Shame on Tiger Woods...and us!

Well, it's about time I dust this blogspot off! And why am I dragging my blog out of the cobwebs this evening? Because, this morning I heard an "expert" extolling at length about the reported infidelities of Tiger Woods on Good Morning America! Why was this woman considered an expert? Oh, because she is a Sexual Anthropologist!! In this era of 10% unemployment, what we need is more "Sexual Anthropologists" who can explain why men and women cheat on their spouses! (Of course! It's complicated.) NOT.

Our sex-obsessed, media and Hollywood driven culture, has made sex a public event, without great value beyond the momentary pleasure, and frankly, quite boring! Public figures seem to jump in and out of bed with "whoever", and, either people cry out in outrage, demanding to know the voyeuristic details, or shrug shoulders with the attitude of, "Whattya gonna do?" So now we need "sexperts" to tell us why an extraordinary athelete like Tiger Woods would be unfaithful. Why wouldn't he? It certainly hasn't hurt John Gosslyn much, well, except for his self-respect, the respect of his wife, much of the public and the future respect of his children. But whether people approve or disapprove, we all can have an opinion about his sexploits, because they are out there for all to see,
and it doesn't seem to matter to the media that, at least eight of those hearing all about it, whether first-hand or through classmates, will have their lives changed forever because of our "need to know" and "need to explain"!

Whatever happened to people having to do something heroic or at least groundbreaking in order to be newsmakers? Apparently, all one has to do to make the morning news is: become famous...and then jump in bed with someone other than the spouse. That will get the tongues' wagging and the keyboards tapping! Then, if you're lucky, they'll call in a "SEXUAL ANTHROPOLOGIST" to explain your actions. Afterall, we're all victims of something, and there is no right or wrong....just social illness!
No more "news" for me!

Pad Thai....Weight Watchers-Comfort Classics

This morning I went back to Weight Watchers, and I was really surprised that I weighed the same as I did two weeks ago. So I've lost most of what I gained on steroids. I decided to start cooking my way through the Weight Watchers cookbooks, and since it's fall and that's comfort food season, I'm starting in Weight Watchers' Comfort Classics cookbook.

Chicken Pad Thai
Prep 15 min. Cook 15 min. Serves 4

6 oz rice noodles 1 large egg, lightly beaten
1/2 cup ketchup 1 cup shredded cooked chicken breast
1 tbs. sugar 4 scallions cut into 1/2 inch pieces
1 tbs Asian fish sauce 2 garlic cloves minced
1/2 teaspoon chili-garlic sauce 2 tablespoons finely chopped peanuts
2 teaspoons Asian dark sesame oil

Changes I made: I wish I would have shredded the chicken...I minced it.
I didn't have any peanuts, so I substitued 2 tbs. chunky peanut
butter.
Someone used my scallions, so I chopped up half an onion.

1. Cook the rice noodles according to package directions. Rinse under cold running water and drain.
2. Meanwhile, stir the ketchup, sugar, fish sauce, and chili garlic sauce together in a small bowl until blended.
3. Heat 1 teaspoon of the sesame oil in a large skillet over medium high heat. Ad the egg and cook, stirring occasionally, until set, 2 min. and transfer to a bowl.
4. Heat the remaining 1 teaspoon of oil in the skillet. Add the chicken,scallions, and garlic. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the scallions begin to soften..2-33 min. Add the noodles and cook until heated through. `-2 min. Stir in the ketchup mixture and the egg and cook, tossing until heated through, 1 minute. Divide among 4 plates and sprinkle evenly with the peanuts. 7 points

I have only had real Pad Thai once, and this tasted just as good to me! I mixed the peanut butter into the tossed noodles with sauce and cooked everything together.
It was filling and well worth the 30 minutes it took to prepare. I hope you enjoy making this. (It is 7 points for a 1 and 1/4 cup serving) Hubby liked it, so tomorrow night I am repeating Crispy Oven-Fried Chicken with Sage Gravy from the Comfort Classics book, too.

For exercise this week, I am running and doing water aerobics in the pool 3 days and walking 3 days. I am doing yoga most days and doing strengthening exercises 2-3 days.

Not About Soup....well, maybe....

If my weight loss supporters have tuned in to my blog today, you're not going to read about my delicious version of Weight Watchers veggie soup, sorry John and maybe Wayne, nor are you going to read about the dismal valley I am currently traveling on my weight loss journey, at least not directly and maybe not today. This morning God woke me up and told me to write about something else--well, He woke me up, and He made me laugh about our night together last night....in the context of the past 8 years. My friends, close friends, mere acquaintances, as well as complete strangers who crossed my path, all know how ridiculously panicked I was after 9/11. I am not proud of how thrown off I allowed myself to be by the attack on my country, my city and my sense of security on September 11th, 2001, nor am I proud of how suspicious I felt of all of the people who immigrated, or fled, to our country from the East Asian countries back then. But my Father in Heaven, who knows me and loves me anyway, was not thrown at all, and He has made it His business to make sure I learned very quickly that I am not going to avoid His beloved people from the part of the world where He chose to begin His journey with mankind.

Prior to 1979, I had spent all of my life in and around the Texas Panhandle.
At that time, there were fewer than a handful of people from other parts of the world who came across my path. When we moved to DC so that my husband could play in the USAF strolling strings, I was very proud of the fact that my children went to school with children from all over the world, attending a public school in Georgetown. I felt enlightened and cutting edge as we invited a little person named Wahab, who came on the AF base with his limo driver for our oldest son's 6 year birthday party. His dad was an ambassador somewhere "over there". Our church, too, was diverse and I learned to love people from all over the world. But, when the planes hit the towers and, especially, the Pentagon, I was thrown completely off center. I was only beginning to come out of my haze of fear a year later when the snipers took our area hostage, and after that, I looked at all people who I didn't know well, with suspicion. But, as my fear grew, God stepped in and made sure I was exposed with increasing frequency to the very people I feared most. I was a teacher at the preschool at my church, and we had children from all over the world in our classes. I loved the children and their families, which helped my fear. Most of them were here to escape atrocities in their countries. But still I refused to fly, driving to see my family in Oklahoma when I could. I began to teach ESL classes, reluctantly and sporadically, thinking it wasn't my talent. I loved the people in my classes, though, and couldn't escape noticing how courageous all of the ESL students were, coming to a country where they didn't speak the language, and often giving up professional status in their countries to take jobs most would consider menial here.
My heart and mind was beginning to open. When my dad was dying I was forced to fly to be with him, because I was recovering from knee replacement surgery and couldn't drive. It was a sudden decision, so I didn't have long to pack. I had a carry on bag that I used for preschool, and since I had been making apple crisp the Friday before, and had stuck the knife in my bag to keep it out of the hands of the kids, I was confronted by a very grumpy security person, while my knees were being wanded!
That threw me off, and then, when I got on the plane, I got a further glimpse of God's ironic sense of humor! I was sitting in my seat next to the window, trying not to scrutinize every face that boarded the plane, when my seatmate sat next to me. His complexion was what my students would call dark beige. In front of him and me, sat two very large very dark beige men, and across the isle in the single file seats were two very beige men. No one talked at first, and I tried not to stare, looking out my window and praying....a song played over and over in my head, "How Great is Our God....sing with me...." Finally, I am ashamed to say, my seat mate spoke to me first. I realized right away, he was from India. He asked me if I was comfortable sitting next to the window, and I assured him that I was. The other men across the isle were also from India, and were very friendly. The two men in front were pretty quiet, but they seemed "normal" too. I was upset that my dad was dying, I was a little shaken by the possibility that I could have been stripped searched but wasn't thankfully, and I said to God, in my silent shame, "Okay, I get it, and I'm sorry."
The rest of the way, I looked out the window, spoke some to my seat mate, but he had a laptop, and was working, so I didn't need to talk to him. Mostly I hummed quietly,
"How great is our God" as I looked into the beautiful sunrise on that crystal clear fall day, not unlike 9/11. More later.....a teaser, you say? Well, for starters, my precious baby grandson was born on Sept.11th, 2007, and I am COORDINATING our ESL program now....AND directly involved with many many people from all of the "scarey" countries....more later! "How great is our God...." "How silly is His servant...."

Commitment or Just Interest?

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results." - Unknown
This is the longest I have ever been a member of Weight Watchers. I had been going strong since Jan. 1, 2009. The problem is, I have not lost any real weight since May, because I have been letting obstacles get in my way. Obstacles come to everyone, and the difference between success and failure is how we deal with whatever gets in our way. I was excited that, in March, in the face of a horrible obstacle, ie the critical injury of our youngest son, I actually continued to exercise and count points. But since then, I have lost my resolve. I am not sure why, but it really doesn't matter.
Yes, there have been problems, but there always are!
My number one obstacle has been my health. I continue to struggle with both diabetes and lupus, but the remedy for both includes diet and exercise. The second problem has been stress: stress about Nathan's head injury, Nathan's unemployment and Don's and my financial challenges. Again, neither of these things is negatively affected by my continued diet and exercise. In fact, again, the finances could be
positively affected. I could go on: concerns about extended family, family vacation, a really bad staph infection, killer antibiotics, a lupus flare up, a REALLY bad case of systemic poison ivy, subsequent KILLER steroids, subsequent sleeplessness and subsequent ravenous appetite....but again, none of this is adversely affected by diet and exercise. I'm really tired of my own excuses. They are getting me nowhere fast! So, today I am not only committing myself to eliminating the whiney baby in my head....I am committing myself to committing myself. I am accepting no excuses. I am getting my rapidly expanding behind back out there and exercising AGAIN. I am weighing in at Weight Watchers every single week, regardless and I am making another appointment to see my doctor. If I get swine flu....I will drink hot tea and stay in bed, but I will not feed the flu! (oink oink! I couldn't resist!) If a terrorist attacks somewhere in the vicinity of my Weight Watchers meeting, I will employ all of my evasive talents, formerly used to EVADE Weight Watcher meetings when I am doing poorly, and get there somehow! If all of my family members need me at once, I will tell all of them they can wait one hour while I walk four miles and stretch. Also, for any family member reading this, I am going to join my movie watching passion with my cooking passion and come up with my own version of Julie and Julia! I am going to cook through all of my most modern Weight Watchers books and report here. From now until the end of this project....or until I weigh 150 lbs., whichever comes first, I am going to cook a recipe a day from the Weight Watchers books I have and report here. I am going to report how I distributed my points for the day, and I am going to report my activity points for the day. Any of my friends out there who want to see how Weight Watchers works, I want to be a good spokesperson for you! Any of my friends and family who want to see how our Heavenly Father works, please pray for me. I cannot do this alone...no woman is an island unto herself...and my all time favorite Bible verse of all times for getting myself back on track is Phil. 4:13 "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." I know that to be true. I have done other things that were as hard as this. He never lets me down. I have been the one to let myself down. But no more. Hold me to it, friends. "There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results." - Unknown

What is the value of a life?

What is in a life? I have been feeling nostalgic and sad with the passing of Ted Kennedy. I watched the lives of the Kennedys, as most people my age did. I was 9 years old when John Kennedy was asassinated, and I remember the gravity of those days. In my mind, as I was growing up, the beginning of the Cold War as well as the death of President Kennedy was the end of my feeling secure in my little world and the beginning of my realization that the world was a big, scarey place. My family was glued to the TV most of the 60's and 70's, with the death of both Kennedey's and Martin Luther King,and all of the riots, the Vietnam War, the student protests, and finally with Watergate. What I remembered about Ted Kennedy, before yesterday, was that he was the youngest of the Kennedy's, that he was involved in a vague scandal at Chappaquidick in which a young woman...not his wife...was drowned, and that my husband played at his second wedding 17 years ago! Not until I listened to all of the tributes yesterday did I realize the contribution that Senator Kennedy made to both his family and his country or the accomplished generation of children--both his own and his brothers', that he raised. I didn't realize that he had a strong faith in God. I didn't know he was responsible for the minimum wage, COBRA and worked hard for health care reform. I was vaguely aware of his political leanings, but I didn't realize his passion for helping the poor of our land. I heard a comment he made yesterday, "My mother read the Bible to us every day. She taught us that to whom much has been given, much will be expected!" I am so touched by the life that he lived! It made me cry this morning, hearing that members of his family are taking turns in a vigil sitting by his body the entire time he is in repose in the family compound. His neices and nephews spoke of him as they would have a father who died. All of this devotion does not happen unless someone lives a life that inspires it! Because I received most of my information from the TV growing up, I have patchy information about people and events, most likely centered around the most sensational news events. I am going to make it my business to study the history of my time, so that I can learn about the lives of men and women who led extraordinary lives. God created an eternal purpose in each of our unique lives. He wants us all to fulfill that purpose. I want to find out who He created me to be and what He created me to do with my life, so that, on the day I, meet Him face to face, He will say to me, "Well done, my faithful servant!" I hope that Ted Kennedy heard those words when he went home yesterday.

Now I know....

Now I know why people travel to other countries! I have been hating my hair lately. I went to my hair salon about a month ago, but my usual stylist, Sameeda, was out on maternity leave, so a stylist I had never experienced cut my hair. She spent all of 10 minutes--15 tops on a $40 hair cut, but since she didn't cut much off, which is what I like, I paid for it and left. Later I was dissatisfied. I asked my neighbor, Lisa, who seems to always get a good cut, how she communicates with her stylist! She has a love/hate relationship with her ex-favorite hairdresser, who she no longer trusts, and she's managed a bartering relationship with another hairdresser. Lisa is not easy to please when it comes to her beauty services...her lunch or her coffee,either, by the way. So I was really interested in the very words she uses in order to come away from her hair stylist looking beautiful as always. The magic words she uses? The same as mine: long layers!
Today was my Weight Watchers, Freecycling and commissary day. I drove to Ft. Belvoir and stopped at the Starbucks in the base "town center" and sat on a bar stool examining my new cookbook, writing my list.
By the time I came out into the afternoon sun, the sun was missing. Noting the change in temperature, I decided to exercise before going to get groceries, so I put my stuff in the car, locked it up and took off down the street. As I walked by, I noticed a children's hair salon...they were selling hair cuts for $15. I also passed an adult hair salon as I rounded the corner, but my attention was drawn to the darkening sky. Hmmmm...maybe a long walk was not a good idea. At that moment, a strong breeze warned me that the skies above me were about to open up, so I turned on my heel and headed back to my car, and as I turned the corner by the adult hair salon, I saw a sign for $15 hair cuts!
I walked in and spoke to the lady at the desk.
"Do I need an appointment to get a haircut?"
"Usually," she replied, "but we are closing in 45 minutes, and you have just enough time to get a cut, and we have an opening."
She led me to a young man, about my height, of who was not of European, African
or Hispanic descent.
Being an ESL teacher, I listened to his broken English and with startling accuracy asked, "Where are you from?"
"Turkey," he replied, "I no speak English good."
Oh. Ummm...I have a hard time communicating what I want in English to an English speaking stylist. In fact, I had yet to be completely satisfied with a haircut by stylists of any nationality. But, I also can't leave any hair stylist without a LOT of guilt and embarrassment, so I decided to take the risk, especially since I had already had my hair washed and was sitting in his chair, as the young man asked, "What do we do today?"
Hesitantly, but with conviction, I asked for his name and said, "I don't want too much cut off!"
Engin replied with confidence, "You want long layers?"
Relieved, I answered, "Yes! Long layers! And a little bit of bangs!"
Engin took a bit of my hair in the front and combed it forward, "About this much?"
I nervously replied, "Yes...", and, "SNIP!" I had bangs.
Then the haircut began. Quickly I ceased to be a customer and became an admiring audience as my new hairstylist (forever) worked his art on my sun bleached, chlorinated, worn out hair. Immediately I could see this was the best haircut I would ever have! Engin had two small round brushes that he used like hair rollers, twisting my very fine hair around and blow drying very closely to the brush, steam rising in a cloud as he did so. As the rain poured in torrents outside, Engin was focused on everything he did, and when my cell phone rang, he didn't even look up.
"It's probably my husband," I said apologetically, wondering if I should interrupt ....Engin didn't notice.
"Hi, Don!" I said.
"Are you finished getting groceries?" he asked. "I just worked out for 105 minutes."
"Um..no, I was about to exercise too, but it started raining, so now I'm getting the best hair cut I have EVER had!"
All of the other stylists, also in need of ESL services, looked up and smiled. They actually understood English and said something to Engin, who smiled for the rest of the time he worked on my hair.
By the time Engin turned me around to look at my hair, if it weren't for my face and the rest of me, I would have looked JUST like Marilyn Monroe!! He and the other stylists smiled at me, and one of them said, "Beautiful!" I was totally amazed. I shook Engin's hand and asked if I could bring my friend Lisa, who is a not a military dependent, to him. He gave me his card and smiled. Engin had spent an hour on my hair! I WILL come back!
I have to add that, although there was a sign on the window that said "Haircuts $15", that was only advertising the children's salon next door. My haircut was $40.
It ended up being $45, because I gave Engin a tip. I wanted to give him more, but, had I known coming in that the haircuts were $40, I couldn't have justified getting another $40 cut only a month after my last cut! I'm so glad I didn't have all of the information, because I would have missed out on the best haircut EVER! NOW I know why people visit other countries....because there are all kinds of people in all kinds of professions who don't take their customers for granted and are not to rushed to offer personalized service with pride and joy! I took a picture of myself with my cell phone, in my Marilyn Monroe hair,to show Don, complimented Engin profusely to him and to the lady behind the desk, and then with great regret, walked out into the pouring rain.

Happy Half New Year!

Today was one of those pivotal days in my life. I need to reevaluate my goals, and I've discovered that I'm quite happy with how I've focused so far this year.

These were my goals that I set on Jan. 1, 2009

1. Bible Study and Prayer 1 hour per day
2. 45 minutes cardio and 30 minutes strength/yoga per day
3. Weight watchers meeting every week 1 hour
4. 30 minutes to write down all food eaten per day during meal prep.
5. 2 hours per day Tue-Fri cleaning...4 on Fri. because of groceries
6. 4 hours of writing daily....6 on the weekends. Contact publishers weekly
7. 8 hours of sleep daily
8. Winding down, stretching and praying for others 30 minutes daily.

I've actually been consistent with my prayer and Bible study during the school year. This summer, I still haven't gotten my set time established. I have been doing more than an hour a day.

I am exercising 90 minutes per day most days of the week (5-7), but I have not been doing as much strength training and yoga as I should. It's all been aerobic.

I have only missed 3 WW meetings since Jan. 1st.

Most days I write down all of the food I eat.

I've been very consistent with the housework, but I have not with the writing/publishing commitment.

I've been sleeping 8 hours per night most nights.

God has been blessing my efforts and my health has improved by "leaps and bounds" since Jan. 1st. All in all, I am progressing in my goals, and that is encouraging.
I was once told by someone I admire a lot that success builds success. So I am praying that I will build on the success of the first part of the year on the second.
My weight watcher leader, Wayne, told us that when we reach a plateau, a good idea is to "start over". I think it's time to start over with my goals. I will be writing a list for the second part of the year. Happy Half New Year!

Praying through Ephesians Part 1

Geoffrey Athey, our new executive minister at Fairfax, has been meeting with people from our church and leading us in group prayer every Sunday morning at 8. I have found it both meaningful to pray before worship and helpful in growing my personal prayer life into something more than it was. One of the things we have been doing on Sunday morning lately has been praying through the book of Ephesians, for ourselves as a group but mostly, for our church. Since I was reading through the book of Ephesians anyway for my own personal Bible study, I decided to slowly pray through the book of Ephesians. What resulted from that study has been very meaningful to me, deepening my relationship and intimacy with God. I thought I would share some of what I learned here.

It is God’s “good pleasure” to make His will known to us. God is not waiting for us to mess up so that He can punish us. His good pleasure is to make us aware of His will for us. His timing is perfect, and at the right time He sent His Son, and at the right time, He will return and bring all things under one Head. If it is God’s good pleasure to make His will, and Himself, known to us, then we should be seeking His will with our every prayer.
There is a “right time” when Jesus will come again. It is not going to be about our convenience, or at just the specific time we decide to be obedient to His will. His will is known to us now, and we are responsible for seeking it.

It is a privilege to be able to pray this prayer, “God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, please give us the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that we might know You better.” Eph. 1:17. Paul prayed that God would give the Ephesians the spirit of wisdom and revelation…so that they might know God better. We can pray that for ourselves, and when you think about it, what a miraculous thing that is. We can ASK for the spirit of wisdom that we can know the Creator of all things….better. That is the purpose of godly wisdom…to know God and Jesus better. That is enough to think about right there. We have the internet, and most of the time now, people go to the internet to find out answers to life. I find that risky, to say the least. What is the internet but a compilation of the wisdom of man, which, granted is vast, but in comparison to God’s wisdom? We don’t need man’s facts to the exclusion of God’s truth and wisdom.
The only place we can go to find wisdom is before God.

About worship and love......

I have been doing a lot of thinking about worship lately. I never really gave much thought to whether or not we should consider having an instrumental service until a few years ago. I began visiting the Christian church and instrumental churches of Christ with my friend Lisa, who travels and speaks to women in both churches. One of the most meaningful worship services I have ever participated in was in a small church of Christ in Pennsylvania. It took place during a women’s retreat, and, since the church never existed without musical instruments, and since praise and worship styles were part of their natural worship, no one questioned the presence of instruments, the raising of the hands or any other expression of worship during the singing. I found myself participating in worship with abandon, completely focused on God and not wondering how I was coming across to these women, who I had only met hours before. It was a fruitful weekend, with several baptisms (scriptural ones), and one woman who was baptized studied the Bible with me prior to her baptism! That retreat took place the week after I returned from my father’s funeral, and it was a definite changing point in my spiritual walk.

We traditionally use these scriptures to address the issue of music in the church:

1. Ephesians 5:19 (Whole Chapter)
addressing one another in [Acts 16:25; 1 Cor 14:26; Col 3:16; James 5:13] psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart,
2. Colossians 3:16 (Whole Chapter)
Let [John 15:3 ] the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, [ Eph 5:19 ] singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, [Colossians 4:6] with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

The argument against having a praise team was that the praise team is entertainment, and we should not be having entertainment in worship. Well, I can personally say that my voice is not and never has been entertainment quality. I sing on the praise team, because I love to sing, and do so joyfully, I can read music, so I can help support the sopranos when we have a new song, and I can sing on key. I do not have a solo quality voice, even though I would love to be able to sing a solo and may do so someday. But I do believe God has given me a gift for singing. Many times I have been in congregational worship, and either the song leader missed the melody, or the people around me didn’t know the melody. I just sing out….not to show off, but to help. And I love to do this. I guess someone could call that leading. I call it serving…..and singing to one another! Now the two Valeries, Andi, Jennie and Jody all have quality solo voices. I love hearing them sing, and my soul praises God, not them, when I hear their voices. I never have had any sense that any of these beautiful women ever wanted attention for themselves…..they gave the glory to God. If it bothers anyone to hear them sing, then I say, maybe your focus is on the fact that they are singing, not what they are singing or to whom they are singing. My soul has never failed to be lifted when I have heard any of these women sing.
I also know that my husband spent his life worshipping God with his music…..not at church, but every time I have heard him play “the Old Rugged Cross” or “Abide with Me” on his viola….I marvel at the work God has done in his life. When Bruce preaches a great sermon that makes me want to change something in my life…..and is still able to get me to take the focus off of myself and onto God, I am thankful for the gift God has given him.
I have grown up seeing a lot of things in our fellowship…..and never have I been distracted by singing….not even really poor singing. But I have been distracted by unkindness, gossip, rudeness, exclusion and judgemental sneering even during worship. It has caused me to believe that the only thing a person needs to do is do ANYTHING to get a LOT of criticism. We say we have no creeds but the Bible, but the Bible does not forbid the use of musical instruments, the raising of the hands in worship or singing to one another, as in a praise team. I have heard preachers and their families criticized so cruelly that I wondered why any man would want to be a minister. In almost every church the elders have been criticized and blamed for the problems of the body. I can’t help think that if we were busy concerning ourselves with the mission that Jesus gave the church—that of seeking and saving the lost—we wouldn’t have time to point fingers and spread vicious rumors about our leadership. Jesus didn’t spend one second in John 17 praying that we would all be right on every little detail….he prayed that we would be ONE…with Him…with God…and that we would love one another so that the world would know we are HIS disciples…not members of the church of Christ. I have seen Christians fighting over bus verses Bible class ministries, over inner city kids who got excited and loud after a baptism, over whether or not the leadership were truly committed….in a fellowship that grew from 250 members to over 1000 in several years….and the very people who were converted as a result of their leadership were the ones accusing. That church split and many precious souls became disillusioned and left fellowship. We left there as soon as we saw what was about to happen, because we didn’t want our children scarred by the increasingly public ugliness that hurt many people. I think it is time that we owned our public sin….as the church of Christ. It isn’t the sin of compromising scriptures to praise God by raising our hands, it isn’t the sin of either wanting or not wanting musical instruments. It is the sin of not loving one another deeply from the heart. There is a lost world out there that cannot tell us from any ordinary person on the street, because we are not loving one another in such a way that the world knows that we are the body of Christ. When our camps are used to criticize groups of Christians, when our teens hear whispering about one another or experience condescending conversation toward their parents, when our fellowship is tense and there are sneers on the faces of those among us, we cannot be pleasing God with our worship, with or without musical instruments, hands raised or not, voices mic’d or not. Most likely we sound like clanging cymbals to God. I LOVE the church of Christ. I was drawn to Christ because of the home I found there and people loving one another. I do not want God to have to raise up another people…perhaps from the stones on the ground…to go out and proclaim His word to a lost and dying world, because we are busy squabbling about what goes on within the walls of our beautiful buildings.

Blogging Again.....

I can’t believe how long it has been since I’ve blogged! I won’t even try to catch up, but if you have Facebook, and you’re my friend, you probably already know what ‘s been going on with us.

I will catch you up on my weight loss journey, since that is what I last wrote about. I have lost just over 20 lbs. since Jan. 1st, and I give thanks for that success to God, Weight Watchers and my other support systems, like the Biggest Loser club, and my husband and children. Now if I can only do that about 5 more times!

I guess I will catch you up on the news about Nathan. He is recovering from a very serious traumatic brain injury. It happened over 3 weeks ago, when he had gone over to walk his girl friend’s family’s 3 Jack Russel terriers at lunch time, while they were at work. He accidentally dropped his keys with the leashes and locked himself out of their house. He called my cell, but his cell died before he could speak, so he got on Katie’s skateboard, (a longboard that goes highway speeds), and he was coming home to get his spare key, when he found himself going down a steep hill at too high of speed, and before he could slow down, he fell backwards and smashed the back of his head into the pavement. The impact knocked him out, and when he came to and realized he was bleeding from the head, he made his way up the hill to the road and a couple picked him up and brought him home, calling 911. Nathan knocked on the door, the ambulance came and Don got home at the same time. Don took Conner from me, and I rode in the ambulance with Nathan to Fairfax Hospital, where he was in the trauma ICU for a few days….and then in the neuro ward off and on for two weeks. He is home now recovering, coming off of pain medicine and still in a lot of pain. He’s dealing with it, though. He’s off of everything except one med. He has a skull fracture, an arterial epidural hematoma, a subdural hematoma, contusions on the frontal lobe and a percussive brain injury. He will be recovering for several months, but is so lucky to be alive.,,,not lucky, really…blessed.

Don and I are so thankful not to have lost our son. We also are thankful he has so many people who love him. His brothers were there for him, and his girlfriend, Katie, has been a huge support for him. Don and I are praying that God will keep working in Nathan’s life, and in all of our boys’ lives.

April is our big birthday month in our family. We celebrated Don C.’s birthday last week, we will celebrate Don’s this week and Steve’s next. It is fitting that after all of that celebrating, May is when Mother’s Day happens! 

I am the Weirdest Loser.....

I'm up to my third week on Weight Watchers, so it's become a habit, theoretically and in reality. I hope I lose more this week than I did last, but I do believe it is about being grateful for every oz. lost. My second week I didn't even come close to eating all of the points I am alotted AND I exercised almost every day, with all of the intensity I had in me, and I only lost .8 of a lb.! My first week I lost 7.4, so I've lost 8.2 lbs. as of last Saturday. Tomorrow morning I'm hoping to have lost at least 3-4 lbs., as my scale shows. This week, I have eaten all of my points and have exercised, but I missed Sat. and Sun., because I was sick. I also missed yesterday, because I had a busy day....I did do a lot of running after Conner and running up and down the stairs, so that probably counts for something. Today I hope to exercise twice to make up one of my exercise days, and maybe I will get up really early and exercise tomorrow morning. I need to be at Weight Watchers at 7:15, because last week at 7:45, the line was all the way through the weigh in room and across the meeting room, with hardly a chair left in the meeting! So I'm getting up with Don at 4:30 on Sat.

Tomorrow is my second advanced oil painting class and my first multi-media color pencil class. I'm excited about both. Also I am going to a meeting Feb. 11 at George Mason to check into getting a Bachelor's of Independent Study degree. I have been researching it, and I am beginning to compile a portfolio to submit all of my experience since I was last in college, to gain credit for life long learning. What I am truly interested in is a Masters program at GMU in creative writing. I want to incorporate my art in my BIS degree, and focus on writing specifically in a master's degree. I always shrugged off the idea of a BIS degree thinking it was a wimpy way out, but after reading the requirements, I don't think so. They will give me credit for volunteer experience, job experience and lifelong learning, such as my art classes and writing workshops. It's something worth looking into.

Well, my Little Man is half naked, watching Sesame Street and finishing up breakfast. I was about to get him dressed and took off his shirt, when he let me know he wanted to finish up his toast and cheese. He is mesmerized by Grover and Elmo! Pray for me to know and accept God's guidance through these endeavors. I don't want to take anything away from Don and Conner. I really have always had a yearning to finish my degree, and my sister/friend Jennie Jackson, inspired me by getting her BS in Criminal Justice. Jennie is one of my favorite heroes! She is right away going after her master's. You go, Jennie! Yea!

Wedding Pictures

Scroll down for Biggest Loser Posts after the pictures




praying

vows

sweet picture!

Don and me with the bride and goom

their first dance

the brothers


I received all of these pictures recently, so I decided to share them! I'm really happy to be able to share these joyful moments in our family...Facebook friends have already seen them!

I AM the BIGGEST LOSER, and yes, Nathan that is a GOOD thing!

I went to Weight Watchers yesterday, and I lost 7.4 lbs the first week!! Yea! I got two stars, and I'm pathetic, but I'm so proud of those stars! I logged in 67 activity points for the week....exercised an hour 6 days with combined aerobics and weights. I only used 13 of those (exchanged them for food points). I hope not to use any activity points for food this week...kind of the point, you know. But our leader encourages us to use all of our points every week. I just didn't need them, because I felt like I had enough food all week. My points will go down as my weight goes down. I already subtracted one point from my food points this week; although, we don't have to readjust our points except once per month. I feel so relieved NOT to be bouncing from one diet to another. I think most well balanced diets work, but you have to stick to something.

I also got some tentatively good news from my rheumatologist last week. He examined me and all of my joints. I was diagnosed 14 years ago with systemic lupus erythmatosis, which is a pretty scarey disease. At the time I was also recovering from a case of Hepatitis A that I got at a salad bar where there was an outbreak of Hep A, and I came very close to death. My liver function was running in the high 2000's and 3000 is liver failure. I lost 40 lbs. in two weeks and couldn't walk because of weakness for a month. Anyway, my rheumatologist told me last week that he thinks the Hep A caused my immune system to overreact and that either my lupus is in remission or it is very very mild now. I test positive for two other autoimmune diseases, so he ran a battery of blood tests and xrays on my hands and spine, and he will call me this week. He said that if my lupus had continued as it was when I was first diagnosed, we wouldn't be sitting in his office having a conversation. At first, it was attacking my red blood cells and the lining of my lungs, maybe my heart....as well as my joints. He said I do have evidence of having degenerative joint disease in my hands and that was probably what made my knees so bad. He said my weight didn't help my knees but probably didn't cause the destruction that was evident when I had surgery. All of this is really good news, if the blood tests prove him right. The other good news is that my diabetes doesn't seem to have damaged my eyes, my nerves or my feet...all areas of concern. I am seeing a diabetes specialist on Jan. 27th to help me get things under better control. I requested that, because she is in Fairfax, as opposed to having to drive all the way to Walter Reed for care. I just can't do that very often...especially with the little man.
So, Don and I are thanking God for all of the good news and the weight loss. I feel like I have been given a reprieve, which I don't really deserve, but I will embrace and let God's grace change and discipline my life. Praise God!

God's Heart

Conner is walking all over the place, and he's listening to Grandma! I'm so proud of him...and busy! This morning we've stayed at Chris's house for awhile, and I love watching him in his own home. He knows his boundaries. We're having fun now!!

On my own front, I have done well with my plan to lose weight. I have stayed right on the Weight Watchers program, and I've exercised every day...most days for an hour. It looks like I'm down 9 lbs. I knew it would be big...I did the opposite of that over Christmas. I did really well right up to and past Thanksgiving. Then the force of my own worst nature took over! I also decided to do Jaime's plan for reading through the Bible. I already have read through the Bible doing the three part readings. Now I'm reading 12 pages a day...6 in the Old Testament and 6 in the new. (No wonder I've lost weight this week...I've been up diverting Conner at least 6 times in the past two paragraphs!):)

In my readings so far, one of the things that moved me was in the story of Noah. People are always blaming God for all of the violence in the world...as in He doesn't stop it, so He is responsible. Well, in the days of Noah, the Bible said that every inclination of the hearts of men were evil all of the time...and the world was full of violence, so God was sorry that He had created man. It also said God's heart was full of pain! I think of God's heart and how forgiving He is. I think of Him and His patience, and his uncomprehendable love for us...how He condescended to become a human--He who created us and who is perfect in His holiness!
And his heart was full of pain because of the evil and violence of men. There are things that scream injustice in this world--the most heinous is that men blame God for the evil in this world! His every action and every intent was to save us from evil. But often, we won't be saved! So He gives us our way, and it fills His heart with pain! The only reason He hasn't destroyed us completely is becuse He is patient, not wanting any man to perish!

I have to go chase a baby now...more calories burned! (Burn, baby, burn!)

Ummmm....sorry about the pictures

Well, I just now noticed the "running pictures" to the right of my blog. They had seemed okay when I chose them...in case you don't know, how you do that kind of constant photo feed is type in a word on the blog setting section, and the pictures pop up for you. I didn't look at all of the pictures, and I just noticed the kind of provocative pictures of Dallas cowboy cheerleaders, some woman eating a cherry in a weird sexy way, some woman with a piece ice in her mouth....hmmmmm...not the kind of change I'm really interested in achieving....so my apologies for the provocative pictures, and I changed my live picture feed to "puppies", because how can you go wrong with puppies? (I almost changed it to "bunnies", but......)

Final Goals

Well, I joined Weight Watchers on Saturday, and it wasn't pretty~I thought, going in, that I would have gained back half of the weight I lost in 2008, which was 32 lbs., but I gained back all 32 lbs! But facing reality inspires me to do something about it, and I have been writing down, measuring, calculating points and walking like crazy since Sat. Don has been supportive, especially since I told him..."If I find out the world is coming to an end this evening at 6PM, I'm going to get my walk in by 5!" I have to be that determined, or everything else comes before my exercise.
(You know carrying a 31 lb. toddler up and down stairs a gajillion times a day COULD be considered exercise!)

So here are my long term goals for 2009:

1. Read through the Bible and take notes daily/continue to pray daily/pray for someone whose life can be touched by the gospel and "step in".
2. 45 minutes of cardio at least 6 days per week.
3. 30 minutes of weight/strengthening exercises 3 times per week
4. Yoga or stretching daily
5. Be the biggest loser in my friend Jaime's Biggest Loser Challenge
6. Lose 15 lbs. per month until I am down to 150 lbs.
7. Publish at least one children's book and one book of poetry in 2009
8. Send an item in to be considered by someone weekly (writing)
9. Write for four hours per day
10. Stay on my housework schedule so I don't have to play catch up.
11. Make sure our Writer's group meets monthly
12. Host a Writers' retreat in the spring
13. Plan one adventure weekend per month with Don and /or our family.
14. Sell 4 paintings

I know these goals don't seem spiritual, for the most part, but they are. All of these things are things I need to do to enable me to live my best for God. I appreciate prayers and accountability.

Too fat to live? Maybe....

I spent all day yesterday putting away my Christmas decorations, organizing them for the next time we use them, doing laundry and watching shows about "super morbidly obese" people. I hate the term "morbidly obese". It sounds like the person in question is too fat to live. Watching these shows on the learning channel, however, I realized that some people are too fat to really live. When I was younger and full of self-loathing for my own weight problems, I used to watch those shows with mixed feelings of "morbid" curiosity and some measure of contempt. Last night, as I watched the largest woman to ever have gastric bypass surgery, I felt profoundly sad for her and the other people in her condition. This young woman looked like a young, beautiful face, fully made up, and floating in a mountain of flesh. She wanted her life back, so she was willing to risk it to have gastric bypass surgery, and she survived the surgery, but she had a massive heart attack a few days later. I watched all of the stories about the super overweight people, I was looking and listening, trying to figure out why they kept on eating....and to find out why I haven't been successful with my life long struggle with weight. I have about 80-100 lbs. to lose, and I have lost it many times...only to gain it back.
There were a few things that all of the people had in common. They were either in denial about the actual immediate danger they were in, or they felt paralyzed by their inability to do anything about it. The young woman who died was only 29. She had huge fat tumors growing all over her body, and she said, "I know they're there, but I've never seen them. I don't look down there." She took maticulous care of her face and hair. Her body actually looked like it didn't belong to her...her face was a sharp contrast to her body. There was a disconnect in who she saw herself to be and who she was physically. I can relate to that. I have listened to women of much smaller sizes,and all ages, most of whom aren't fat at all, disown and criticize parts of their body. I also understand her "leaving" her body behind and saying to herself, "That's not who I am." It is impossible to be motivated to change my weight permanently if I don't own my weight and size. So that is why I am going to Weight Watchers....and I am not going to wait until I starve myself and get to a smaller weight.

The other common factor was that each person was carrying around either their own emotional baggage or someone else's and the weight became a manifestation of pain, anger, loneliness, or grief. One young man, a teenager who weighed almost a thousand lbs., seemed totally emotionless. His mother, who had a weight issue herself, ran around providing food for him, talking to him like he was a baby, asking what he wanted to eat. I was immediately angry at her, for some reason. It turned out, later in the show we found out that she had lost her first baby boy at 19 months old. She had this teenager six years later and just poured herself into raising him. I think he was supposed to make up for the other son she lost, and she was literally "mothering" him to death. I just wanted to shake her. She kept crying about losing her first son and how if she lost her second son, she might as well jump into the casket with him. But what about the boy's life? As sad as it was that she lost one son, what sense did it make for her to kill the other one with food? I'm sure a lot of psychological things were going on, but it didn't seem fair that that mother's grief came out as 1000 lbs of flesh on her other son. It wasn't about her...even if she lost the second son. It was about her son needing a life.
He survived the gastric bypass surgery, and he was in such pain. The mother just kept on with her behavior...Unless he got into a healthier environment I don't have a lot of hope for him to survive his mother's grief. The woman had a husband, but he didn't seem to be important to her, even though he seemed to be trying to be supportive. Her grief was overwhelming her and her son. I actually had to turn off the TV at that point. Then I had to ask myself why that bothered me so much. It was that the son was so enmeshed in his mother's emotional baggage that he had no real self, as big as he was. There was a disconnect between this boy and himself...just like the woman who died. The only hope for him would be if his mom owned her own feelings and gave her son room to have his own life. Hopefully they all got some counseling. The boy needed his invisible father, too. It was depressing to me.

Then there was this angry, rebellious, gangster 800 lb. man! He would lose an amount of weight and then just demand and order in food in this rehab center--where he had begged to come. He was abusive to the doctors and nurses who tried tohelp him. He had been rebelled against his father as a teen, and then his father died, and that multiplied this guy's anger. He took it out on the world as well as himself. I didn't really relate to this guy, except for the fact that when I get off of my plan, I feel rebellious against my own rules...which is kind of silly. I say things to myself, like, "Why can some people eat whatever they want, and I have to...." Poor me! I don't think that way for long, because I know that I should be ashamed of myself. Three fourths of the world can't even eat every day. How dare I bemoan my efficient metabolism?

Which brings me to the depressing reality of all of the lives that I saw depicted. What a waste of life. Each one of those people had a unique purpose and potential that only God knows, because their lives were literally consumed by what they consumed, and then their bodies consumed whatever was left of them. I no longer look in morbid curiosity or any sense of contempt. I look with compassion, humility and gratitude, because were it not for my Heavenly Father, His grace and the determination He has put in my heart, I could have become a woman with a pretty face floating in a surreal mound of flesh, totally checked out of my life. I had a mound of pain in my heart when He healed me, and His grace makes me try try try again. So here I am, with the same main goal in 2009 that I had in 2008, beginning again. I have hope--because He lives in me.

Daily Goals for 2009....Long Term in Another Post

Don has to work today, but I'm not complaining, because that gives me time to be work on my goals for 2009. I really like beginnings of things, and I reset goals a few times a year, so I don't call the goals I set at the beginning of the year resolutions. I have been thinking about these goals for a long time. I want them to be specific and practical. I am writing down the daily goals first, but I actually got them from my long term goals, which I will put in a different post. I wrote down my process and then scrolled up and put my final results on top, in case you aren't interested in what got me here. I wanted to post it all, because it was helpful for me to see why I feel like a hamster on a treadmill sometimes....without the cardio benefits! :)

2009 Goals FINAL RESULTS (See below for my boring working out the details process...)
1. Bible Study and Prayer 1 hour per day
2. 45 minutes cardio and 30 minutes strength/yoga per day
3. Weight watchers meeting every week 1 hour
4. 30 minutes to write down all food eaten per day during meal prep.
5. 2 hours per day Tue-Fri cleaning...4 on Fri. because of groceries
6. 4 hours of writing daily....6 on the weekends. Contact publishers weekly
7. 8 hours of sleep daily
8. Winding down, stretching and praying for others 30 minutes daily.
Okay that works better. That is about 16-17 hours scheduled....my hours with Conner and Don fit into the remaining 7 or so hours. I just can't set myself up for failure, and I will have to delegate...especially cleaning up after people.



1. One hour of focused personal Bible study and prayer per day...no more no less.
2. One hour of cardio and one hour of either strength training or yoga per day. AM and PM
I know it sounds like a lot, but I've built up to it and it is necessary to keep the mobility in my leg, change my metabolism and keep my morning blood sugars low.

3. Attend one Weight Watchers meeting every week in 2009

4. Measure and write down everything I eat in 2009

5. T-F follow my cleaning schedule and do no more or less than 2 hours of housework per day....keep up, not catch up.

6. Use Don's teacfhing times/nap times for writing. Write at least 4 hours per day....6 on days Don teaches.

7. /8. Sleep 8 hours per day.

8. End my day by stretching/physical therapy/ hot tea and praying for others.

Okay...I used the calculator. At least now I know where my problems lie. I have to schedule 22 hours a day to do everything I need to do....and I'm not scheduling the time I spend with Don, Conner, friends, ESL, going to church, talking to people either in person or on facebook...AAAHHH! I'm going to work this out.

1. Bible study and prayer not negotiable...one hour per day min. Nothing else works without that.
2. Okay so maybe I can do 45 min. cardio and 30 min. strength/yoga per day
3. One hour per week Weight watchers...on my way to art class. Sat., so no need to count in schedule
4. Writing down food/measuring is essential...works into meal preparation...at least 5-10 min. per meal
5. Cleaning...I would delegate, but I'm the one who cares the most, and that really is my job now that I'm a stay at home Grandma...taking care of Conner and my home and husband are my daily responsibilities....at least 2 hours for the house and more for Conner....I follow Don's schedule, so my free time is with him.
6. Writing...if I'm serious I need to use all of Don's teaching/Conner's and Don's nap time for writing. ....I need about 4 hours a day every day.
7. Sleep is non negotiable for health reasons
8. Winding down/stretching 30 min.
Okay that works better. That is about 16-17 hours scheduled....my hours with Conner and Don fit into the remaining 7 or so hours. I just can't set myself up for failure, and I will have to delegate...especially cleaning up after people.