Almost a New Year.....time to reflect on 2008

Dear Friends,
I have decided to take myself more seriously. Those of you who know me well may be collectively groaning and reaching for your "mice" to click off of this blog. Be patient, my friends, I don't mean that I am going to try to find my navel and contemplate it....the world has had quite enough of that kind of introspection from me. However, it is time for me to take myself seriously as a writer, and it is time for me to pay better attention to my health. I am not going to use my blog to hold myself accountable this year, though. Today I evaluated what I actually accomplished in 2008. I lost 32 lbs. and gained back 15....not much of an accomplishment, but something. The only time in my life I have lost weight in a healthy way was when I was on Weight Watchers. So, today I signed up for the monthly plan at Weight Watchers. I absolutely will not waste money by skipping meetings I've already paid for, and the fees will come out of my bank account monthly, so I have to make an effort to stop the payments. My pride will not let me step on the scales week after week with no weight loss, so I think I've made the right decision. My conscience was bothering me all last year when I thought of shelling out money to help me lose weight....as in, I have to pay someone to help me not eat too much food, when three fourths of the world is starving to death??? But how am I going to be of any use to the rest of the world if I am dead from diabetes?
I do not want to go the surgical path....I would rather eat less than be forced to eat less by going through the trauma of abdominal surgery. I will let you know how I'm doing--Jaime, especially. Pray for me. It is my hardest personal challenge.
The other health issue is my right knee. It has not bounced back after the knee replacement, like my left one did. I am rebeginning my own personal physical therapy, and if I don't see an improvement in the bend, I am going to go back to the surgeon and allow him to force the bend in my knee, which he said could break bones. I was released by physical therapy before we could get a complete bend in it, because I have huge scar tissue in there. I don't want any more surgery, and I sure don't want a broken bone, but I can't exercise properly with so little bend. Don and I walked all over downtown yesterday, but I had to stop every half hour and try to stretch out my leg. Today it was much better.
Now, as for my writing. My new writer friend, John Shore, who I met on Facebook, told me that I need to focus either on the writing or on the painting but not on both if I want to be successful at either. Resistant as I am to that idea, I know he is right. Since writing is where God has gifted me most, I am going to focus on that, without giving up my painting completely. I really want to publish the work I have already done as well as finish some work I have begun. I will illustrate the children's books I have finished, but the ones I have yet to finish sketching out, I will submit without illustrations. I am also going to publish some of my own writing on my blog, for comment or just to do something positive with it. Feel free to comment, criticize or share with others. I am not sure how many people read my blog, but several people have been commenting to me personally. That's encouraging. Finally, if you are my friends, you know that my desire is to please God with my life and all of my efforts. I know being responsible with my health and body is God's plan for me. I know He would like me to use my gifts to serve Him, as well. Please pray for me about both of these areas of discipline in my life. Happy New Year....I will be posting some specific goals on Jan. 1st...corny I know, but I need icons.

Santa Baby!

Well, I'm on Conner break for about 2.5 weeks. I miss him already, but we will see everyone Christmas eve and Christmas day. Little Man and I have been all over Northern VA Christmas shopping since Thanksgiving. It's getting where Conner knows that we're going somewhere whenever he sees me. He smiles when he hears Christmas music playing, except Sunday when he was with us at chorus practice for Christmas Eve. He wanted to be on the stage with us.

Tonight Don and I are finishing celebrating our engagement anniversary. Last night we had dinner out at PF Chang's, and tonight we are wrapping presents together and watching Christmas movies. We were engaged on Dec. 22, 1974. We always exchange a gift and our Christmas cards on that date. It's my favorite Christmas tradition, because it's just between Don and me.

I went grocery shopping today, and it was busy at the commissary! It was weird being there without Conner! I was in and out in an hour. I didn't spend any more than I usually do for a two week grocery run. Our grocery bill is going down. I'm trying to cook just for the two...or three if Nathan's home...of us. Sometimes Katie eats with us, too, but she doesn't eat much. Rarely Don and Elise will come over, and sometimes we invite people over, but our food bill doesn't change much. I have been evaluating our spending on food, utilities etc and trying to do my part to cut expenses. I have been feeling nudged by God to spend less and give more...I have become more aware of ways that we waste money. I can't do it anymore. We have everything we need and more. We gave up our expensive gym membership, because Don has a gym at his work, and I wasn't getting there during the day with the Little Man. They said I could bring him to the nursery, but I just couldn't leave him there yet....he isn't my baby, and that does make a difference! Also, the germs...it's one thing exposing myself...but Conner...couldn't do it. (Some stranger could try to pick him up....) Then, there was just the logistics. I had enough trouble having the two hours to get me over there in and out of the pool, shower and go home...in winter. But with Conner....it just makes me exhausted thinking about it. So, I have been utilizing the hundreds of dollars worth of exercise DVD's and weights I have here....I love the newest Firm DVD's I bought last summer as well as Leslie Sansone's 3 mile walk DVD. I really feel convicted that I need to use what I have and stop looking for new answers. I think God's already sent me rescue boats, (no, I wasn't in Bethesda!), helecopters, tug boats.....a Hummer....and I'm waiting around for something new to change me. I need to use the tools God has given me, and start looking for more ways to serve Him with my strength and gifts. I still have my goal of getting down to my goal weight by the end of 2009. I could use prayers, but I'm optomistic. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (I'll let you know what my engagement anniversary present is...I have a feeling that it will be inspirational!) :)

A Rant about Rudeness

I took a wimpy little journey into self assertion the other day. Most of the time I ignore it when someone is rude to me, but it seems that women my age start taking chances, calling people on their oversights, or downright meanness. My anger reflexes are a bit slow sometimes, but a so-called sales person in the CVS at Fair Oaks Mall really burned me up last Saturday! I was looking for a Wii game for Don, and I had looked all over the mall for it with no success. I went into CVS for something else and noticed they had Wii games. The salesman was a few feet from the Wii display, and I looked his way for a couple of minutes. Then I said, "Excuse me, do you have such and so game?" He stared at me in the eyes for a minute or so...and then a friend of his walked into CVS, and he pointedly ignored me, turned his attention to his friend and began about a 5 minute pointless conversation about some party and some girl. I was really angry, but I looked through the games....ignoring the conversation. After his friend left, the young man tried to talk to me, but I wouldn't even look his way. Then he said, rather obnoxiously, "That game you wanted, I sold the last one just a minute before you walked through the door!" Then he said it again. I ignored him and walked out of the CVS, but I was still thinking about it yesterday. After telling my family about it, everyone said I should have talked to the manager of the store. So I decided to call the store. I know it was too little too late, but I wanted to show that young man that he couldn't just discount people without consequences. BUT I had to call the 411 operator for AT&T. I have never spoken to a nice AT&T operator, and this one was no exception. She asked me for the address to Fair Oaks Mall. I told her Rt. 50, and she proceeded to give me an attitude, naming all of the streets in Fairfax county. I interrupted her and said, "You know, I have never once spoken to a curteous 411 operator from AT&T. I am going to file a formal complaint." She said, "So do you want the number?" I hung up. Then I tried to call the AT&T 0 operator. There isn't one. So I gave up. See, I told you it was a wimpy attempt. I think I waste a lot less time and emotional energy by just telling myself that other people's rudeness is their problem, not mine, as long as I am polite. But, if you decide to be rude to me, know this: I am not blind, I am not stupid, and I do have a voice, and I notice your rudeness. I just choose to rise above it. If that makes me arrogant, then what does it make you? Just asking.....