Hopefully I am over the insanity of the past couple of days. I'd like to blame it on my cold, but I'm pretty sure that only caused the fatigue I've been having. I am definitely an emotional eater, and I've always thought that--but only when I'm really trying to live my committment am I certain of it.
Having realized that, I have been working on the many things that were on my mind this week. I can talk about a few of them here. Don's job is changing. We won't really know how much until right before their contract is due to end or be renewed.
Rumor has it that someone else got the bid, but other rumors have it that his company has retained the contract. Stressful not to know.... Also, Don has been hired by a sub contractor and now the prime contractor for a job he REALLY wants , but we have been waiting for over a week to hear if they will hire him. Some other people were submitted as well. We have been praying about this for a long time, and we know God has our best interest at heart, so we are both reminding each other to trust God, because He has always led us in the best direction.
I miss having my boys at church with us. There are a lot of factors that go into this, but having Conner with us at church last week made me realize how much I miss seeing all of my family together at worship. They all have their own reasons for worshipping elsewhere or not worshipping right now. I have a lot of feelings about that, too, but I respect their right to decide. But as a mom, I miss my family being together worshipping God on Sundays. Last Sunday, as I held Conner up so he could see what was going on, it was "deja-vu all over again"! How many times did I do that with my baby boys over the years? I always loved having them with me in church. I was and am so proud of my 4 boys--how many people can say they have 4 boys? :)Sundays were always special days, and even when Don would go away on trips with the band, as long as everyone was well, the boys and I made our pilgrimage down 295 and the Baltimore-Washington parkway from Bolling AFB to University Park Church of Christ three times a week...and then, after we moved here, to Fairfax. Sometimes I was up and down so many times with one boy or another that I wondered if I did any good at all coming to church, and many times older women told me how great a job I was doing and how wonderful it was that I showed up to worship God--that I was making a lasting impression on my boys. I hope so. I know many times I was frantically looking around for keys or shoes at the last minute.....hurrying everyone up, stressed. I wonder how pleasant that was for the boys, especially the older ones? Later, when I first got sick with lupus and didn't feel like going to church on Wed. nights, I would end up going anyway, because one or more of the boys would say, "We HAVE to go to church! We have agape group!" I think mothers everywhere must ask themselves what they could have done better and they may have mental lists like I do. I just pray that God's loving grace erases any negative influence we have had on them and that they remember the fun times we had driving down 295 singing at the top of our lungs! But, hey, that could be one of the not-so-good memories with me singing! :) Anyway,today I'm completely ready to keep going with my program--God's grace is awesome! I want to prove to everyone who knows I depend on Him to help me, that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength! Pray for me!
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