God is helping me!

I was able to fast today, and I don't mind mentioning it, because, although I asked God to help me with my fast, I am not doing it for completely spiritual reasons. Since I began this year that I've dedicated to losing 100 lbs., I have studied a really good book on fasting, God's Chosen Fast. It was given to me by good friends who lived on Andrews AFB when we were stationed on Bolling. I've noticed that book several times over the years, and, even though I have fasted, I never read the book until this year. According to the author and the scriptures, there are many reasons for fasting: health reasons (it is really very good for your health and healing, to draw closer to God, to petition God, as a group a fast for deliverance for a nation, a church, a people etc., for revelation, for personal sanctity, to change God's mind, and to buffet the body. This time I am doing it for health reasons and to buffet my body--because I've been doing the bad kind of buffetting.

Conner is feeling a little better today, but he didn't sleep much all day long. I'm used to him taking a long morning nap and a short afternoon nap. I took care of him a little longer today, because Cam picked him up instead of me driving him home. He got sleepy right before she got home! I still got a lot done, in between picking Conner up and putting him back on his quilt where his toys are, putting him in and out of his bouncy chair, rocking him, trying him in his crib, where all he did was play with his feet and hands and throwing his pacifier out of his crib! I think I burned a lot of calories taking care of Little Man today. While I was carrying him upstairs, he decided to turn upside down so that he could see the light in the foyer as we walked up the stairs! Luckily I had a good hold on him, but I don't think I can carry anything else up the stairs when I am carrying Conner.

My future daughter in law, Elise, graduated formally today. She actually graduated in January, but her ceremony was today. Don took off work to go to her graduation.
She has a history degree and will eventually teach high school history, I think. Right now she is working as an accountant.

Hubby Don's twin brother, Ron, and his family are coming through tomorrow night. Chris, our oldest, is playing in a concert at Bull Run Park, and then everyone is coming to our house for Mexican food, that I am preparing.I am looking forward to getting together with my family, because we were away on Mother's Day, and we haven't all been together in a long time.

I'll be blogging daily from now on....as I work on losing the other 78 lbs. that I am determined to lose this year. Thanks for your prayers.

Coming Clean

I have been blowing my diet for weeks, and I don't seem to be able to stop myself. I
spent a long time tonight asking God to help me, and I feel much calmer about it now.
So I am going to fast for a couple of days, because that helps me get things in the right perspective and begin my food program all over again on Sat. morning.

God is so much better able to handle all of the things that I am worried about than I am, including my food issues. Don and I went away for the weekend, and we had so much fun. Sunday we went to church in Hendersonville, NC, and we enjoyed the worship service, but I missed my boys. After that we went to the North Carolina Arboretum and walked for several miles. Also, before church I worked out in the hotel pool. But I ate badly all day....and all day Monday...and all day Tuesday....and all day today. It's like I'm blowing my diet just to blow it. So I'm mad at myself, and that's not a good thing either. I'm being honest, because
this is a vicious cycle that can go on for months if I let it. And I made a committment to lose 100 lbs. this year. I can still do it....God and I can still do it...if I don't waste anymore time. Pray for me, if you're reading this. I'm feeling despair over the fact that I'm losing my focus.

On the positive side, I've been doing a great job with my house, Conner, and I've been writing and painting. I'm writing devotionals and Bible studies while I'm working on a big project. I'm really trying to write for a living, and I'm learning great things through all of the resources I got at the Christian Writer's conference.

Little Man has a cold, and we aren't liking that! He's not been sick yet. I spent a lot of the morning suctioning out his nose. I forgot how much babies hate that. He kept batting my hand away and giving me his scrunchy face. He's still moving all over the place and playing with his toys, his feet, his hands and my face! :) So I guess he's not too sick.

Pray for my brother, who has been sick, my neighbor Barbara, who has an impossible situation, and my son Nathan, who is working on some hard issues in his life...he is doing well, though. I'll let you know how the fasting and the new committment goes. Feel free to ask.

My Baby Brother....and Switching gears

My brother, Greg, sent me some great pictures of him and his wife Denise and my nephew Ansel. They live in Colorado in a really great area. I think they are at a meeting for Democrats here...they are delegates for the Democratic party in Colorado.
I love my brother's smile. He looks a lot like my dad did when he was younger...and my son Don looks a lot like Greg did when he was younger. People say we look alike, too, and I agree somewhat. (Poor guy!) :) Ansel looks a lot like Greg, too, but I can also see his mom in him.

Don is taking me to Asheville, North Carolina for a short little weekend away for Mother's Day. We have been thinking of retiring there someday, so we decided to go down and check out housing prices and other things about the area. Don traveled there with the AF, and he tells me that if we visit there, I will want to move there. I'm not so sure. I think it would take a really special place to make me want to move away from Little Man. Speaking of Conner, he will be 8 months old on May 11. It's hard to believe. He is rolling all over the place and sitting up to play...still a little wobbly. He will be pulling up and crawling soon I think. Then I'll really be busy.

Our weekend was wonderful. Defining Moments was the best ever because of the stories that were shared and the diversity of the performances. I feel very lucky to be part of a church that allows its members to use their talents to serve God in such creative ways. There were lots of visitors there, and I only heard positive comments from all of them. Our neighbor came and really enjoyed it...Don and I considered that a real compliment because he is the Creative minister at New Life Christian church. He said it was very inspiring. We were encouraged to see him there--Lisa, his wife was in Louisville at her neice's graduation. Our friend Christine was there too. She said it was uplifting to her as well.

NOW...back to my diet. Ugh! I have been doing awesome...until this weekend. I ate badly Sat. night after Defining Moments, because I didn't eat lunch--I was at the ER all afternoon. (I thought I had blood poisoning from having an infected foot. I didn't, but they gave me a strong antibiotic. I'm doing better.) Yesterday I did pretty well, but today I did awful....because Don worked late and I didn't really eat dinner, so I just snacked. The main thing is that I need to get back to taking care of myself. I've been dealing with some pretty hard issues that have taken away my focus on myself, but now I have to get back to self discipline. I have three friends out there who have been encouraging me to write in my blog again, so I am. Tomorrow I am beginning a walking challenge on Sparkpeople.com. I am going to walk 6 miles a day for a month. I also intend to stay in the lower part of my calorie range for the whole month. Hold me accountable my friends!

Yesterday's blog--Grace and Lisa

Yesterday I was having a sad day. I like ironing when I am sad--there is something soothing in smoothing out the wrinkles of my husband's shirts when I can't smooth out the wrinkles in my life. I decided to call Grace when I was ironing and found out she may not be living near me much longer. That's all it took to make me cry. Luckily Little Man was busy bouncing his bouncy seat and didn't pay any attention to Grandma's tears. Why do I always feel guilty when someone moves out of my life? I think of all the times I was too preoccupied in my own life to get together with Grace...and now I may not have the opportunity much longer. Grace is one of the most creative and intelligent person I have ever known who also possesses a great humility. Most people with her skills, knowledge and beautiful home might be a little proud, but not Grace. She is hospitable, kind, and she is interested in the lives and marriages of others. I love that about her and Roland. She is a great wife, mother and friend. I will miss her and Roland.

I worked every moment yesterday when I wasn't taking care of Conner. Lisa rode with me as I took Conner home, and then she called me last night to see if I wanted to go help her clean offices, which is her part time job. I've been looking for ways to earn extra money, and I always have fun with Lisa, so I went to clean with Lisa last night after I washed up our dinner dishes. Don gave me his blessing, because I was in my processing mode, and all he really wanted to do was click through the channels with his new giant remote that our son gave him for his birthday and maybe play wii....basically not process with me. Lisa and I had fun, and we got a lot of cleaning done really fast. She said that it usually takes longer with a new person, but we finished ontime, and I vacuumed more offices than I needed to vacuum. It was an hour's worth of work, and I made $30--not bad. I actually like cleaning, and as you can see it burns a LOT of calories. Today I hope to do some writing.

A Kindred Heart

Now I know why we need such a diverse body of believers! I am finding fellowship with a woman with whom I have never spoken, but who could, if I could speak to her, completely understand the grief my heart feels over my son Nathan, who has moved far from us, although he lives just a block away. Ruth Graham, Billy Graham's wife, wrote a beautiful book that reads like a balm to a hurting parent's heart, PRODIGALS AND THOSE WHO LOVE THEM. I wrote away for this book months ago, and had only given it a cursory glance here and there before two weeks ago. Ruth Graham uses scriptures, her own reflections and beautiful poetry to express the agony she went through as several of her own children went through pretty long prodigal seasons. This one I really relate to:

Had I Been Joseph's Mother
Had I been Joseph's mother
I'd have prayed
protection from his brothers
"God, keep him safe.
He is so young, so different from
the others."
Mercifully,
she never knew
there would be slavery
and prison, too.

Had I been Moses' mother
I'd have wept
to keep my little son:
praying she might forget
the babe drawn from the water
of the Nile.
Had I not kept
him for her
nursing him the while,
was he not mine?
--and she
but Pharaoh's daughter

Had I been Daniel's mother
I should have pled
"Give victory!
--this Babylonian horde
godless and cruel--
Don't let him be a captive
--better dead.
Almighty Lord!"

Had I been Mary,
Oh, had I been she
I would have cried
as never mother cried
"Anything, O God,
Anything...
but crucified>'

With such prayers importunate
my finite wisdom would assail
Infinite Wisdom.
God, how fortunate
Infinite Wisdom
should prevail.

By Ruth Graham

A Much Better Day

I got so much done around the house today that I counted the hours I cleaned house as exercise. I cleaned every minute I wasn't holding or caring for Conner, which was about 3 hours. I cleaned the carpets downstairs and got caught up with the laundry,dusted the piano and other furniture and cleaned bathrooms. Tomorrow and Thursday I want to work outside.

I hope everyone got their taxes done. Don did ours a week ago, and this year all of our sons did their own, so I didn't have to think about taxes today.

Tomorrow I am going to finish up my housework and write for three hours, if all goes as planned. Conner is enjoying his new mobility and plays a lot on his own now. But he still loves being in Grandma's lap.

Today was a much better day.

Beginning Again

Today is our son Steve's birthday. I didn't get to talk to him, because of his work schedule, but both Don and I left messages on his phone. We are getting together on Friday night for birthday cake for hubby Don and Steve. 27 years ago, I had a precious, sweet little baby boy! He has been easily pleased and very caring towards other people all of these years. I am thankful to know Steve as a man...he is the kind of person I would want for a friend if he wasn't my son.

I had a pretty low day today--I knew it was coming, and I decided to give in to it--for a day. It's one thing to be broken hearted for myself--but it's another thing to see my husband and our whole family broken-hearted. I'm sure Nathan is broken-hearted too, even though no one has heard from him. We have always been a unit....even after we went into different units, especially the brothers. I have always wondered about Jesus saying, "Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted." I have thought a lot about that statement. There is an implication there that we have a choice whether or not we mourn. Maybe denial is a refusal to mourn--"everything is oookay". And when we are in denial, it's not like we don't know there is a problem--we just are not mourning, so we can't be comforted. Today I didn't want to get out of bed. Don had to work, and I don't watch Little Man on Mondays, so I stayed in bed until almost 9. Then I got up and made coffee for son Don who goes to work at 10. (He and I stayed up talking from 1 until 3 this morning...a really good, meaningful conversation.) Anyway, after I finished making the coffee, I went back to bed and stayed there all morning. I can't remember the last time I did that....and I cried out to God. All of the rest of the day I felt sad, but better. Tonight I feel comforted, and Don does too...God is answering prayers. Chris has been so supportive even though he and his brothers are sad about Nathan, too, and Chris and Cameron have been having some of their own stress. I was expecting to see Nathan today--he hasn't picked up his tax forms from here. But I didn't go looking for him...he's a man, and they are his taxes. (Boy, is he going to be mad at himself if he misses out on his tax rebate.)
Tomorrow is a new day...I am beginning again with my daily self-discipline. I actually have been keeping up with most of it this past week...I've been doing my Bible study and prayer, and I've been exercising most days. I have also been doing fairly well with calories. Today, I didn't count calories or exercise. I decided making the bed, picking up and washing the clothes is good enough for today. I put the trash out for Don, since he had to work late. He appreciated that. I got almost everything I needed to do for tomorrow done this afternoon, and I decided to stay up a little late and write in my blog. For a while, I am going to focus on my daily discipline in my blog. I have heard that when we are going through trials, we should rely on our daily routine to feel more normal. Also, I am going to try hard not to be a burden to my loved ones. God can sustain me and meet my needs.

Still needing prayers

My friends Diane and Chris Sterritt have gone to be with their daughter, Jenn, who fell off of her bicycle at college and broke her jaw in several places. Jenn is a sweet, smart, beautiful girl...and I love her. (I'd love her even if she was surly, not so smart and not so beautiful.) Please pray for Jenn, for Diane and Chris and for Sarah. Pray for their safe return from Nashville, too. Sometimes life gets really hard!

Pray for our youngest son, Nathan, too. He is living on his own now, and his whole family loves and misses him....and we are all concerned for him and his well-being.

Please pray for our whole family. We have a lot to be thankful for, with our little Conner and knowing that Cameron is okay. But we are still concerned for Cameron's health....I want her to start feeling like her old self again. Don and I are having a hard time with all of the stress, but we are dealing with it as a team, relying on God to help us. But we're still upset. Pray that we maintain our discipline and that we not worry. Thanks, friends for your prayers.

Cream Tea with Lisa, Hazel and Conner

It was a beautiful day today, and Conner and I visited our neighbor Hazel with Lisa, my next door neighbor for "cream tea". Hazel is from England, and we love teasing her about it. Lisa and I dressed up and I put on some fancy winter gloves, and we both wore long dresses. Hazel got a kick out of us. She lost her sweet husband, Bob, who was the handyman servant of God in our neighborhood (suddenly, last fall).

I'm cutting this short, because I'm exhausted and I have art class tomorrow. Have a great weekend.

Family Time

I know I haven't blogged in a long time, but we've been having several things in our family that have taken priority. We found out that my daughter-in-law is okay...she has Bell's Palsey, which is not serious, but the symptoms look like other things, like a brain tumor, which is what we were all concerned about. She had an MRI last Friday, and we found out Tuesday she is okay. That is a huge relief to us all...especially Chris and Cameron.

Our son Nathan moved out on his own over the weekend, which is something he has been wanting to do for a long time. We are praying that he will be able to thrive on his own and that he will be blessed by our Heavenly Father, as he turns to Him for guidance. We will miss him living with us.

Some really great news is that our son Don and his beautiful fiance Elise Swenson are getting married September 27th at our church building. We are all excited and are looking forward to their wedding very much.

Don Sr. has been doing automatic weapons training, hand to hand combat training, counter terrorism training and shotgun training for his new position. I was really nice to him this week! :) Both Don Sr. and Don Jr. have birthdays this week: Sr. 53, Jr. 24! Son Steve's birthday is Monday....he is going to be 27. He got to sit in 1st row at a Caps game--I think it is Caps....one of those pro games, anyway...I'm sure basketball. Can you tell I do water aerobics and watch Dancing with the Stars?

Needing Prayers

We had a pretty rough weekend. The Christian Writers' conference was wonderful. We have a lot going on at home with our family right now. We would appreciate your prayers.

A Little "Under the Weather"

I have been away from my computer this week, because I have had some problems with my right hand--I have been having a lupus flare up, and for a couple of days, I couldn't use my right hand, because all of the joints were so painful. I didn't really calculate my calories and I didn't exercise except for walking on Tue afternoon, but today I got back into the swing of things. My hand is still a little sore, but I can use it again.

I had a lot of fun on April Fool's day! I was able to trick: hubby Don,son Nathan, my daughter in law,Cam, my friends Lisa,Lynn, Cynthia and Lisa's daughter, London.
I'm too tired to write about them all, but there was a lot of laughing.

My daughter in law is on my mind tonight. She is having an MRI tomorrow. I'm praying for her...she's been having some confusing symptoms. I think she's okay, but I'm still praying for her. She's more like a daughter to me....we all really love her and need her to be her spunky healthy self! Her mom is on my mind, too. She had a car accident. We were really glad she wasn't injured, but so sorry she messed up her car.

I navigated my way to Ft. Belvoir and got groceries tonight...to my own peril. At one point, people were whizzing by me so fast that I put on my hazard lights. I didn't really feel like going there but Lisa and I are going to Baltimore for the Christian Writers' conference tomorrow night, and I didn't want to leave Don with no healthy food at home. I'll write more next week...have a good weekend.

Running Errands....Spending time with Don....

Don and I spent the whole day out today, running errands. It was our last Monday off together for some time. He went to do his PT for his new job site and found out that he will be doing a 3 week training course beginning next Monday. I don't like it when our schedule changes. I like my schedule ruts. At least we will have Sat. off together, but this Sat. my friend, Lisa, and I are going to a Christian Writers' conference in Baltimore. Conner's other grandmother will swap her Monday for my Friday, and Lisa and I will leave early for Baltimore. Both of us have signed up for a 15 minute consultation with a writer/instructor in addition to all of the classes. I am hoping that both of us will end up getting some of our writing published. I'm planning on bringing some of my poetry and some other writing I've been doing. Either way, I think we will have fun and learn a lot. We have gone on a couple of trips together, and we always have a good time. This time Lisa won't be speaking, so we won't have to do anything but talk and have fun on the way there.

I didn't focus enough on my food today, as you can see from my calories....I was surprised how they added up. I didn't overeat volume wise or eat emotionally....we just ate breakfast out....and had nuts instead of lunch. Nuts add up!

Wonderful Day

I woke up at 5 AM and went to the pool this morning....it was great! There were only 3 people when I got there at 6 AM. I worked out for an hour, did some shopping for Bible class, got a coffee and picked Don up early for church. I like being up for a long time before church...my mind was really ready for worship. I think I'm going to do that more often.

Bible class was a lot of fun--think about 20 kids, half boys who are each others' friends! My partner was out, and it took two moms to take her place! Mary Jane is good with keeping the classroom calm--I missed her, but the moms did great. We had a lot to do, and it all got done! Prayer circles was a big group, too. We all had been praying for Bob, so everyone was a little sad. We talked about Heaven though. That's what we talked about in Bible class too. I love kids! They are so honest.

We took our son Steve out to lunch, because we were picking up Don's car from him--his is in the shop. I love spending individual time with our kids. I'm going to quit early tonight....I want time with Don.

Not my will...

God is always faithful...ready to keep His promise to draw near to us as we draw near to Him. That is what I have discovered time and time again. In the past, I could accomplish some things on my own without leaning on His strength, but now, unless I am walking in constant acknowledgement of my need of Him, then whatever I am doing feels fake, like just going through the motions . I am not satisfied with going through the motions of life anymore...even for one day. I think that is where boredom orginates....in a refusal to draw nearer to God each day...at least in my life. I am not willing to settle for half of an effort in my spiritual life, and I refuse to live a boring existance into my old age. As Romans 12 says, our spiritual form of worship is offering our bodies as a living sacrifice daily, and God promises to renew our minds. We can constantly be renewed until we pass on into our new lives, so boredom should never be an issue....neither should bondage to any earthly thing.

Today in part of my Bible study, I read: "Come all you who are thirsty, come to the waters, and you who have no money, come buy and eat! Come buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear, and come to Me, hear Me, that your soul may live. I will make an everlasting covenant with you, my faithful love promised to David...Seek the Lord while He may be found, call on Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and He will have mercy on him and to our God, for He will freely pardon.
For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from Heaven and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed to the sower and bread for the eater, so is My word that goes out from My mouth; It will not return to Me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." Isaiah 55
I am asking God to keep it forever in my mind that only He can supply my needs. No matter what it is I think I want or need at any given moment, what satisfies me is being in close fellowship with Him. Worrying certainly doesn't help me or anyone else. I had a much better day today.

Still Blowing It.....

Hey, friends, I need both your prayers and your admonitions! For the past two days, I have been blowing my diet--after having such a victory last week. I know exactly what the problem is. I haven't been having my time with God this week, and I've been worrying about some family problems going on.
That combination--not drawing near to God and not giving Him my worries--is what gets me off track every time I am doing well with my self discipline. I am repenting now. I will, from this moment on, give my worries over to God and stop stress eating. I am dedicating the next three days to Him--redirecting my life back into His care and putting my Bible study back into top priority. Check in tomorrow night....I will be back on track with my calories and exercise, as long as God is back in control of me. And I'm not missing any more posts.

Learning Manners and Tummy Time with Grandma

Conner and I had a busy day today. He was happy to see me and gave me his sweetest "Goodmorning, Grandma!" smile. He was happily playing in his little seat with his dangly toys when his tummy decided, "IT IS TIME!" I, being the experienced grandmother that I am, have the timing down! In less than two minutes, I had mixed up a bottle of formula, mixed it with some cereal and fruit and had spooned in the first bite. Conner tasted it with a grimace and let me know he preferred bananas to applesauce...oh, well! Then he did a growl/yell at me because I wasn't spooning fast enough for the Little Prince! I stopped spooning and made my "No-No!" face and said, "Say bite, please, Grandma!" Conner gave me his cutest cereal-all-over-the-face smile, and he had me! But neither did he growl at me anymore....of course I was scooping it in pretty quickly!

Then we did "tummy-time"! (which he hates!) When my kiddos were babies, it was okay to put them down on their tummies to sleep. Not so anymore--evidently all of the kids over say, 25 years old, should have not made it to two years old, because they slept on their tummies. As a result of the new sleeping rules, Conner loves his back and hates his tummy. I want him to learn to roll, and the doctor recommends tummy time. We should call it screaming on his tummy time....with Grandma turning him over and over like a little pancake, clapping her hands like a dummy, and saying with animation, "Yea! Conner!!!" Finally I gave up and took a folding clothes break, leaving him hollering on his tummy. Conner got quiet, so I peeked around the corner to see him on his BACK, playing with his feet contentedly!
Yea! Conner! SO like a Grandma, I wanted to SEE him do it, so I turned him back over! BIG MISTAKE! Tummy time was over--until tomorrow!

Sanity returned today....and I walked even though I'm having a lupus flare up.
Now I know why I was so tired yesterday. I'm going to bed early...

Momentary Loss of Sanity

I blew it tonight....I wasn't myself all day. I was worn out from the weekend, but I still got caught up with the laundry and cleaned two out of three levels of our townhouse. But just before I left the house to take Conner home, Don got mad at me because I didn't call him at work to give him an important phone message--he usually calls me a lot during the day, so I thought he would today as well. Conner was extra fussy, so I didn't notice he didn't call me until he walked through the door. Evidently he had been checking his cell phone all day to see if he had received any messages. And I didn't remember my son had paid me some money he owed me and argued the point with him for a bit, too, before remembering...and had to apologize. I don't mind apologizing to my son....but I've been trying to hold him accountable, so that was a bit sticky.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I had planned to walk, but it was too cold and windy. So I came home to warm up and go to water aerobics, but when I walked up the stairs--Don was teaching downstairs--there was the big Easter basket that was meant for all of my grown children and daughter in law, fiance and girlfriend . Of course, they didn't take to THEIR homes any little chocolate eggs--they left them for the boys who live here! Right! Anyway, I kind of went crazy for a few minutes! So I'm mad at myself now. If I stop now, I won't gain any weight back, so I'm announcing that I am stopping....NOW! I'm watching the Biggest Loser and then going to bed. Check in on me tomorrow!

Our old dog....and another flat tire!

Today Don took Charlie to be groomed and the two of us went to pick him up. He's getting really old. Most of the hair he has now is gray, but he still loves looking out the window. He climbs as high up as he can get and sticks his head way out the window. Now that the kids are moving out, getting married, etc., Charlie values all of the attention Don and I give him. He's always loved anyone who will pay attention to him....and we all love him. He's 13 years old, but he still acts like a puppy.

Don and I went to Bull Run Park and walked, and Don played Frisbee golf. I had ANOTHER flat tire yesterday on the way to church. Again, I didn't feel it. I thought the alignment was off on my car. That is the fourth flat I've had since summer. This time dry rot caused the flat, and my tires were supposed to be new--they have tread still. So Goodyear replaced it free of charge! I'm just thankful I wasn't out with Little Man when I had the flat. Don and I went to pick up Steve for church in Sterling yesterday, because the clutch is out on his car. I knew the car wasn't handling right, but I didn't know the tire was flat. Someone on the shuttle told me. So we rode home with Chris and Cam after church and then took Don's car back to change the tire.

Don didn't get to go to the graveside service for Bob Saturday, so I took him over to see the grave. I loved it that Bob chose to be buried in a plain casket with a cross on top. That says everything about what Bob valued in life, I think.

Three Days and God's Grace

I believe this past weekend will end up being a defining moment in many people's lives. I know it was in mine. I have been profoudly affected by Bob's life....and by Tresa's faith, love and strength. And I know that God is the One to be praised for those things. Bob's life was celebrated even as all of our hearts were broken by his loss and the loss for Tresa and their children. Bob's and Tresa's family anf friends, our church family and Bob's FBI family joined together to give praise and glory to God, who worked mightily in Bob's life--as He wants to do in all of our lives. That is what Bob wanted. I will never forget Bob's life or his funeral for the rest of my life.

God and I had an experience together this weekend....I have been dealing with many things...and in the three days I spent with God in prayer, in study and in praise, God put me in a place of peace and confidence in His love and in His willingness to work in me and in my family. He is taking my burdens from Me, and I want to thank Him and praise Him for that.

Also, I'm still in awe at the demonstrations of God's love in the entire weekend. Darla Robinson came home from her mother's funeral and immediately gave herself in service in Bob's funeral. She is God's servant. Lisa Girourard gave herself in every aspect of planning and serving during the entire process of preparing for Bob's funeral. Cindy Jeter, Teresa McCain, Lynn Belknap,Ellyn Sergio,Lisa Bosley, Bruce Black, Angelia Hennesey and others gave endlessly and tirelessly to make everything happen--when they were exhausted, hurting emotionally and sick (in Bruce's case) and in extreme pain (in Lisa's case). People traveled from all over the world to be here. Bruce Chadwick used the "gift" of his progressive and physically debilitating illness to minister to our brother, who had to face his own physical debilitation unexpectedly. Bruce knows what it is like to want to run and be active but instead have to be helpless when your body goes through a sudden decline. Only Bruce could befriend Bob in that way. I am in awe. This love does not happen outside of Christ. I am in awe of my Heavenly Father and His love for us--that He loved us so much that He gave His only Son--so that we might not perish but have everlasting life....as Bruce spoke about Sunday. I was sitting with my dear family--with two missing, one because he was at his own church with his fiance and one because he didn't want to be there--and I was surrounded by the love of my family and the love of God and the love of my church, knowing that my Heavenly Father, the Creator of everything, loved all of us so much that He gave His ONLY Son...so that we could be with Him forever. How could I ever ask for more?