Yesterday I was having a sad day. I like ironing when I am sad--there is something soothing in smoothing out the wrinkles of my husband's shirts when I can't smooth out the wrinkles in my life. I decided to call Grace when I was ironing and found out she may not be living near me much longer. That's all it took to make me cry. Luckily Little Man was busy bouncing his bouncy seat and didn't pay any attention to Grandma's tears. Why do I always feel guilty when someone moves out of my life? I think of all the times I was too preoccupied in my own life to get together with Grace...and now I may not have the opportunity much longer. Grace is one of the most creative and intelligent person I have ever known who also possesses a great humility. Most people with her skills, knowledge and beautiful home might be a little proud, but not Grace. She is hospitable, kind, and she is interested in the lives and marriages of others. I love that about her and Roland. She is a great wife, mother and friend. I will miss her and Roland.
I worked every moment yesterday when I wasn't taking care of Conner. Lisa rode with me as I took Conner home, and then she called me last night to see if I wanted to go help her clean offices, which is her part time job. I've been looking for ways to earn extra money, and I always have fun with Lisa, so I went to clean with Lisa last night after I washed up our dinner dishes. Don gave me his blessing, because I was in my processing mode, and all he really wanted to do was click through the channels with his new giant remote that our son gave him for his birthday and maybe play wii....basically not process with me. Lisa and I had fun, and we got a lot of cleaning done really fast. She said that it usually takes longer with a new person, but we finished ontime, and I vacuumed more offices than I needed to vacuum. It was an hour's worth of work, and I made $30--not bad. I actually like cleaning, and as you can see it burns a LOT of calories. Today I hope to do some writing.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
A Kindred Heart
Now I know why we need such a diverse body of believers! I am finding fellowship with a woman with whom I have never spoken, but who could, if I could speak to her, completely understand the grief my heart feels over my son Nathan, who has moved far from us, although he lives just a block away. Ruth Graham, Billy Graham's wife, wrote a beautiful book that reads like a balm to a hurting parent's heart, PRODIGALS AND THOSE WHO LOVE THEM. I wrote away for this book months ago, and had only given it a cursory glance here and there before two weeks ago. Ruth Graham uses scriptures, her own reflections and beautiful poetry to express the agony she went through as several of her own children went through pretty long prodigal seasons. This one I really relate to:
Had I Been Joseph's Mother
Had I been Joseph's mother
I'd have prayed
protection from his brothers
"God, keep him safe.
He is so young, so different from
the others."
Mercifully,
she never knew
there would be slavery
and prison, too.
Had I been Moses' mother
I'd have wept
to keep my little son:
praying she might forget
the babe drawn from the water
of the Nile.
Had I not kept
him for her
nursing him the while,
was he not mine?
--and she
but Pharaoh's daughter
Had I been Daniel's mother
I should have pled
"Give victory!
--this Babylonian horde
godless and cruel--
Don't let him be a captive
--better dead.
Almighty Lord!"
Had I been Mary,
Oh, had I been she
I would have cried
as never mother cried
"Anything, O God,
Anything...
but crucified>'
With such prayers importunate
my finite wisdom would assail
Infinite Wisdom.
God, how fortunate
Infinite Wisdom
should prevail.
By Ruth Graham
Had I Been Joseph's Mother
Had I been Joseph's mother
I'd have prayed
protection from his brothers
"God, keep him safe.
He is so young, so different from
the others."
Mercifully,
she never knew
there would be slavery
and prison, too.
Had I been Moses' mother
I'd have wept
to keep my little son:
praying she might forget
the babe drawn from the water
of the Nile.
Had I not kept
him for her
nursing him the while,
was he not mine?
--and she
but Pharaoh's daughter
Had I been Daniel's mother
I should have pled
"Give victory!
--this Babylonian horde
godless and cruel--
Don't let him be a captive
--better dead.
Almighty Lord!"
Had I been Mary,
Oh, had I been she
I would have cried
as never mother cried
"Anything, O God,
Anything...
but crucified>'
With such prayers importunate
my finite wisdom would assail
Infinite Wisdom.
God, how fortunate
Infinite Wisdom
should prevail.
By Ruth Graham
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
A Much Better Day
I got so much done around the house today that I counted the hours I cleaned house as exercise. I cleaned every minute I wasn't holding or caring for Conner, which was about 3 hours. I cleaned the carpets downstairs and got caught up with the laundry,dusted the piano and other furniture and cleaned bathrooms. Tomorrow and Thursday I want to work outside.
I hope everyone got their taxes done. Don did ours a week ago, and this year all of our sons did their own, so I didn't have to think about taxes today.
Tomorrow I am going to finish up my housework and write for three hours, if all goes as planned. Conner is enjoying his new mobility and plays a lot on his own now. But he still loves being in Grandma's lap.
Today was a much better day.
I hope everyone got their taxes done. Don did ours a week ago, and this year all of our sons did their own, so I didn't have to think about taxes today.
Tomorrow I am going to finish up my housework and write for three hours, if all goes as planned. Conner is enjoying his new mobility and plays a lot on his own now. But he still loves being in Grandma's lap.
Today was a much better day.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Beginning Again
Today is our son Steve's birthday. I didn't get to talk to him, because of his work schedule, but both Don and I left messages on his phone. We are getting together on Friday night for birthday cake for hubby Don and Steve. 27 years ago, I had a precious, sweet little baby boy! He has been easily pleased and very caring towards other people all of these years. I am thankful to know Steve as a man...he is the kind of person I would want for a friend if he wasn't my son.
I had a pretty low day today--I knew it was coming, and I decided to give in to it--for a day. It's one thing to be broken hearted for myself--but it's another thing to see my husband and our whole family broken-hearted. I'm sure Nathan is broken-hearted too, even though no one has heard from him. We have always been a unit....even after we went into different units, especially the brothers. I have always wondered about Jesus saying, "Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted." I have thought a lot about that statement. There is an implication there that we have a choice whether or not we mourn. Maybe denial is a refusal to mourn--"everything is oookay". And when we are in denial, it's not like we don't know there is a problem--we just are not mourning, so we can't be comforted. Today I didn't want to get out of bed. Don had to work, and I don't watch Little Man on Mondays, so I stayed in bed until almost 9. Then I got up and made coffee for son Don who goes to work at 10. (He and I stayed up talking from 1 until 3 this morning...a really good, meaningful conversation.) Anyway, after I finished making the coffee, I went back to bed and stayed there all morning. I can't remember the last time I did that....and I cried out to God. All of the rest of the day I felt sad, but better. Tonight I feel comforted, and Don does too...God is answering prayers. Chris has been so supportive even though he and his brothers are sad about Nathan, too, and Chris and Cameron have been having some of their own stress. I was expecting to see Nathan today--he hasn't picked up his tax forms from here. But I didn't go looking for him...he's a man, and they are his taxes. (Boy, is he going to be mad at himself if he misses out on his tax rebate.)
Tomorrow is a new day...I am beginning again with my daily self-discipline. I actually have been keeping up with most of it this past week...I've been doing my Bible study and prayer, and I've been exercising most days. I have also been doing fairly well with calories. Today, I didn't count calories or exercise. I decided making the bed, picking up and washing the clothes is good enough for today. I put the trash out for Don, since he had to work late. He appreciated that. I got almost everything I needed to do for tomorrow done this afternoon, and I decided to stay up a little late and write in my blog. For a while, I am going to focus on my daily discipline in my blog. I have heard that when we are going through trials, we should rely on our daily routine to feel more normal. Also, I am going to try hard not to be a burden to my loved ones. God can sustain me and meet my needs.
I had a pretty low day today--I knew it was coming, and I decided to give in to it--for a day. It's one thing to be broken hearted for myself--but it's another thing to see my husband and our whole family broken-hearted. I'm sure Nathan is broken-hearted too, even though no one has heard from him. We have always been a unit....even after we went into different units, especially the brothers. I have always wondered about Jesus saying, "Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted." I have thought a lot about that statement. There is an implication there that we have a choice whether or not we mourn. Maybe denial is a refusal to mourn--"everything is oookay". And when we are in denial, it's not like we don't know there is a problem--we just are not mourning, so we can't be comforted. Today I didn't want to get out of bed. Don had to work, and I don't watch Little Man on Mondays, so I stayed in bed until almost 9. Then I got up and made coffee for son Don who goes to work at 10. (He and I stayed up talking from 1 until 3 this morning...a really good, meaningful conversation.) Anyway, after I finished making the coffee, I went back to bed and stayed there all morning. I can't remember the last time I did that....and I cried out to God. All of the rest of the day I felt sad, but better. Tonight I feel comforted, and Don does too...God is answering prayers. Chris has been so supportive even though he and his brothers are sad about Nathan, too, and Chris and Cameron have been having some of their own stress. I was expecting to see Nathan today--he hasn't picked up his tax forms from here. But I didn't go looking for him...he's a man, and they are his taxes. (Boy, is he going to be mad at himself if he misses out on his tax rebate.)
Tomorrow is a new day...I am beginning again with my daily self-discipline. I actually have been keeping up with most of it this past week...I've been doing my Bible study and prayer, and I've been exercising most days. I have also been doing fairly well with calories. Today, I didn't count calories or exercise. I decided making the bed, picking up and washing the clothes is good enough for today. I put the trash out for Don, since he had to work late. He appreciated that. I got almost everything I needed to do for tomorrow done this afternoon, and I decided to stay up a little late and write in my blog. For a while, I am going to focus on my daily discipline in my blog. I have heard that when we are going through trials, we should rely on our daily routine to feel more normal. Also, I am going to try hard not to be a burden to my loved ones. God can sustain me and meet my needs.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Still needing prayers
My friends Diane and Chris Sterritt have gone to be with their daughter, Jenn, who fell off of her bicycle at college and broke her jaw in several places. Jenn is a sweet, smart, beautiful girl...and I love her. (I'd love her even if she was surly, not so smart and not so beautiful.) Please pray for Jenn, for Diane and Chris and for Sarah. Pray for their safe return from Nashville, too. Sometimes life gets really hard!
Pray for our youngest son, Nathan, too. He is living on his own now, and his whole family loves and misses him....and we are all concerned for him and his well-being.
Please pray for our whole family. We have a lot to be thankful for, with our little Conner and knowing that Cameron is okay. But we are still concerned for Cameron's health....I want her to start feeling like her old self again. Don and I are having a hard time with all of the stress, but we are dealing with it as a team, relying on God to help us. But we're still upset. Pray that we maintain our discipline and that we not worry. Thanks, friends for your prayers.
Pray for our youngest son, Nathan, too. He is living on his own now, and his whole family loves and misses him....and we are all concerned for him and his well-being.
Please pray for our whole family. We have a lot to be thankful for, with our little Conner and knowing that Cameron is okay. But we are still concerned for Cameron's health....I want her to start feeling like her old self again. Don and I are having a hard time with all of the stress, but we are dealing with it as a team, relying on God to help us. But we're still upset. Pray that we maintain our discipline and that we not worry. Thanks, friends for your prayers.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Cream Tea with Lisa, Hazel and Conner
It was a beautiful day today, and Conner and I visited our neighbor Hazel with Lisa, my next door neighbor for "cream tea". Hazel is from England, and we love teasing her about it. Lisa and I dressed up and I put on some fancy winter gloves, and we both wore long dresses. Hazel got a kick out of us. She lost her sweet husband, Bob, who was the handyman servant of God in our neighborhood (suddenly, last fall).
I'm cutting this short, because I'm exhausted and I have art class tomorrow. Have a great weekend.
I'm cutting this short, because I'm exhausted and I have art class tomorrow. Have a great weekend.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Family Time
I know I haven't blogged in a long time, but we've been having several things in our family that have taken priority. We found out that my daughter-in-law is okay...she has Bell's Palsey, which is not serious, but the symptoms look like other things, like a brain tumor, which is what we were all concerned about. She had an MRI last Friday, and we found out Tuesday she is okay. That is a huge relief to us all...especially Chris and Cameron.
Our son Nathan moved out on his own over the weekend, which is something he has been wanting to do for a long time. We are praying that he will be able to thrive on his own and that he will be blessed by our Heavenly Father, as he turns to Him for guidance. We will miss him living with us.
Some really great news is that our son Don and his beautiful fiance Elise Swenson are getting married September 27th at our church building. We are all excited and are looking forward to their wedding very much.
Don Sr. has been doing automatic weapons training, hand to hand combat training, counter terrorism training and shotgun training for his new position. I was really nice to him this week! :) Both Don Sr. and Don Jr. have birthdays this week: Sr. 53, Jr. 24! Son Steve's birthday is Monday....he is going to be 27. He got to sit in 1st row at a Caps game--I think it is Caps....one of those pro games, anyway...I'm sure basketball. Can you tell I do water aerobics and watch Dancing with the Stars?
Our son Nathan moved out on his own over the weekend, which is something he has been wanting to do for a long time. We are praying that he will be able to thrive on his own and that he will be blessed by our Heavenly Father, as he turns to Him for guidance. We will miss him living with us.
Some really great news is that our son Don and his beautiful fiance Elise Swenson are getting married September 27th at our church building. We are all excited and are looking forward to their wedding very much.
Don Sr. has been doing automatic weapons training, hand to hand combat training, counter terrorism training and shotgun training for his new position. I was really nice to him this week! :) Both Don Sr. and Don Jr. have birthdays this week: Sr. 53, Jr. 24! Son Steve's birthday is Monday....he is going to be 27. He got to sit in 1st row at a Caps game--I think it is Caps....one of those pro games, anyway...I'm sure basketball. Can you tell I do water aerobics and watch Dancing with the Stars?
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Needing Prayers
We had a pretty rough weekend. The Christian Writers' conference was wonderful. We have a lot going on at home with our family right now. We would appreciate your prayers.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
A Little "Under the Weather"
I have been away from my computer this week, because I have had some problems with my right hand--I have been having a lupus flare up, and for a couple of days, I couldn't use my right hand, because all of the joints were so painful. I didn't really calculate my calories and I didn't exercise except for walking on Tue afternoon, but today I got back into the swing of things. My hand is still a little sore, but I can use it again.
I had a lot of fun on April Fool's day! I was able to trick: hubby Don,son Nathan, my daughter in law,Cam, my friends Lisa,Lynn, Cynthia and Lisa's daughter, London.
I'm too tired to write about them all, but there was a lot of laughing.
My daughter in law is on my mind tonight. She is having an MRI tomorrow. I'm praying for her...she's been having some confusing symptoms. I think she's okay, but I'm still praying for her. She's more like a daughter to me....we all really love her and need her to be her spunky healthy self! Her mom is on my mind, too. She had a car accident. We were really glad she wasn't injured, but so sorry she messed up her car.
I navigated my way to Ft. Belvoir and got groceries tonight...to my own peril. At one point, people were whizzing by me so fast that I put on my hazard lights. I didn't really feel like going there but Lisa and I are going to Baltimore for the Christian Writers' conference tomorrow night, and I didn't want to leave Don with no healthy food at home. I'll write more next week...have a good weekend.
I had a lot of fun on April Fool's day! I was able to trick: hubby Don,son Nathan, my daughter in law,Cam, my friends Lisa,Lynn, Cynthia and Lisa's daughter, London.
I'm too tired to write about them all, but there was a lot of laughing.
My daughter in law is on my mind tonight. She is having an MRI tomorrow. I'm praying for her...she's been having some confusing symptoms. I think she's okay, but I'm still praying for her. She's more like a daughter to me....we all really love her and need her to be her spunky healthy self! Her mom is on my mind, too. She had a car accident. We were really glad she wasn't injured, but so sorry she messed up her car.
I navigated my way to Ft. Belvoir and got groceries tonight...to my own peril. At one point, people were whizzing by me so fast that I put on my hazard lights. I didn't really feel like going there but Lisa and I are going to Baltimore for the Christian Writers' conference tomorrow night, and I didn't want to leave Don with no healthy food at home. I'll write more next week...have a good weekend.
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