water occasionally during the day. I'm probably thirsty most of the time, because I work out really hard almost every day. So I'm thinking that some of the time I think I'm hungry, I'm probably just thirsty, like the experts say. Why couldn't I have listened to them? Because I'm stubborn and I have to figure things out for myself!

How coincidental that I listened to Allistar Beg this morning when he was talking about submission, specifically women being submissive to their husbands. He said that the scripture that says women and men should be in submission to one another does not negate the necessity of women to be in submission to their husbands. When I was a young wife, I was really great at the submission thing. In fact, I went around telling my mother, my aunts, my grandmother and almost anyone else who didn't really want to listen to me about how important it is for women to be in submission to their husbands. Not only that, but I preached about admiring them, bragging on them and anticipating their every need. You'd better believe that when Don went forward one Sunday morning and was baptized, I was thinking that 1 Peter 3 worked REALLY well, because I hadn't nagged him even once about baptism, and he studied the Bible on his own and with a friend of ours and our minister! I never really lost my belief in the virtue of being submissive to my husband, and I think I'm still okay at it, but in so many ways I've gone back to my old stubborn ways! I say all of this because Don has been telling me for years that I need to stop drinking aspartame and phosphorous that is in cola drinks, because aspartame is bad for me and phosphorous impedes the absorption of calcium in the body and causes osteoporosis. Sodas also don't take care of the need for water. And they are expensive. So I am going to be submissive to my husband and stop asking him to buy me Diet Dr. Peppers on the way home from work. I won't say that I won't ever drink one ever again, but I'm going to drink water every day instead of diet drinks.

Live, (think, pray) and Learn--Kind of Blew It Tonight

I came home really hungry from water aerobics, and I measured out my dinner, but I didn't figure out how many calories I had left, and I forgot about a snack, so I went way over by my standards. According to Bob Greene, Oprah's trainer, I exercise so much that I could eat 2000 calories a day. But I would never lose any weight on that many calories. Anyway, I learned that I really NEED to eat dinner before aqua challange, because it is a really "challenging" workout, and a snack doesn't do it for me. I also only did a little short devotional this morning from my devotional book and I haven't yet studied my Bible today. I didn't really plan my day out right, I kind of just went from one task to another without being thoughtful and prayerful. I felt like I was rushing 15 minutes behind all day. All that started, because I didn't get to bed until 1 this morning, so I slept until 7 and fell asleep holding Little Man while he was napping in my arms--cuddly baby :). So I (A.) didn't go to Ladies' class, (B.) didn't do my time with God first thing (C.) Rushed through my laundry, housework and preparing dinner (D.) left 15 minutes late to drop off Conner, so I (E.) Couldn't come home and eat before aqua challenge, so I (F.) Had oatmeal cookies and a diet soda from McDonalds, which put me over my 1500 calories and (G.) Ate dinner too late at 9 PM! I probably burned those calories, but just think how many I would have burned had I paid better attention to what I was doing. Live(think, pray) and learn! (H.) Ate again after my post--because I am still hungry! This is ME STOPPING! NO MORE FOOD--straight to my time with God. Pray for me!

Becoming all things to all people in order to win a few...

I Cor. 9:19
Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I become like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the lawI became like one under the law, though I myself am not under the law. To those not having the law, I became like one not having the law, though I am not free of God's law, but am under Christ's law, so as to win those not having the law. To the weak, I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men, so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel that I may share in its blessings. Do you not know that in a race, all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that won't last.
We do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore, I do not run as a man running aimlessly. I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

This scripture says so much about my struggle with weight issues. The first thing he says is that he is free and belongs to no man. Then he says he makes himself a slave to everyone==the purpose is to win as many as possible. I think the whole purpose of this passage is to say that the reason for disciplining ourselves and for refraining from demanding our own freedom to live our lives as we please--is to win souls for Jesus. Whenever I demand my freedom of choice, it is for selfish reasons.
Paul knew he was free, but chose to become a "slave to all men" in order to save a few people. In the past, I wanted to lose weight to fit into the social norm or to be accepted and approved of, but a better reason to discipline myself is for the sake of my testimony about Christ. If my weight is a problem to others, then my testimony about Christ may suffer. Paul states that he is not a slave to any man. It is not a good enough reason for me to try to lose weight just to satisfy a social norm, but it is good to discipline myself in order to be a witness of God's power working in me. More tomorrow....

I love Sundays!

Today was a really great day, especially at church! God allowed us to have three wonderful choices for elders, Rick Baither, Paul Wert, and Jeff Robertson. I don't know Jeff very well, but I've heard him speak before, and he was great. I think Paul and Rick are wonderful servants of God, and I'm so thankful they were chosen.

Don still isn't feeling well, so after we did a couple of things, we came home and he rested most of the afternoon and evening. We watched most of the Super Bowl, and we were excited about New York winning. The last quarter was pretty exciting. The 2nd and 3rd quarters, not so much.

I did some drawing and would like to paint some, but I'm going to bed. I'll hold off writing about my Bible studies until tomorrow. I'm not putting it off--I'm just tired again tonight.

Oh, our friend Bob was in church today. We didn't talk to him, since we have been sick, but it was great knowing he was there.

I love Saturdays!

I'm still a little under the weather; although, I did make it to art class today. Don is sicker than I am, and both of us are going to bed early, so I'm cutting this short.

I just want to share some progress with you. I was hungry, sick and tired when I finished art class, but I didn't feel strong enough to trust myself with eating lunch right then, and I needed to go to the commissary, so I headed on over to Bolling AFB. It was such a beautiful day that I decided to walk before I got groceries, and walked along the water front and back for 3.5 miles...an hour worth of walking. There was a bigger crowd than I have ever seen at the commissary apart from the holidays, so the line was down two different isles to the back of the store when I finished shopping. I have to drive right past Burger King, and did I mention I was hungry BEFORE I went to the commissary? I could have gone over there and bought a hamburger, but I knew that wouldn't have been the best thing I could eat, so I dug around in the grocery bags, got a banana and a diet coke and waited until I got home to eat anything else. Then, Don suggested we go out for dinner, but I knew I was too hungry and tired, and Don was too sick and tired, so I made dinner and we both liked it a lot more. I know that God has been helping me, because last night, I had a very stressful but important conversation with an extended family member who is difficult for me to confront about anything. It wasn't fun, but I came home and enjoyed my evening with Don, excerised and did NOT eat over it. In fact, yesterday my calories were great. Today I followed up on that conversation, just calling to make sure the person was okay, and she had thought about what I said and we had a much better conversation. I decided not to avoid talking to her even though she was mad at me, and it worked out much better. I think God was leading me to do that, because whenever I prayed I thought of her today. Usually that means I need to resolve something. I didn't change what I had to say last night, but I was able to express my love and concern for the person, and I think she needed that. In the past, I would have avoided talking to her for a few days and talked about the situation with Don and my friends etc. But I decided to pray about it, and to do what I thought God wanted me to do about it. Anyway, the anxiety about the situation vanished, and I didn't end up stress eating or avoiding exercise. I consider that a victory.

And another thing happened today: I had a really good conversation with a man from Brazil who makes jewelry at one of the galleries at the Torpedo Factory. We shared our faith with each other, and it was such a great exchange. He shared with me about his perception of Jesus and salvation and the value of life here on earth. We both talked about how the world and all of its beauty and riches, etc. is really just a facade, and our real life will begin in Heaven. This was a man who has a whole gallery full of beautiful jewelry he made himself. His mom had a stroke a couple of years ago and is waiting to die, because her husband is gone and she is disabled. She lives in South America, and he doesn't get to see her often. I shared with him about my father dying and how I think of him in Heaven, a whole person now...and how I don't get to see my mom much since she lives in Oklahoma.
We talked about how swiftly our lives had passed by, and how life here on earth is just a moment....anyway, it was such a great conversation, and I felt my faith was strengthened as I believe was his. It seems like God sends someone my way every week who is willing to talk about Him! Then, I visited another gallery and was talking to an artist about how much I loved one of her paintings, and I told her I was taking classes there, and she offered me a LOT of really good painting boards, heavy canvas sized paper, and a metal frame. She said another artist, a friend of hers, had died and would be thrilled to see her materials go to another artist just getting started. She told me that since I was there, I could have the materials....she said she didn't have room for them! She was also very encouraging about my art....and her artwork was wonderful. She told me she supports herself with her artwork. I'm not surprised--I love her style.

I feel blessed to be able to care for Conner during the week and spend Saturdays working on my artwork and learning so much. In some ways, I wish I would have majored in art rather than music and English, but maybe back then I wouldn't have been ready to express myself in that way. I also think that the artwork is helping me through the loss of my father, because I feel a connection with him when I paint. He was a good artist, and he always wanted me to be. I'm finding out that it is something that fills a void in my life--I think it's something I'm meant to learn.

Tomorrow, on Sunday, I am going to share some of my Bible study notes on my blog. It does me good to share what I am learning. If my blog gets too long, just scroll through. If it helps anyone else, that would be good! Happy Sunday tomorrow!

Sick Day and BAD Food Processor!

I woke up this morning and realized why I was so exhausted last night and the night before. I was coming down with a cold. I still took care of Little Man, though, because I've been sick three times since he was born, and he hasn't caught anything yet. I always wash my hands before I touch him. I didn't get to do something else I wanted to do today, because I couldn't take a chance on passing on my cold. But Conner and I had a nice day together. A kind of funny, but sad thing happened while I was trying to prepare dinner ahead this afternoon. I got the food processor out, and I was trying to make bread crumbs out of some whole wheat bread I have. I looked over right after I turned on the machine--the LOUD machine--and noticed that Conner's face was beet red! I turned off the food processor in alarm and realized he was SCREAMING! I went right to him, and he was crying like he was scared to death. I had been talking to him as he sat in his little bouncy seat right in the kitchen doorway, and then I turned on the machine. Maybe he thought Grandma's voice changed or something, but he was heartbroken! I picked him up and wiped away his tears and abandoned making dinner to rock him for a while. Poor baby! I've seen him turn red in the face when I've put him down to go make a bottle when I realized he was hungry. But I've never seen him cry like that. He was hiccupping for a few minutes after I started rocking him, and then he fell asleep. I felt bad for him--I hope food processor trauma isn't long-lasting.

Since I was sick today, I didn't do aerobics. I did lift weights and do some floor exercises. But I'm tired again tonight, so I'll write about my Bible study tomorrow.
I ended January with a 12 lb. loss, and I'm very thankful for that.